If You Can Eat, Eat With the Ones You Love

So, I think part of the reason Mother’s Day bugs is that I’m supposed to feel something on a certain day whether I do or not. You know, Christmas, Valentines, etc. Mother’s Day night, I was sipping wine in the backyard with my sister-in-law while my daughter ran around. (“Yeah, I’m watching you honey!”)

But last night, I took my kids to dinner with my mom and looking across the table at my mom holding Rex warmed my heart the way an eggs benedict and a corsage are suppose to do. I love sharing my children with her.

BTW, he was so good. He didn’t fuss at all, quietly fell asleep while she held him. Viv was on good restaurant behavior as well, save the crunch, crunch under her chair by a few too many tortilla chips dropped during dining.

That was very nice Mother’s Day gift. Going out to dinner with two small kids, and they were well behaved. Oh, and my mom paid!

Verbal Elder Abuse

Here’s a great piece I found in Tuesday’s New York Times about how damaging it can be to the elderly to be spoken down to by health care professionals. Now, I think health workers have a rough, tough job. But this is a pet peeve of mine from my own dad’s hospitalization.

My Parents on My Wedding Day

My Parents on My Wedding Day

It’s bad enough that the hospital workers, nurses, doctors, etc., yell at him when they speak. My dad has some problems, but his hearing is perfect, and I see my father recoiling. The demeaning language has consequences, and I’m glad to see it written about with some credibility.

I have my own anecdotes regarding poor behavior. A few years ago, my dad was in the hospital because he had gotten dizzy and a friend took him to the ER. Mistake number one. It is better to stay out of the hospital.

The staff at this particular hospital were not even on duty when I found my dad strapped to the hospital bed after a night or two of being there, his eyes wide-open and fearful. I said, “What the hell is going on?” The nurse said, “We had to strap your dad down. He is a bad boy.” I complained to the head nurse, who said, “Well, we had to – he was a bad boy.” The nurses used the term “bad boy” so many times I wanted to bitch-slap them.

Long story short, he wanted to leave, would get up, and they’d yell “bad boy” at him, which made him only more determined to leave. I complained to the doctor. I said they had given him medicine that was harming him, as was the treatment. The doctor didn’t think so. They gave medicine to him to “control” him. “He’s only calm if your family members are here.” So I said, “Then we aren’t leaving him.” My sister and I were present, took off the straps and called my mom and our other sister. I said that we had to stand watch and guard him while whatever they gave him passed.

And so we did (my dear mom taking the overnight shift). Within 24 hours, he was 100 percent back to his normal self. He didn’t need to be drugged or to be there at all – no one wants to be treated like a misbehaving child. This is especially true when that person is an older adult, frightened about where they are.

After that experience, we learned that if he goes into the hospital one of us has to go with him. Maybe we do not have to be there 24/7, but checking in as frequently as possible.

I’m going to be checking my own “sweetie” remarks today.

Like Father, Like Daughter

Since Vivien has co-starred in many of my vlogs (akin to my chosen profession as a TV host and performer) I thought it was only fair that she take a whirl in her dad’s world. Vivien loves visiting her dad at work and her oldest brother is studying to be a chef. So this birthday it was all about the kitchen.

My mom is good for a big present so I hunted for the best mini-kitchen I could find. The cutest are the kitchens from Pottery Barn Kids, but they cost more than my first car. Then there is the plastic molded variety. Good price but they lack some soul. So Aunt Mom, as she is called, was happy when I found this play kitchen from KidKraft.

This was a moment I was really glad I am not a single mom because it took Mark the better part of a day to assemble the kitchen. But it is so cute!  For me, the kitchen is too hot…

Outfit courtesy of my friend Melissa.

Free Time Poll

The strangest thing happened to me the other day: I had free time. My husband had taken care of Viv in the morning, so I was able to get work done. While she was at school, I got my exercise in. Then, later in the day, I dropped her at her grandma’s nearby. She loves her grandma and wanted some playtime with her.

Then I drove away, with about 90 minutes to kill. What to do? Go home and hang? Well, normally I would, but during her nap, I had managed to watch Hardball. Meet up with my hubby for some lovin’? Got that in at naptime, too. So what was left?

I always crave downtime, then I got some and I didn’t know what to do! I texted a friend, and she said, “Just go relax somewhere.” Hmm… just go relax somewhere?

What did I end up doing? I went to the bank, ate at a taco place, then shopped for Vivien’s birthday and for some of her friends who have upcoming birthday parties. My big treat was going into a bookstore, but I barely looked for me and made a beeline for the kids’ sections, where I bought Vivien books about being a big sister, not hitting, and potty training. And I got a hot chocolate.

So in this week’s poll, I want to know what you would have done: Continue reading