My mind drifts as I make my kids sandwiches for their school lunch. I started off thinking I would make a little girl sandwich.
But, then I keep going. What if the girl then stuck her finger in an electrical socket?
Or, when she grows up, goes to college and parties a little hard. This would be her sleeping off a bender.
At least I did stop myself from making a sandwich that showed what that girl did that night and with what!
This falls right under the category of “Why didn’t I write this?” I felt the same way when I read the title of Chelsea Handler’s book, “My Horizontal Life.” (Although, then I read it and her horizontal life was filled with more boozes and lies than mine was, but great title.). Now, a title that fit’s with my mom life, “If These Boobs Could Talk.” As a committed breastfeeder for over 2 years I certainly could have come up with some humor to write down. But then there is that darn follow through thing! Well, these ladies did it, bless their heart.
Here is their top ten:
Top 10 Things Breastfeeding Boobs Would Say
1. Since when are we open 24 hours?
2. Get the soothing gel. Get it now.
3. Sir, this is a “Babies Only” zone.
4. Kid, how can you not see our nipples when they’re the size of paper plates?
5. Woo hoo! We’re spraying across the room!
6. Wow, we look spectacular!
7. Wait, now we look like old gym socks.
8. Hmmm, do we hear a baby crying somewh…and there’s the milk.
9. Hey, we don’t get paid enough to work this hard.
10. Oh great. A tooth.
This is the perfect gift for a new mom.
