Momversation: What Bugs You About Your Spouse?

I was just reading Modern Love in the NY Times Style section, a major favorite read of mine. In it, the woman recounts how she yells at her husband in public over some minor infraction, something that had built up over 20 years of marriage. As she collected herself, she realized what it must be like to be him. I think that is a great way to live, to see the world from their eyes. Unfortunately, in this vid, the moms and I once again go after the hubbies anyway. Hey, I can’t take the high road all the time… or maybe any of it.

And You Thought Your Divorce Was Bad?

Nothing like having a newborn to remind me of how freaking hard it would be to be a single mom. Even when my husband bugs, I would be hard-pressed to cut him loose just so I can say, “Can you get me a glass of water?” while I am nursing. Seriously, he’d probably have hit me across the mouth before I’d want to go it alone. I don’t have that much energy.  Unless I had gobs of money for the round the clock help… then unmarried woman here I come!

Here’s a wacky tale of an obnoxious divorce.

No Hubby at the OBGYN

This pregnancy has differed in so many ways from my first. For one thing, I thought it was my husband’s duty to go with me to nearly all doctor visits. Now, I’m like, “If you are busy it’s no big deal.” Or “Just come to the ultrasounds,” which makes me him be more like, “I wanna come!” Here is where I confess about my sweet husband bugging me at the doctors.

Second-Hand Husbands

Gal pals I know who obsess on having the “cutest” boy on their arms are often dissapointed if they marry him. I liked the hunks for a weekend to six weeks (back in the day). But for boyfriends, I gravitated to funny and smart.  

I also think there is something to getting a pre-used husband.  Yes, you have to suspend the fantasy that only you two were brought together to share love and make babies. Hard to imagine your husband a virgin when he comes with three kids, and there’s no thinking that he had stored away all his love, waiting only for you. And there is a strain to having to negotiate a blended family and ex-spouses.  

But, aren’t vintage t-shirts more comfortable than brand-new ones? Don’t your bed sheets feel a lot better after a few washings than when you took them out of the bag? I hate new sweatshirts. My favorite one is from college. Some things need to be worn down to fit.

Cool Mom Poll Recap: Husbands That Bug

Husbands That Bug Poll Results - Cool Mom

Well, shut my mouth and cover me with Jell-O! Here are the results of last week’s Cool Mom poll, Husbands That Bug (voting officially ended Thursday). Cool Mom visitors seem to be a randy lot. I thought there would be more of you who felt badgered on the bedroom issue. I hear it enough in my non-virtual life. It’s interesting that the age old equality among chores is the big vote-getter. I know in my upbringing, mowing the lawn seemed to be one of the only tasks Dad was expected to do.  

I do think housecleaning and laundry would be an issue in my home if I hadn’t figured out that paying someone else can help keep the peace. Particularly in our blended family. If I had been cleaning up after my husband and his sons when I had a new baby, I would have become a very disgruntled wife. As in, day-dreaming of divorce. So a pair of gals showed up once a week for a long time. I would get Viv down for her mid-morning nap and then ask them to clean one room first, and then I would go and collapse in whatever room that was. It cost less than marriage counseling or a lawyer. Then when I started working, we had to step up the schedule.  

Sometimes I hear friends say, “Well, our moms did it” – meaning no daycare, no housekeepers. I say, “Well, goody for you. I know I am NOT Mama Walton.” I came into the domestic scene with different expectations than some might have had in 1969.

Oh, and I thought “gross family” was a chuckle.  I’m not from the Kennedys or the Mountbattens myself, so I don’t believe in being overly close to relatives if they aren’t your same food group.

Cool Mom Poll: Husbands That Bug

Even the best, best husbands can set your teeth on edge sometimes – just like a roommate, but harder to evict. Most women will roll their eyes about their man once in a while. It’s always weird to me when a woman NEVER rags on her husband. Instead of thinking they have a perfect union, I think, “What is she hiding?”

It’s just human nature: our kids, our best friends, that fat guy who banged his car door into mine at Target – everyone bugs everyone at some point.

So, what is your chief beef with your partner (man or woman)? What is the one thing that bothers you a tad more than all the other annoyances?

Here are your choices… remember, you have until 5:00 pm, Thursday, October 16, 2008:


To view last week’s poll results, click here!

Sunday Styles

My husband has learned that there will be a wifely wrath if he dumps the New York Times Sunday Styles section before I have read it. I usually have to wait until bedtime to savor this tasty morsel. In the Vows section…all the engagements and weddings, I’m always curious about the ages of people. Do I think they are getting married to young, is it a May September thing? It’s funny I note that more than where they are from or their profession. Although, the happy couples profession and where they are originally from, does hold some interest.

Every week what is the thing you look forward to reading that you would throw a tantrum over if someone through out?

I just wanted to let you know, we will be taking a day off Monday for Labor Day. Don’t worry, we will be back up and running with new vlogs on Tuesday. Have a great weekend.

Home Wreckers

Okay, don’t worry just because this is my second vlog in a row talking about issues in marriage don’t think it’s a cry for help! This comes out of the general knowledge that being a mom doesn’t always make me the sweetest partner.

But it also stems from me hearing friends and others, talk about faulty reasoning behind deciding to have a child.