Friend Dating

You ever notice how old friends take more work than new friends? Often, old friends have accumulated baggage that we must contend with because now, we are in too deep. Or you made them when you were so young or needy you couldn’t screen them as sharply as you do newer friends.

It’s like the difference between dating my 20s and dating in my 30s.  In my 20s I put up with all kinds of nonsense. In my 30s at the first sign on annoyance, I was, “Get your crap and get out of here.”

Here is a thought on my present state of friendships.

Facebook Friends? Forget It!

Why do I keep getting roped into these social networking websites? LinkedIn, Facebook… I think I even flirted with Classmates.com. But who am I going to network with? Casting directors? They don’t hire hosts off websites. Friends? Don’t I already email them and talk about getting together, though we never do? Do I really need a site like Facebook to reinforce that we are essentially lonely people on a lonely planet? Guess I do.

On Momversation: Online Friends Vs. Real Friends

Here the blogger moms of Momversation discuss the new-world problem of real-life friends versus online friends. Do they have the same weight? Or is one more helpful than the other? How is it for you? Let me know here, or comment on the Momversation site.

Related Momversation Forums:

Home Wreckers

Okay, don’t worry just because this is my second vlog in a row talking about issues in marriage don’t think it’s a cry for help! This comes out of the general knowledge that being a mom doesn’t always make me the sweetest partner.

But it also stems from me hearing friends and others, talk about faulty reasoning behind deciding to have a child.

Single? Why Not?

This is kind of a vlog version of my “In Appreciation Of Non-Mom Friends

Don’t get all Jamie Lynn Spears on me single ladies and overly glamorize motherhood. Do those cute celeb moms talk about how it’s about 2 years before you can take a crap in private? No. It’s not for everyone and I’ll tell you why.

In Appreciation Of Non-Mom Friends

Yes, mom friends are great, but sometimes it’s great to hang with the childless set.

Let’s hear it for the non-mom friends.

Thank you for being available to go out for dinner.

Thank you for having time and disposable income.

Thank you for giving me a chance to not talk about kids.

Jess and I
Creative Commons License photo credit: sara.atkins

Thank you for still having casual sex and new romances and giving me all the details.

Thank you for the lousy internet-dating stories, reminding me how glad I am to be married.

Thank you for not being too exhausted to do anything.

Thank you for even letting me know there was a lecture, concert, exhibit, I should go to.

Thanks for still taking an interest in my kid when I do bring her up.

I can only look at so many pictures of dogs, but other than that, you’ve all been great friends.

Husbands

While I am taking aim at tag-along husbands in this one, the same could be said for good guy friends who want me to be best friends with their wives and I might not be feeling it. Although, if the two women in the relationship don’t vibe well, there probably is not much hanging out.

Take a gander and tell me if you agree.

Reaching Out, From My Bunker

In the May issue of Parenting magazine, the “My Biggest Challenge” column featured a mom who said her biggest challenge was keeping in touch with friends. Mine would be not eating bread, but friends is up there (hence my recent vlog, My Friends Hate Me).

Daphne Brogdon in a box

The magazine had three suggestions:

1) Start a toy/book clothes swap. Getting together will feel productive. My take: I don’t need a reason to get together with friends. I just need them to magically appear within 1/2 mile of me.

2) Share a two-minute snippet of your lives once a week or so; no need to find time for a long call. My take: Yes, with some people you can do that. There are a few, however, who are jaw-boners and make it hard to jump on and off.  Did they not hear the crying child in the background?

3) Stamp postcards, then fill them in when you have a moment. My take: Could I just email? I know getting mail is fun, but I’m not going to put “Been plagued by terrible vaginal itch” on a postcard.

I found that after 30 (even without kids) one has to institutionalize events in order to see friends or we will all sit on our couches alone at night, watching “Wife Swap.” That’s why I used to do game night every other week with my friends, and I still try to keep my monthly dinner club going.

Do other people see friends? ‘Cause I have a few I haven’t seen since my wedding, and I know it’s not all me. That they are hiding out, as well. Is that why Osama bin Laden is still in his cave? Maybe he’s overwhelmed by making plans, too.