Names for Boys

When you don’t want to name your baby boy David or Zeus, what is the sweet-spot for choosing his name? We are struggling with this one, as I am expecting a boy, and I feel like I have to tear through school rosters so I don’t pick a super-trendy name. My favorite is when people suggest I use a family name, like someone from past generations. Ha! A name from one of the esteemed former racists and alcoholics of generations past? One of them? We aren’t the Mountbattens!

Baby Has Me In Training

I don’t know if it’s my general anxiety or my full bladder, but sleep has become a tad restless lately. Seeing that I’m only 21 weeks pregnant, I think it’s too early for this. But this is the third morning in a row that I am waking up at 5 am, unable to go back to sleep.

From 5 to 6 I have to lay and worry about everything and everyone. Or work up some dormant anger about some past slight. Having some time before the house wakes up is okay. I make my one cup of coffee for the day – a sweet half-cup before I’m forced to switch to decaf. Then I take a walk, read the paper, watch the news, space out online, but dang, I’d sure like more sleep.

I think the baby is nudging me to remember what it will be like when he arrives. No longer the leisure life of a kid in preschool, but growling at my husband if he doesn’t help with the 11 and 2 feedings. Oh, yes, I know what’s coming. Breathe in “miracle of life,” breathe out “someone will care when I die.” I must stay focused on the important things, not that disabled feeling for the first couple of weeks, or months, or year and a half.

If only I could take a sleeping pill!

What Not To Say

This vlog is not a knee-slapper. But I wanted to reach out to the women who have gone through a miscarriage, like I did.

Like so many things in life, you can’t totally relate unless you’ve gone through it. If I had thought about it before it happened to me, I don’t think I would have felt as bad as I did. I couldn’t talk about it for a while. But, as I lay in the recovery room of the hospital (since I not only had a miscarriage, but hemorrhaged badly and had to have a blood transfusion), the nice nurse told me she had four miscarriages before having her child. Geez! I don’t think I could have handled that. She seemed so plucky, too.

It seemed people came out of the woodwork with their own tales of loss. People have had worse hits than my own, like the women who have to give birth to a stillborn child. Just heart-breaking.

But if you haven’t gone through something like a miscarriage and are not sure what to say to someone who has, take a listen. And if you have gone through it, I’m sorry, and I think you will relate to this.

I’ll always miss my angel.

Clothes I Can’t Give Up

Hey, I need your help with this. I was going through my daughter’s closet and I’m wondering what I should do with the clothes she has grown out of. It’s very hard for me to let them go. It might not be logical to keep them, but I imagine years from now when I’m an old lady living by myself–well, maybe with a cat–that I will be clutching Vivien’s baby clothes. Smelling them and thinking of when she was my little, bitty girl. And hoping she comes to visit…or calls? Would it kill her to call her mom once in a while? Oh, I’m getting ahead of myself. Do other people have a hard time letting the baby clothes go?