Look of the Zeros

We are not only closing a year but a DECADE. And what a decade it was. Personally, it’s when I hung up my single skates and totally embraced a new life. Children, step-children, wife, blogger.

In terms of our country in ’01 we experienced the worst terrorist attack in US history, which took over 3,000 lives. And our response to this was entering two wars, spending hundreds of billions of dollars while vital services and schools go begging, and the loss of about 4,500 (went to a few websites to get numbers, but not sure how current) US soldiers’ lives. Wow, we sure showed them.

The latter can make me so depressed and/or enraged that I’d like to survey a different, less critical part of our past decade: fashion. On my show “The Fashion Team” we will be talking about hits and misses, so I had to do a little red carpet review ( how airs Sunday 20th at 7pm on TV Guide).

I wanted to ask you: What were the looks of the zeros? Not red carpet looks, but “normal folk” looks. I know it’s a little early to have perspective, but let’s make a stab at it. The ’80s: big hair, shoulder pads, unconstructed blazers. The ’90s: Melrose Place style, short skirts, vest, not heavy on adornment, Jennifer Aniston hair. Zeros: Uggs, return of leggings, bubble skirts, layered t-shirts. That was new one for ’00s. The long sleeve shirt showing untucked beneath another shirt and the mainstreaming of the flip-flop. That became more acceptable to wear in fair weather. The water bottle as not only an accessory but a borderline life support for some. Imagine we use to just wing it with water!

So, brainstorm, what looks jump out for you as being characteristic of the zeros?

Headbands

The irony here is that I critique fashion on my TV show and in Star magazine. What works when people play dress up and are thin or have stylist is not hard. But to achieve a nice look when you still have a spare tire from childbirth and are in Momcognito, now that’s harder.

Further irony, I’m shortly going to help the gal who won the Momversation makeover pick out her winnings at Target. Those who can’t do teach…

Ugly Betty

The Fashion Team has been having lots of themes lately. Michael Jackson style: I wore a Thriller-like jacket. The Emmy round up show: all good red carpet dish. And this weekend it’s Ugly Betty. The TV Guide Network will be running the encore shows when the new season starts in a couple of weeks.

Ugly Betty is one of my favorite shows and a bout a year and a half ago we had Vanessa Williams on as a guest. I loved her! So, for this show, I channeled my inner Wilhelmina (her sharp-tongued diva), and my extremely good-natured co-host Lawrence Zarian was dressed as her Boy Friday Mark. I really enjoyed this. It was the most acting I’ve done in years (not personifying, which is what hosting is).

My outfit is not my usual garb, but quite fun. Why do i not embrace the belt? It really helped with my posture, and the whole ensemble made me power hungry and wanting to hire and fire and make people fetch.

Anya Sarre, fashion reporter for ET and The Insider was a guest. Nice girl.

When the show was over, I got in my A-line tent dress and went home.

Distract Him While I Run to the Trash Bin

When I met my husband I could see he was a fixer upper. That doesn’t bother him when I say that. He was like that adorable 1930’s Spanish home with great bones, but someone did a bad stucco job, and the garden was overgrown. But you can see that with a little TLC it could be great. No foundation work needed.

After I ordered him to get a gay man to cut his hair, made him shave, and had him buy a pair of cute glasses, the James Whitmore look lifted, and there was handsome guy. That took a few days. I work fast when I want something. He was mid-divorce, so I think he liked having someone take an interest. He even let me purge his closet.

Not just once… where I found many relics from the ’80’s. No Thriller Jackets, but yes, Hammer pants.

I went into the closet again with two of the most studly gay men handy. They picked away another layer. Then with a visit to Target and J Crew, my gay stylist friend outfitted him with some new duds.

Now, it’s years later and I am wondering, why, oh why are these still in his drawer?

We were on our way to Yosemite, and he realized he forgot his swim trunks. So we popped into a grocery store in Oakhurst and bought these. The long board shorts dangling from his very white legs.

He thinks they are funny.

I’m not laughing. Quick, distract him… I have to get them out of the house before they can embarrass further!

What item are you overdue in purging?

Momversation: What Does a Mom Look Like?

I think this subject could be its own site. Post a picture and ask on a scale of 1 to 10 “do I look like a mom?”

I think most days I’d be an 8 or 9. But that rare moment when I get dolled up my number would go down… which is what I want. I would rather be a MILF. I feel very un-MILF like (well, except I know most guys don’t care if you are super hot, they just want super willing). I am lucky that one of my jobs is having professionals make me look a couple of times a month for “The Fashion Team” on TV guide Channel. That is like therapy. I remember, hey I use to be a frosty piece of…

This episode started out being a question of whether it was appropriate for mothers to have tattoos, and it evolved from there.

So do you look like a mom?  I’m curious since I’ve seen so few of you!

Celeb Beauty Moment with Jane Kaczmarek

On the Fashion Team, we get various guests. Most are nice people. But every once in a while we get one (and by we I mean me and my co-host Lawrence Zarian) we hope puts us in their pocket and takes us home. That’s how we felt about Jane Kaczmarek: candid, witty, warm. She was talking about advice her mother gave her when we were taping, and it was funny and right on, so I asked her to share some of this grand dame’s sage words with our Cool Mom viewers as well.

Rough Red Carpet

No, not the tale of me as a lonely mom… but as a reporter on a red carpet. I was covering “Valentino: The Last Emperor” at the LA County Museum of Art for my TV guide network show, “The Fashion Team.” It was a Who’s Who of who didn’t talk to me… or most of the press. Nancy Reagan, Gwyneth Paltrow, Anne Hathaway (a couple people nabbed her), Rachel Zoe, Tom Ford. (Who, I might brag, I met once, and he told me I had great legs and that I had worn the perfect shoe that night. The shoe was a Sonya Rykyel) It was one of the harder red carpets I have worked. It wasn’t the biggest event but still not a lot of press avail, as we say. In general, working a red carpet is miserable for both sides of the carpet, but far worse for the press.

Here is how it goes: I arrive early and join a producer, cameraman, and sound man. We get in position, which in this case meant being sandwiched between InStyle magagazine and some German reporter. Normal, no prob. But then the stars were few and far between. And normally a PR person comes up to you and says, “Would you like to speak to ___ ?” That way if you say “no,” the star is not offended. But the only rep who was working was for the director of the movie and while he was literate and gave good sound bite, he wasn’t my first pic for my fashion-oriented show.

Part of the problem was being after InStyle. I always wondered how they get those round-up pages in their mag. You know, like “What’s in your medicine cabinet?”  Did they really call up Blair Underwood to ask him that? And it’s a bunch of stars. Well, it turns out, one reporter grabs a celeb and banks enough questions for 6 months worth of issues. By the time it was my turn, the celeb was pooped and moved on.

I was snubbed by Janice Dickinson. What?? Janice who loves press. Janice who is pulled and stretched to the nth. Janice who claims to be the first ever supermodel (not sure about that one). Janice who had a Tyra rip-off model search reality show. She wouldn’t talk? I’ve interviewed her before; she is usually hoppin’ for press. But not tonight. It reminded me of years ago at my first red carpet when I was snubbed by Tom Arnold at the “Titanic” premiere. You don’t know what humble means till you yell in vain “Tom, Tom, Tom Arnold!” as he speeds by. To be blown off by Gwyneth Paltrow I get, but Tom Arnold and now Janice Dickinson?

Who did talk to me? I got a tiny, uncharismatic sound bite from Nicky Hilton. Valentino spoke. But God love him, he doesn’t speak in sound bites but long chapters; don’t know how they will edit it. Joan Collins was lovely, and let me say, she looked great. She was wearing a long, narrow black skirt with a big slit with which she was flashing some fab senior gams. (My dad said if I could arrange a hook up, he was in). Rita Wilson (Mrs. Tom Hanks) was a delight in her Lanvin coat. She was ebullient and our favorite for sure. Very nice to the press.

Seeing all that haute couture and glamour blaze by me was probably a tad harder for me than normal as I am still wearing my maternity clothes.

Hot Mama

Here’s a Halloween costume I didn’t wear to take my daughter out trick-or-treating this year. I have a mommy friend, Mary, who is one of the owners of the famous “Trashy Lingere” store here in LA. It is a great store that makes wonderful, saucy outfits. I have a Snow White outfit from them that rocks – of course I got it when I was on “The X Show” on FX seven years ago, and it has a tight corset. So I won’t be wearing that for a while.

Pregnant Halloween Costume - Coolmom.com

I am a big believer that moms need to reconnect with their sexiness. It’s so easy to live your life in cotton drawstring pants (I’m wearing them right now). I did a shoot for the Fashion Team at Trashy and ended the segment with this naughty scout outfit. I want pregnant women not to complain, “I’m fat,” but to yell, “Look what a hot life-giver I am!!” You can buy this stuff online, ladies!

Or just think about sitting on Daniel Craig’s lap. Whatever works.