Okay, I think I’m falling behind in being the perfect green mom. Oh, that’s right… No I remember; I’m trying to be. I get press releases sent to me all the time about how to be a more green parent. Of course I get press releases about airline promotions as well, so that’s not saying much.

I naturally gravitate to serving myself and my children foods made from things not found in a lab and not serving soda in their baby bottles. I recently had the carpets cleaned and got a service that said they used no chemicals (which is probably why some stains remained). But I can’t get all hard core about it. I get these books. Big thick books about green parenting. Let’s face it:

Most non-fiction books are flabby.

You can skip past the first few chapters and then some. And if I don’t finish a spy novel I bought at the airport, I know I am not getting past a title like, “Checklist for the nursery.” It reminds me of when I used to drive between SF and LA every week and I bought books on tape. One time, I decided to ditch the pot boilers and get something that I could learn from. I got one called something like, “Understanding the Stock Market.” After ten minutes, I almost drove off the road as my snoring jolted me awake (but we know how well I learned to spot a Ponzi scheme, so perhaps I gave up too early).

I can’t imagine after having put two kids to bed that I’d brush the day off my teeth and finally hunker down in my jammies to read one of these tomes. They are well meant. Probably have some good info, but dang it. They are too long.

And it’s like being vegan, which I also did for 3 months till someone dangled some red meat in front of me. I’m sure it is better for the planet and myself to be a vegan, but that would take so much planning, extra thought, and effort.

I recycle, OK? I have one car and one electric car, bona fide; is that enough? I usually walk to the market.

Have I bought the perfect sheets, bottles, and diapers?

That would be no.