up and down weight of a woman

Maybe dudes have some of these issues, but look between

1) age

2) change of lifestyle

3) dieting

23 weeks pregnant with Rex

4) pregnancy

5) nursing

6) weird diet her friend told her to do, but made her dizzy and retain water

7) working in TV

7.5) stress

9) getting pregnant again

10) nursing again

11) exhaustion

12) another friend’s other weird diet that made me crave pineapple

 

Women have to contend with being the great growing and shrinking machine. Right now I’m in the shrinking phase after having been stuck at belly-fat-palooza for a while.  I’ve lost 8 lbs with a combo of stress and weight watchers.  I also embrace being a tad hungry at time and muscle through it.   I have a lot of cute clothes from when I was richer and thinner and I’d like to fit back into them.

I stumbled across this chestnut from when I was pregnant with Rex

and I was in the Growing phase.  It all comes down to organizing your closet! The big clothes, the small clothes.  I’m still a recessionista so I’m not throwing anything away and buying very little, unless I get as small as Jennifer Hudson.

baby belly, who cares?

As I was going through the mountain of pitches I got in the last 2 months one jumped out at me.  It was from a company that has actress Ali Landry in their ads.  The pitch said “Ali Landry bares her baby bump”  My first thought, was who cares, Demi Moore beat her to the punch by about 20 years.  No offense to Ali Landry, she is a beautiful human and I’m sure very nice person.

can this thing sell cream or what?

My next thought was: That doesn’t take courage.  Courage is showing your belly AFTER the baby has vacated the belly.  One of my favorite sites for empowering woman about their bodies is Shape of a Mother.  No holds barred real women, real bodies, after real pregnancies ended and left destruction in their wake.

I could show you pictures of my pregnant belly all day long with pride.  My big belly had a purpose.  It was carrying life.  It radiated joy.  It was TAUT.  It ain’t taut now.  So, for the newbies to coolmom I show this reprieve of my ode to what happens to a woman, hey, maybe it just happened to short waisted, cheese loving, moderate exercising me.  It’s Muffinlicious.

 

Rosie Pope giveaway

Okay, a little break from local politics, but still, alas, LA centered event.  Pretty preg czar Rosie Pope is throwing a little mommy party and you are invited.  Rosie has her own maternity line, and some nice clothes for those of us who will not be popping…anymore.  She is a maternity concierge.  What?  Does she make you dinner reservations?  Think she helps expectant moms get their game plan together.

She is the star of the Bravo reality series “Pregnant in Heels”.  She has helped famous moms to be look chic and one of the ladies who goes to this event will be picked to get a fab make over.

So, here is the deal, if you are in Southern California next week RSVP to aaron@finnpartners.com for this event, tell them I sent you.   Only five spots open and there will be a GIFT BAG.

That will get you into the event, meet Rosie, get her book, maybe get a make over.  It’s sponsored by Scholarshare California’s 529 plan.  The event is on May 29, get it, 5/29.  Get it?  At the Grove at 3rd and Fairfax in LA.  It’s from 12 to 2.  This is not a sponsored post, but they were nice to work with last year so I want to support them.  Hey, in LA it’s not just about politics 😉 Best part

Valet parking will be provided for confirmed attendees.

 

 

The

Cranky pregnant woman

My friend Joanna is weeks from giving birth.  I see her at drop off with her first grader and her toddler son- who is also Rex’s BFF. Parking at our school is difficult for those of us not carrying around an extra 40 lbs. Finding a place to park near a crack house, stepping over dog poo while holding two kids hands is our morning.  Too boot Los Angeles is having record setting heat.  Today it’s 101.  October.  101.  Yeah, global warming, I believe you.

Seeing her waddle in and telling her son “no, I can’t pick you up.”  I had a deep flashback. “Don’t you just want to kill everyone?”  I queried.  Yes, said without hesitation ( which is one of the reasons I like her)

The funny thing is I actually think my cranky gave me some energy.  Mother nature’s way of pushing you through those final, heavy, back breaking months.   MOMS to be… especially those with older kids, this ones for you!

Yes, I Still Wear Maternity Clothes

I have issues here, people. I need you to work them out! Am I clever or a crazy lady? Perhaps a bit of both. How long did you wear your maternity clothes?

I would write more, but my brain is meatballs. Was awoken four times last night: once by Rex at 1:30am (“You come here now, mommy!”) and three times by Vivien. She wanted to sleep in her pop-up castle.  Rex’s screams awakened her to the fact that she was darn uncomfortable.  I put her in her bed (well, Oliver’s bed, but hers when he is gone, sigh).  Then she woke me up pissed that I had taken her out of her castle.  I put her back. Then she came back because she couldn’t sleep. I don’t quite remember it, but then she ended up sandwiched between me and MP.  At 6am, when Rex started screaming again, I told the man who impregnated me to get up. That bought me about 25 minutes. Then Rex hurled books at me (see “reads”).

But, back to the issue at hand, just because Fashion Team was canceled is that any excuse for me to cling to my old clothes?

Getting Down to Toddler Level

I feel very lucky to have had my little guy.  I think I’m more keenly aware of that blessing since I had a miscarriage after Vivien.  I also love that I birthed a terrific straight man.  For someone who loves comedy as much I do, this is pretty awesome.

(Btw, I am writing this with 3 generations of noise makers right behind me right before dinner.  “Yes, the leaf for the table is under Oliver’s bed….” “Rex went to the potty?  Oh, yeah, he knew he was peeing in his diaper,” etc.  Photo of it here)

Anyway, back to the video of the day.  In all the bits and pieces of life, it’s easy to keep charging instead of savoring my baby.

Now, as for my inherent motor mouth and self involvement, that’s another story.

Message to expectant moms

Now, I assume that most people who come here are already parents.  But, once in a while I hear from some who have not crossed over that threshold.  This vid is for you!   I find when I have a co-worker or friend who is about to have a baby I spill forth a five minute warning/to do list for any expectant mother.  I guess it’s my version of what I feel people withhold from would be moms.

So, here is a shorter version.  I didn’t mention everything…like the blood that comes out of you for weeks that no one tells you about.  I guess we all need surprises.

Please feel free to add your own warnings and advice.