I was getting mic’d at work (the process of having a sound person attach a microphone to me), when I spied “Hogan Knows Best,” the reality show was playing on one of the TV’s in the studio. With over processed hair Brooke Hogan was heavily French kissing with some young blond boy who looked shorter and younger than her.  Anyway, it was gross.

Then there are the dark haired Kardashians (“Keeping Up With The Kardashians”). The family seems to be all hoochied up, and could Bruce Jenner have done more plastic surgery to his face?

So here is what I was wondering, “what’s with watching trashy people be trashy?” I can kind of get it when it was someone really famous, like Ozzy Osbourne, but who are these people? Talk about shows I want my daughter never to see.  I wouldn’t let her have a play-date at their house, why would I want her to watch them on TV?

Here are some of the things all of these shows have in common:

1) Contemporary architecture and furnishings– You will never see a reality show in an Arts and Crafts or Spanish Revival.  From the Bachelor on down they are always Mc-Mansions with no taste.

2) Calabasas– It’s the Lourdes of reality TV. For those of you not from LA, Calabasas is a nouveau riche paradise. White people commute long distances for their large new tract homes, “good schools,” and cookie cutter upscale shopping centers. The devil collects souls at the Starbucks.

3) People I don’t care about

4) Editing, Editing, Editing– I’ve hosted a few reality shows (“playing it straight,” “Perfect Partner”), the show is all made in the editing room. You can give someone “conflict” with one slow motion stare and the right music. It is not a myth, producers do coach people what to say in the interviews. It goes something like this, “So, would you say it made you mad when Clare walked in late to the party? Okay, put that in your own words.” Is this reality, I ask?

5) The tears are real– When contestants are eliminated and people cry it’s for real. I cried when hosting. Because you are lab rats, separated from your world and your only “friends” are the other people on the show, so people do get genuinely upset. I have stayed friends with people who were on my shows. So that’s legit.