I have decided to launch a new series on cool mom: Two Cents Tuesday. It’s all the things that swirl around in my head as I drive along or make breakfast, but can’t really work up a full lather about or a blog post. I’m modeling this on Herb Caen’s legendary column from the SF Chronicle …, sort of Andy Rooney, but I pluck my eyebrows. Really, Andy, all those years on TV and know one told you that you needed a weed wacker for those eyeballs?
I don’t really understand why everyone is so mad or disappointed with him. Everything he has done he pretty much said he would. I wasn’t happy about beefing up our money and humans to Afghanistan, but he never said he wouldn’t. All those big “Hope” and “you are the change you have been waiting for” stuff, I never took that literally or as a sign of a huge difference between him and any other mainstream Dem. It was all code words for “get rid of Bush and Cheney and their ilk”. At least that’s what I heard.
Okay, this needs some reframing. One side says, civil rights, the other says it’s a religious commitment that is saved for men and women only. Listen, here is what marriage is: a legal contract. Someone can put their own religious or emotional meaning on it, but when marriages break up there is a reason people call lawyers: because it’s a legal contract. ( In case you didn’t get that the first time.) So, when my friends, male and female, harp about what they have to pay their soon to be ex’s I always say, “well, you did sign a legal, binding agreement. You married someone in a community property state with no fault divorce, so it doesn’t matter if he/she makes your skin crawl, you have to pay.”
We don’t exclude gays or Mormon’s or Scientoligist or anyone from creating an LLC, or entering into business agreements, making a will so, why would marriage be any different? Sorry, yes on 8 er’s the train has left the station on this one. Ultimately, society and the law will allow gay people to marry.
Emails for money
Every day I get no less than 5 pleas for money. They are always poorly written. They sound like Balki from “Perfect Strangers”. Either there is an inheritance waiting for me. Or they they need to get money out of their country and they need help laundering it. I prefer the Viagra spam, at least it’s honest…well except for the claim that their penis will grow 3 inches longer. Who is answering these things? Because a bunch of Nigerians sit down and write them for some reason. Better to go call up QVC and unload some cash there. I’m guessing they prey on people who have little education and little grasp of English themselves. Isn’t there a way to stop these?
Example below, supposedly from a bank in England:
Infact I thank God very much for all the movement I made, every thing goes normally. As for our agreement with the DILOMAT COURIER SERVICE COMPANY UK they promised that your consignment will leave this Country any monment Next Week,But the Director of the DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICE COMPANY said that they need your contacts informations to able them meet up with you immediately they Company Diplomat Agent arrived to your Country.
Since when do bankers thank God? Sometimes I am tempted to return with red pencil like a teacher and correct all the mistakes. But, where do I begin? Besides, I have another email here waiting for my attention, something about horny ladies.