Handing your kids over to their Father!

So ironic that this episode should post today.

Last night I went to a financial seminar.  Not setting my hair on fire, but listening to an economist.  Here I was taking notes for my dear husband who was home with the kids.  It was an engaging little lecture about how the European financial issues are playing out and how they could affect us in the US ( in summary, if it were 14 years ago, a lot, but we have a lot of different trading partners, so not so much).  Also, the economist said something about the bogus term “Fiscal cliff” to which I blurted out, “I just blogged about this!”.

Anyway, since Mark is now home at night for the first time in our entire marriage I knew I had to school him about our routines.I didn’t know I had to worry about him being a man child.

Yes, this video is about when you go out of town or out ON the town and leave the kids with the old man.  But, lately I’ve gone out twice for two hours and it was LORD OF THE FLIES when I got back.

I got home..9:00pm All lights are on in the house blazing, “Ghostbusters” is an hour in, Rex is sitting naked next to Mark on the couch, Vivien still in her day clothes.  They are all laughing.  No bath, no teeth brushed.

Me: “What the hell?”  I turn the movie off.  I scold my husband.  It’s a school night, you played a movie the other night, I told you, movies are for weekends only, blah blah.  Yes, I sound like a harpy, but a harpy in the right.

“Do I have to get a sitter for you too?”  He just looked kind of sheepish.  As I got Vivien in her nightgown she was trying to take the heat for her dad.  While I could hear him throwing Rex on the bed and laughing.  Sure, it’s great he is a nice father, but time to calm the toddler down now.  He should go to bed before midnight!   I was so steamed I didn’t speak to  Mark for the rest of the night.  Granted the rest of my night was reading three stories to Rex and falling asleep with him, but there you have it.   I should have watched THIS video before I went out.

This ensures I will never get divorced because if I do my kids will be up all night eating donuts on nights with dad.

Apparently, corporate bonds and big muni bonds are still good.

 

Bedtime Battles

Okay, I’m doing something wrong. I know I am. The last couple of nights it’s a freaking scene trying to get Vivien to sleep. I admit it does not bring out the best in me. I just want a little TV/reading time and then to go to sleep.

Just a few nights ago, she told me to beat it, and she went down peacefully all by herself. But the last two nights are indicative of what about 25% percent of my week is with her. I say, “last cartoon.” Then we go and book out picks, have some milk, brush teeth, a little talk or song, and sleep… except she is writhing around and doesn’t want to sleep, can’t sleep. I stay with her while she sleeps. I have since she was tiny. It bugs Mark, but I’m like, hey you aren’t home at bedtime most of the time anyway, so what do you care?

I can stay till she goes to sleep, that’s okay… when it’s a few minutes, but these nighttime battles are making me bonkers.

My neighbor said yesterday that her kids pass out at 7:30. Wow, that would be a dream. Her kids are a little older and no longer have a naptime at school. Okay, so I told Vivien, “You don’t have to nap at school” hoping she would be so pooped I’d be watching “Modern Family” all relaxed with a facial mask.

Mark looked horrified when I said “no nap.”

“But she will come home in a terrible mood.” Let’s try it, I said.

Sure enough.  After school Vivien, my sister Cecily and I all played Zingo till Vivien threw all the pieces down on the ground and rushed from the screaming, “You aren’t going to win, you aren’t going to win.”

Later, dinnertime went fine, last cartoon, fine. Reading books, teeth brushing, check and check. The lights when out.  And “Mommy I do not want to go to sleep.”

Arghhhhhh!

I said, fine, take your time, but I’m moving on. I didn’t say, “I’m tired of being your hostage.” Though I thought it. But she follows me out and says, “What should we do now mommy?”

Go to bed, that’s what we should do. Go to sleep. I remember some child development class saying stressing them out about bedtime is a bad idea, but now, I’M STRESSED.

Rex is looking perplexed, but now he see’s Vivien, so he is excited and he isn’t going down. Now I need to nurse him and get her down. And it’s 9:12 and I want to shut my door and watch TV by myself or take a bubble bath, or put a hobo sack over my solider and jump on a freight car.