And You Thought Your Divorce Was Bad?

Nothing like having a newborn to remind me of how freaking hard it would be to be a single mom. Even when my husband bugs, I would be hard-pressed to cut him loose just so I can say, “Can you get me a glass of water?” while I am nursing. Seriously, he’d probably have hit me across the mouth before I’d want to go it alone. I don’t have that much energy. ¬†Unless I had gobs of money for the round the clock help… then unmarried woman here I come!

Here’s a wacky tale of an obnoxious divorce.

What Can We Learn from Christie Brinkley’s Divorce Trial?

1. First and foremost: Can that lady rock a crisp white shirt or what? Loved the shots of her striding into the Long Island courthouse wearing a white shirt tucked into a belted pencil skirt. It said “class,” it said, “I know, I can’t believe he cheated on me either.” Now, most days I can’t tuck in a shirt without¬†looking like Ed Grimley, but yesterday at my daughter’s preschool, one well-dressed mom had a crisp white shirt with darts that provided shape, but did not need to be tucked in. I am obsessed and now must find it and buy it.

Christie Brinkley Divorce Trial

2. Paying off an 18-year-old to keep quiet is probably a waste of money.

3. All men love porn, but when they masturbate to strangers online, perhaps that’s a bridge too far.

4. Poor kids. I would fault Miss C for asking the media to be allowed into the trial, except it seems the strategy worked. Peter Beard didn’t want any more dirty laundry aired, so he settled.

5. If you have supermodel wealth, get a pre-nup and don’t marry in a community-property state. She did both. NY is not a community-property state. California is. If they had married in California, Beard could have bedded the teenager, a cat, and the family cow and still have been entitled to half of whatever she made/bought while they were married. Can’t believe she got rid of him for only 2.1 mil.

6. She may be blonde, but she’s not dumb. She owns 18 properties in the Hamptons! That’s a lot of tomatoes.

7. Looks ain’t everything. They looked so good together, but it goes back to one of my life philosophies: Don’t marry the Ken doll, marry a dork.

8. I can’t get “Uptown Girl” out of my head.