Do I have to vote with my vagina?

This was originally posted on Momocrats.com earlier this week.  I have touched on this subject on coolmom.com, but I think this was a more thoughtful exploration of the issue and bit less “bloggy”  for me at least. I added a couple of personal snap shots to this.  Thanks to Momocrats and Donna Schwartz Mills for having me on as a guest.  I’m also going to be a guest on the Momocrats podcast this Friday the 17th.  

Back in the ‘90’s when I was a budding young professional I got a call from EMILY’s List. Their pitch was they helped elect pro choice female candidates nationwide. Since as a child in the ‘70’s I participated in ERA rallies, had an account with the first Women’s Saving and Loan in West LA, wore my “Keep Abortion Legal” button in marches I participated in Junior High. I gave them money that day and continued to periodically give them money here and there over the last 15- 20 years.

But, I’m not going to any more.

When Hillary Clinton ran in ‘08 for President I was a lukewarm supporter until the media seemed to be positively howling with delight in her Iowa defeat. After her comeback in New Hampshire I was on board, even going to Texas to help work the caucus.

greueladFront side of Wendy Greuel campaign mailer, funded by EMILY’s List. View the ad in its entirety here.

Now in the Los Angeles Mayor’s race it has come down to two pro choice candidates. One was born with a penis. One was born with a vagina. The latter is getting support from EMILY’s List. Well, that is their mandate, so that makes sense. What doesn’t make sense to me is that they spent money, money that people like me gave them, to send out a mailer smearing the candidate with a penis.

All those years I gave money to EMILY’s List I assumed that my money went to NOT electing anti choice, anti woman conservative men. Some guy who pats the waitress on the behind, loves his guns and cuts funding to for day care.

Not sure why I assumed I was defeating this cartoon Archie Bunker. But, this mailer that EMILY’s List sent out against Eric Garcetti is such a comic. It depicts an attractive blonde women in a slinky dress getting out of a fancy car. “Not everyone in LA lives like this, but Eric Garcetti does,” it says.

Politically, this hate mail doesn’t jibe with the man I know at all. He is a pro choice feminist endorsed by NOW, who as a councilman put aftercare programs in all the schools in his district and unlike his female opponent says there should be no age barrier for getting Plan B. I know this doesn’t jibe with the guy I know personally. He has a Prius, never wears dresses and has brown hair with a little grey at the temples. The other night I was at his house while I and other volunteers phoned for his campaign. Eric came in tired after a day of campaigning. He went upstairs to put his little girl to bed. When he came back down he looked at the fridge for something to eat. I felt bad for him. He was pooped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were going to be here or I would have brought you some food from Mark.” I said. My husband is chef Mark Peel who first met Eric when his sister worked at my husband’s then bakery. Not a job of privilege, by they way.

“Oh, that’s okay” he smiled, sense of entitlement not be found. Tired, he sat down to answer his emails. A family friend started chopping onions in the kitchen. “I’ll make him something.” she said. What, no servants? 7 cars? Loot he collected from city services? He asked his friends about things in their life. Wait, Emily’s List said he is “in it for himself?”

Eric and my daughter Vivien. I cropped it so his daughter wouldn't show. (My policy I don't post pics of other people's kids.)

Besides being a mischaracterization of a friend, the mailer is divisive toward women. The attractive, slinky dressed lady is the “bad” one. The one who doesn’t take care of the citizens of LA. The other side is a picture of a slightly older lady holding a child. A mom or a nice looking baby sitter I assume. She is part of the verbiage of why Wendy Greuel is the better pick for mayor. Oh, that old saw. Sexual female is bad. Non sexual woman is good. That one takes care of the city.

I feel naive that I ever trusted EMILY’s List to do the right thing. Why couldn’t they have sent out a mailer with positive statements about the candidate with the vagina and not smear the candidate with the penis? Why should they waste their money on the LA Mayor’s race when women are systematically being denied access to reproductive freedom in Kansas and North Dakota? A candidate who isn’t pro-woman in LA would be run out of town on the speed train, whenever it’s built.

When I worked for Hillary was it partly because I wanted a women president? Absolutely. But, I also strongly believed she was the best, most qualified candidate. I went to Florida for Kerry in ‘04 as well. I work hard for people I believe in. I wasn’t going to hit the bricks for Kay Bailey Hutchison or Sarah Palin. Sometimes the candidate who was born with the penis is the best candidate. People speak of a Post Racial period, are we ready for a Post Sexual period? To paraphrase Martin Luther King Jr, I have a dream that my children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, or by their reproductive organs, but by the content of their character.

As a mother of a daughter and a son I have this dream.

 

Election day

Can we hold the election for a bit? I need just a little more time.  Not to make up my mind.  I know how I’m voting from President Obama to reforming three strikes in California. No, I need more time to marinate in the season. Elections have always been a big deal for me, but this year, not so much.

Here is My Obama, actor friend Ronnie Butler

I was pretty non plussed.  It’s been a bit of a challenging year, however there was NO WAY I would vote for Romney. The closing of Campanile has consumed my life for the last couple of months.  In 2004 I went to Florida to campaign for Kerry.  In ’08 I was in Texas for Hillary in the primaries,

In Austin in '08, Hillary is on the stage behind me.

then phone banking in California while pregnant with Rex.  I gave money a plenty.  This year I gave about $85. $35 was to win a dinner with Obama and Clooney (didn’t win) and the $50 was after Bill Clinton’s fantastic speech at the DNC got my panties in a bundle for the big dog.  The Dems email and call me about 20 times a day.  They have my vote, but not my attention.

Until now.  Campanile is closed.  I’m more relaxed.  I’m adjusting to the new normal. It took me a few days to notice how hard a hit Monster Storm Sandy was.  I’m checking back in! I want to watch political shows, as long as I don’t have to see Ann Coulter, I could even do some door to door in a swing state ( if it was one where they paid my way, which was offered for Nevada).  It’s like Obama said at the DNC, all along it was about us.  Or in this case me.  My life didn’t have time for this little presidential election until right now.  So, can we hold off?  I’m sure people in Ohio cannot get enough of those commercials! There are some happy ad sales people thanks to Citizens United.

Tuesday night I should be home by 5:30pm PST  ( after soccer practice) My remote is broken so I’m going to be burning calories, walking up to the TV and manually changing it between various news stations like it’s the late ’80’s.  I have some great olive oil mashed potatoes  my husband cooked, Brussel sprouts and a couple of steaks.  I’m going to pick up some Red, White ( no blue) wine tomorrow. My husband is going to be next me watching with wide eyes. It’s going to be close and for Supreme Court alone I sincerely hopes Obama is reelected.

Vivien at 3 in '08

About to go to school today.

In 2008 Campanile was the site of a blazing Election night dinner with big screens and happy Democrats hugging each other.  That night I thought our family was rich.  Within 5 weeks, life changed dramatically for us. So, am I better off than I was four years ago?  On paper, no, but in reality, yes.  The money I do have really does exist.  In the last few days I’ve spent more time with my husband than I have in a year or more.  It’s like a honeymoon, except instead of Tahiti we move boxes to storage units. Four years ago I didn’t have Rex.  There are minuses to be sure…I do miss hosting my TV show ( and the check) and my dad, global warming looks scarier every day. These are not things I can lay at Obama’s feet.

I love the excitement that an election year brings. Yes, it’s disruptive to some Facebook friends when you don’t agree with their political posts, ( I have to “hide” some people right now) but Vivien is learning a lot.  At school they are doing a mock election with fictional characters.  She is campaigning for TinTin.  “Please mommy, pinky swear that Tintin and Obama win.” I need more time to get this budding politico involved.  At her age I was going door to door for my dad’s campaigns.

I also need a little more time to decide about whether we should slap condoms on the porn stars of LA.  It’s Measure B.  Shouldn’t it be Measure P?

Note: so bummed I was fired up to vote first thing after I dropped the kids at school, but sadly, the moving has worked my back.  Mark was a champ and I need to ice up before I get to the polls.