Little Chloe Sevigny

You know when you get a glimpse of your child and you can see a preview of what they will look like older?, The other day Vivien allowed a clip to go in her hair. Very rare. I thought she looked so pretty and it struck me, “She looks like Chloe Sevingy,” the actress on “Big Love” who always shows up on the red carpet in avant-garde fashion. Maybe it’s a silly celeb-fixated culture thing to think ones we know look like someone famous.

I got a glimpse of myself the other day with no make up and very little sleep and thought I bore a striking resemblance to Bea Arthur.

And then there’s Maude…

Golden Globes

I was twittering like a teletype while watching the pre-shows. I had to have some outlet since everyone else on the TV Guide staff was hired to work the red carpet except for me. (Sigh.)

After two hours of having NO ONE to agree with me how on how good gun metal dresses looked and how improved Jenna Fischer of The Office was, I yelled to Mark, “If I don’t get to watch this with a woman or a gay man I am going to go out of my mind.”

We were invited to watch it with some neighbor friends, but we had to wait while Rex’s car seat was washed and dried. Earlier there had been a rather disgusting accident. I don’t need to draw too clear of a picture.

When Ryan Seacrest tossed to his big forheaded co-host ( Yes, When TV Guide is on commercials, I do flip over to E!, but I always flip back) I ran and separated the car seat from the rest of the wet laundry and popped it into the dryer on high.  I had to get out of here.

I enjoyed watching the show when we got to our friend’s house. I liked Ricky Gervais’s put-down humor, and I thought dress-wise most of the gals wore gowns that favored their shape. They might not have been the best clothes, but for the most part none that cut people in the wrong way.

Least favorites. Julia Roberts. Ratty. Make an effort movie star.

Julianna Margulies, Love my “good wife,” but this neckline was distracting

Rita Wilson’s gown, wow, grandma left some drapes lying around?  Her husband can print money, let’s pick it up.

Kate Hudson, was she trying to steal something as she teetered on her hooker heels?

Diane Kruger, Here comes Kool Aid!

And sidebar, who is Sally Hawkins? She presented and everyone in the room was saying “who is this?” I just saw her name next to the picture of Ratty Roberts.

There was more good than bad, a few highlights:

Oliva Wilde ( “House”), was crazy about her sparkling gun metal, draped so well.

Marion Cotillard, that saucy French wench brought it.  Love the peekaboo lace on the leg. Daring, original, and the color of her dress was amazing with her eyes.

Jeanne Tripplehorn, momma has some junk in trunk and wore a lovely long sleeved black number with bejeweled cuffs that artfully pulls the eye away from any imperfections, and the solid color block is slimming.

And of course they all strutted in the rain, so if their hair survived they had great stylists… and probably enough air spray to finish off the ozone layer.

Emmy Party ’09

The only thing better than being on a guest list of a swank Hollywood party is to be someone’s “plus one.” I was lucky enough to be my friend Chris’s plus one to the HBO party. In an age of austerity, this soiree bucked the trend. Honestly, it was refreshing to see something excessive and fun. Moreover, I kept thinking of all the jobs it created. There were at least 4 long buffet tables, three elevated stages, and endless open bars. Some were sponsored by Moet and only poured champagne, which was fine with me.

Many stars were seen, Kevin Bacon (fellow Madoff victim), his wife Kyra Sedgwick looking thin and pretty in pink. Loved Chole Sevingy’s polka dot dress. In the beginning, it was mostly chubby regular folk dressed up who are the workers of the channel, and then later after the show ended, there was an infusion of tiny, thin people. They were the stars.

The day had gotten away from me, and I didn’t get to a salon in time to do my hair. So I thought, my Top Chef Master could do it. There, in the kitchen while he cooked up some mashed potatoes and pork chops, Mark used my flat iron for the first time in his life. And it did help.

I liked my dress but was very excited to wear BORROWED JEWELS. A first for me. On “The Fashion Team,” we were doing a story on a platinum (no, no gold here) jewelery suite. This is a place where stars and stylist for stars can borrow SERIOUS jewels. I sort of couldn’t believe they asked me, a confirmed G-lister, if I wanted to borrow something. I got a Sasha Primak diamond earrings, and a Michael Beaudry diamond bracelet. These were picked out for me by a stylist, Michael O’Connor. He’s a sweet guy who I did a segment with a while back. I held up a roundish pair of earrings at one point, and he said, “No, not with your jaw.” Note, my jaw needs to be slimmed.

When I showed them to my mother she said, “Oh, yeah, the real stuff does sparkle more.” I think they trumped my less-than-stellar ‘do. They are classic and beautiful. I had to return them post haste, but will wear them one more time for my show–when I will look a little cuter– and get a better picture then.

I used to think jewels that cost that much… oh, did I mention they cost… $70,000? Yep. I used to think that was crazy to spend something like that on jewels, but after the Madoff thing I don’t think so anymore. If one has money it might be better to have something tangible if the s– hits the fan. Better than a worthless financial statement and much prettier. I walked a bit taller at the party with them, but also checked them every 4 seconds. Didn’t want them to go the way of so many pairs of sunglasses… or boyfriends. Now where did I put that?

The place was massive; they had taken over the parking lot of the Pacific Design Center. It was all done up in deep reds and black. I’m sure it cost several hundred thousand dollars. And fun to see Jessica Lange sit down at a table a foot from me with her recently acquired Emmy in hand. (Sidebar, think she’s had a tad too much done to the face. But can’t blame a girl for trying!) But my breast were going to explode, and my feet were hurting.

As we waited for our car at valet who glides out but my old pool party buddy Jon Hamm. I could have said, “Hi, remember me? The thick-waisted mom?” but I didn’t have a chance. You see, he didn’t have to wait for a car on a folding chair like I did. His appeared, and he left.

Was praying Rex would go easy on me, and he did. He woke up at 2 and went right back to sleep. Phew. Then he was rarin’ to go at 6am. Not ideal, but I have had worse nights. And after an A-list party I really wasn’t up for some protracted sleep training night.

Oh, by the way, did anyone watch the show? I didn’t, I was eating the free food!

Michael Jackson’s Kids

In an attempt to parody the coverings of MJ’s kids, I ended up looking like Twitter avatar sticking up for Iranians.

I have to weigh in on some of the Michael Jackson stuff. I loved his old music, thought he was kind of sad, and probably after about “Smooth Criminal” didn’t pay a lot attention because he started to have the cooties.

It’s prurient sure, but it’s also because of being a mom I am curious about what happens to the kids. Or what has already happened to them. Raised with no mother, they have strange identical names, a ferris wheel in the back yard and every summer their father has a different face.  Someone will be penning a great tell all on their up bringing one day.

I was thrown by the Diana Ross as back up for guardian ship after his mother.  Miss Ross might need to step in at some point.  Less so because his mother is 80 and more so because her estranged husband Joe is a gross child abuser.  He is open about having beat his kids and their are rumors that he did even worse. Of course now there is speculation that they are not his biological kids as if that matters.  It does annoy me that people act like then they are not his kids.  I know many adopted children and their parents who would beg to differ. The dermatologist in question, Arnie Klein, my husband is acquainted with from the restaurant.  He talked about treating Michael, but over short ribs never offered up, “oh, and btw I fathered his kids.”  Mark said Klein was in a very bad car accident that has impaired his walking.

But, did Michael talk to Diana Ross about this?  Is she in Europe ( where I think she lives) saying, “oh, god, Can’t Liza do it? ” Michael was her best man. Liz Taylor can’t pull it together to be Auntie Mame?

I hope someone teaches them to manage money well.  Maybe Michael’s former mother in law Priscilla Presley could step in.  She save Elvis’s estate when it was in shambles.

Telling that he didn’t ask any of his siblings to step in.  Might be best if the children go to a less carnival like home where creepy grandpa can’t stop by.  But, what will it be like for them?  Where is the consistency?  Well, that’s where the nanny comes in.  They have had the same one their whole lives, their only “mother”.  But do they in a sense hire her till they are legal? ( Wait a minute, sound s like a good premise for a movie.  Kind of like “Parent Trap.”) Or the courts could give her custody and shove a few Beatles songs in her back pocket to support them?

Just thinking…

Visiting with Cheryl Tiegs

A couple of weeks ago, Miss Cheryl Tiegs was our guest on The Fashion Team. In addition to be being a modeling legend and judge on the reality show, “True Beauty” (guilty pleasure), she also has her own skin care line.

In the above picture, you will see how good she looks. She is still a beauty and I think she is almost 20 years older than me, and look at her. She looks younger than I do. She gave Lawrence (co-host) and me some of her wrinkle cream saying, “It really works,” and we have been slavishly slathering it on since.

Now, I don’t expect to be a Sports Illustrated model like her, but I asked her about how it was for her post-pregnancy in regards to her body (she has a son in high school).  She said it took her 6 months to lose the weight. That made me feel better. Because I would half-expect someone like her to do it in 6 days. I’m at two months now, so I will try not to totally freak out till I’m past the Tiegs threshhold.

Celeb Beauty Moment with Jane Kaczmarek

On the Fashion Team, we get various guests. Most are nice people. But every once in a while we get one (and by we I mean me and my co-host Lawrence Zarian) we hope puts us in their pocket and takes us home. That’s how we felt about Jane Kaczmarek: candid, witty, warm. She was talking about advice her mother gave her when we were taping, and it was funny and right on, so I asked her to share some of this grand dame’s sage words with our Cool Mom viewers as well.

Rough Red Carpet

No, not the tale of me as a lonely mom… but as a reporter on a red carpet. I was covering “Valentino: The Last Emperor” at the LA County Museum of Art for my TV guide network show, “The Fashion Team.” It was a Who’s Who of who didn’t talk to me… or most of the press. Nancy Reagan, Gwyneth Paltrow, Anne Hathaway (a couple people nabbed her), Rachel Zoe, Tom Ford. (Who, I might brag, I met once, and he told me I had great legs and that I had worn the perfect shoe that night. The shoe was a Sonya Rykyel) It was one of the harder red carpets I have worked. It wasn’t the biggest event but still not a lot of press avail, as we say. In general, working a red carpet is miserable for both sides of the carpet, but far worse for the press.

Here is how it goes: I arrive early and join a producer, cameraman, and sound man. We get in position, which in this case meant being sandwiched between InStyle magagazine and some German reporter. Normal, no prob. But then the stars were few and far between. And normally a PR person comes up to you and says, “Would you like to speak to ___ ?” That way if you say “no,” the star is not offended. But the only rep who was working was for the director of the movie and while he was literate and gave good sound bite, he wasn’t my first pic for my fashion-oriented show.

Part of the problem was being after InStyle. I always wondered how they get those round-up pages in their mag. You know, like “What’s in your medicine cabinet?”  Did they really call up Blair Underwood to ask him that? And it’s a bunch of stars. Well, it turns out, one reporter grabs a celeb and banks enough questions for 6 months worth of issues. By the time it was my turn, the celeb was pooped and moved on.

I was snubbed by Janice Dickinson. What?? Janice who loves press. Janice who is pulled and stretched to the nth. Janice who claims to be the first ever supermodel (not sure about that one). Janice who had a Tyra rip-off model search reality show. She wouldn’t talk? I’ve interviewed her before; she is usually hoppin’ for press. But not tonight. It reminded me of years ago at my first red carpet when I was snubbed by Tom Arnold at the “Titanic” premiere. You don’t know what humble means till you yell in vain “Tom, Tom, Tom Arnold!” as he speeds by. To be blown off by Gwyneth Paltrow I get, but Tom Arnold and now Janice Dickinson?

Who did talk to me? I got a tiny, uncharismatic sound bite from Nicky Hilton. Valentino spoke. But God love him, he doesn’t speak in sound bites but long chapters; don’t know how they will edit it. Joan Collins was lovely, and let me say, she looked great. She was wearing a long, narrow black skirt with a big slit with which she was flashing some fab senior gams. (My dad said if I could arrange a hook up, he was in). Rita Wilson (Mrs. Tom Hanks) was a delight in her Lanvin coat. She was ebullient and our favorite for sure. Very nice to the press.

Seeing all that haute couture and glamour blaze by me was probably a tad harder for me than normal as I am still wearing my maternity clothes.