You know those dreams that seem so real they are hard to shake? Last night I had one and I was going to clobber my husband in the morning, except that Rex’s body was half draped across his. Nice the boy protects his father.
I get up hours before Mark does so I had had coffee and breakfast and was able to calm down enough to tell him about my dream.
“We didn’t have any kids yet and you hadn’t lost your money yet. We had just gotten married and where staying a fancy hotel, but you also had an Asian girlfriend.”
Mark, ” I like where this dream is going.”
“No, it was a terrible dream, because on our first day of marriage you told me that tomorrow me and your young daughter-”
“Yeah, Oliver was a girl.”
Exasperated, “She didn’t have a name I was just going to have to mind her while spent a night with your Asian girlfriend. I was fuming and you didn’t see anything wrong with it.”
“I have a lot of nerve.”
“Yes, you do. I was bathed in expensive clothes and jewelery and then it occurred to me that I could leave you. I didn’t have kids with you and I would leave you. I walked in to the closet where you were and told you so. You still didn’t get why I wasn’t okay with this arrangement and then I screamed, “who do you think I am ___ ____” I screamed the name of a women my father had a very icky relationship with that adversely affected my family of origin.
“You were really angry.” Mark said.
Then I let him have his first cup of coffee.
On the way to school Vivien asked if I had put the meatloaf I had made for dinner the night before in her lunch as she had asked.
“Oh, sweetie, daddy ate the last of it. But, today is taco day!” normally a winner. Not today.
“Waaa, I wanted the meatloaf!” I had a brief thrill that she was so excited about my meatloaf. But, she was now spiraling down a sensitive little girl path that meant dropping her off at school would not go smoothly. I called Mark.
“You ate all of the meatloaf, right?” He had. The phone was on speaker so he could hear the sobs. Yes, he had actually done something wrong for real. Well, eating dinner in his own home when he is hungry might not qualify, but it would have to do.
I assured her I would make the loaf of wonder again tonight.
As good as it is, I hope it doesn’t give me bad dreams.