Second-Hand Husbands

Gal pals I know who obsess on having the “cutest” boy on their arms are often dissapointed if they marry him. I liked the hunks for a weekend to six weeks (back in the day). But for boyfriends, I gravitated to funny and smart.  

I also think there is something to getting a pre-used husband.  Yes, you have to suspend the fantasy that only you two were brought together to share love and make babies. Hard to imagine your husband a virgin when he comes with three kids, and there’s no thinking that he had stored away all his love, waiting only for you. And there is a strain to having to negotiate a blended family and ex-spouses.  

But, aren’t vintage t-shirts more comfortable than brand-new ones? Don’t your bed sheets feel a lot better after a few washings than when you took them out of the bag? I hate new sweatshirts. My favorite one is from college. Some things need to be worn down to fit.

Blended Family

Hey stepparents! Some of you have mentioned that you’d like me to address our delicate family position a bit more. Well, here’s something to gnaw on.

This is how one aspect of the blended family affects our own children. It is important also to note how Vivien is improving my new haircut.

Step Mommies

From time to time, it’s good to hear from a mother wiser than myself – my mom!

My mom, Morency, not only raised three girls but has run her own small private school for close to 30 years. She deals with kids who would otherwise fall through the cracks, so I think she has a lot of insight.  Since I am a step mom, I wanted to ask her about the step parents she has known through the years.

Anyone who has had that job knows it can be a little dicey to navigate. And I am lucky. I never had the ABC Afterschool Special moment I thought I would have, a step child running down the hall, screaming, “Leave me alone, you aren’t my mother!” as they slam the door to their room.

Vacation Rehab

I was so excited there was water on our vacation at Yosemite this year, because for many years our butts have scraped gravel while we tried to raft.

I pushed the stroller and carried Vivien up to Bridalveil Fall so she could take in the wonder of the huge, beautiful, glorious falls. See how excited she is? Yeah, that was worth the effort.

Vivien in Yosemite

When I called my sister Cecily on Sunday and she said, “I am so tired.”

“Thank God,” I said, “I thought it was just me.” I came back from my whirlwind, blended-family vacation in Yosemite and Mammoth on Friday the 4th, yet still felt pooped and hit the ground running with work Monday. Also, a National Park vacation means days of laundry upon return. I also had my assisted-living-bound dad over which takes some energy… and clean up.

What’s the vacation people come back refreshed from?

But it all went great. There were 11 of us: sisters, step-children and more. Hiking, biking… and we weren’t camping, we stayed in cottages. I CAN’T camp anymore, I’m too old. (God, then I’d really be tired.)

More favorable than the waterfall, later that day I asked Vivien, “How do you like your hot dog?” Here’s her response.

Vivien gives the hot dog a thumbs-up