Corrective Emotional Experience

Remember when before you were a parent, you would see a kid spazz out and think, “Well, those parents should give that kid the what for!” And then you became a parent, and you end up acting like Billy Mummy’s parents in that classic Twilight Zone, “The Good Life,” “Please don’t send us to the cornfield!” Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you are a special ed teacher (not that I have any idea what that is really like), or dealing with sensitive people with traumas. This is one of those times.

Michael Jackson’s Kids

In an attempt to parody the coverings of MJ’s kids, I ended up looking like Twitter avatar sticking up for Iranians.

I have to weigh in on some of the Michael Jackson stuff. I loved his old music, thought he was kind of sad, and probably after about “Smooth Criminal” didn’t pay a lot attention because he started to have the cooties.

It’s prurient sure, but it’s also because of being a mom I am curious about what happens to the kids. Or what has already happened to them. Raised with no mother, they have strange identical names, a ferris wheel in the back yard and every summer their father has a different face.  Someone will be penning a great tell all on their up bringing one day.

I was thrown by the Diana Ross as back up for guardian ship after his mother.  Miss Ross might need to step in at some point.  Less so because his mother is 80 and more so because her estranged husband Joe is a gross child abuser.  He is open about having beat his kids and their are rumors that he did even worse. Of course now there is speculation that they are not his biological kids as if that matters.  It does annoy me that people act like then they are not his kids.  I know many adopted children and their parents who would beg to differ. The dermatologist in question, Arnie Klein, my husband is acquainted with from the restaurant.  He talked about treating Michael, but over short ribs never offered up, “oh, and btw I fathered his kids.”  Mark said Klein was in a very bad car accident that has impaired his walking.

But, did Michael talk to Diana Ross about this?  Is she in Europe ( where I think she lives) saying, “oh, god, Can’t Liza do it? ” Michael was her best man. Liz Taylor can’t pull it together to be Auntie Mame?

I hope someone teaches them to manage money well.  Maybe Michael’s former mother in law Priscilla Presley could step in.  She save Elvis’s estate when it was in shambles.

Telling that he didn’t ask any of his siblings to step in.  Might be best if the children go to a less carnival like home where creepy grandpa can’t stop by.  But, what will it be like for them?  Where is the consistency?  Well, that’s where the nanny comes in.  They have had the same one their whole lives, their only “mother”.  But do they in a sense hire her till they are legal? ( Wait a minute, sound s like a good premise for a movie.  Kind of like “Parent Trap.”) Or the courts could give her custody and shove a few Beatles songs in her back pocket to support them?

Just thinking…

Too Much Mom

Okay people, here is another video I banked in anticipation of the phase I am in right now… mild road kill. It might be funny coming from a “mom blogger,” but sometimes moms can be too much about mommydom. When I first thought of doing this site it was because I wanted to touch on all of the mom brain thoughts that ping through our minds, not just the baby advice type stuff. I’ve been so heartened by the people who visit Cool Mom, ’cause they seem to have that little edge that I knew was out there and that wasn’t represented in the big childcare sites. So, this is about the what a drag it is when you don’t find the edge in real life.

Antibiotics = Waterboarding

Vivien got an ear infection, and she so hates the medicine that it is torture to get her to take it. Right now, I’m playing chicken and allowing her dad to do it. I hear her screams. Well, it does taste like crap. But it’s hard to explain to a little kid that you have to finish a whole round of the junk.

Pre-root canal meds
Creative Commons License photo credit: vieux bandit

Mixed in milk… didn’t work. Put it in yogurt… didn’t work. Just jam it in with a juice chaser, but she is screaming the whole time. Is this how it is at Gitmo?

Divorcing Friends

Don’t get me wrong, some people should get divorced. When my dad moved out, my sadness was tinged with a great relief! But my knee-jerk reaction to hearing that people with children are divorcing is “DON’T!” I can get kind of Dr. Laura about it. So in this video are a couple of issues in regards to divorce that have hit me recently.

Home Wreckers

Okay, don’t worry just because this is my second vlog in a row talking about issues in marriage don’t think it’s a cry for help! This comes out of the general knowledge that being a mom doesn’t always make me the sweetest partner.

But it also stems from me hearing friends and others, talk about faulty reasoning behind deciding to have a child.

Happy Manners Day!

Just because I do not always have them, I do love good manners.  I think a little social order is a good thing. In San Francisco, where I’ve never met more men who will NOT open the door for a woman–even when on a date–could use a little manner review.  And of course, I am sure it comes as no surprise most people’s traffic manners are abysmal.

Well, lets start with some kiddie manners.  At Beverly Hills Manners there is a great survey to take.  Here is a sample question.

We live in a time where bad manners are running rampant. People are offending others without care. Here’s an opportunity to select your biggest manners pet peeve:

People who show up late without apologizing

People who fiddle with their cell phones and Blackberry’s during dinner

People who insist on using foul language

People who talk with their mouth full

People who do not respond to emails

People who cut in line

I chose “People who cut in line” which are yours?

Kiddie Parties

Okay, let’s sort out this whole kiddie party thing, shall we?  Does anyone remember having big gift bags when they were kids? I think it’s a spillover from celebrity gifting suites for award shows. If kids gift bags get any bigger we are going to have to pay taxes on them.

Have you ever gotten invited to a big kiddie party, where you don’t know any adults accept the host? Torture. I’ve had to pass on a fair bit of kiddie of parties because they are smack in the middle of naptime, and it’s just not worth it. I went to one that was great and it was great, partly because it wasn’t too big. I actually could sit. There is nothing worse than having nowhere to sit.

What are the highs and lows?