My dad…one year later

It’s been little over one hour since I looked at a computer and realized it’s exactly a year now that my father passed.  I was busy today.  Taped a few Hersay’s, met a friend who is going through a very hard time, ran to get a check so my checks didn’t bounce.  I was in a co worker’s office and she was going to show me a talking parrot video. I saw the time.
“I’m sorry,” I said, ” But, I have to have a nervous breakdown right now.”  I cried and my co worker was comforting.  I went down stairs and called my sister Cecily.  I felt like I was going to throw up.  The slightly crazy feeling of last year came back in a flash.
This year went fast.
We shared memories of my father ( as I did with my other sister in the morning).  I am so happy that tomorrow my family, my sister’s and my mom are going to camp near the ocean.  I really need to be with them.  My dad loved the ocean.  He wanted us to enjoy the sun, the ocean, to smile. It was so very important to him that we would have each other.
But, I do feel exhausted.  The grief drains me.
I just came across this picture from my wedding. ourwedding05 075

My dad kissing me moments after I was married.  Why haven’t I blown this up poster size?