Spouse underfoot?

When I did this video Mark was recuperating from surgery.  Now that he is consulting and catering he is home a lot more.  I guess I must adjusted to having my husband around more.  But, as the saying goes, I married you for life not for lunch.  Sometimes you need your space. If only so I can catch up on “The Good Wife”.

Right?

who knew?

Who Knew?

That if your husband decides to clean out the garage it would take him two weeks and still not be done?

Who Knew that when he leaves out old stereo equipment and the DVD’s and VHS of your career there would be a freak July rainstorm and he didn’t think to cover these things?

Who Knew?

That the 140 times you thought, “I have to get those VHS transferd” would have been time wasted because now they are probably ruined.

Who Knew?

That you would want to force your kids to watch those tapes because this morning your 4 year old said that unlike Handy Manny “mommy, you and I don’t have a job”.

Who Knew?

I would tell my son that I do work, but “that my main job is taking care of you and Vivien.” Who Knew that would come as a surprise to me as I said it.

Who Knew that my house would end of up looking like the Clampetts.

Mad dream

You know those dreams that seem so real they are hard to shake?  Last night I had one and I was going to clobber my husband in the morning, except that Rex’s body was half draped across his. Nice the boy protects his father.

I get up hours before Mark does so I had had coffee and breakfast and was able to calm down enough to tell him about my dream.

“We didn’t have any kids yet and you hadn’t lost your money yet. We had just gotten married and where staying a fancy hotel, but you also had an Asian girlfriend.”

Mark, ” I like where this dream is going.”

“No, it was a terrible dream, because on our first day of marriage you told me that tomorrow me and your young daughter-”

“Daughter?”

“Yeah, Oliver was a girl.”

“Named Oliva?”

Exasperated, “She didn’t have a name I was just going to have to mind her while spent a night with your Asian girlfriend.  I was fuming and you didn’t see anything wrong with it.”

“I have a lot of nerve.”

“Yes, you do.  I was bathed in expensive clothes and jewelery and then it occurred to me that I could leave you.  I didn’t have kids with you and I would leave you.  I walked in to the closet where you were and told you so.  You still didn’t get why I wasn’t okay with this arrangement and then I screamed, “who do you think I am ___ ____”  I screamed the name of a women my father had a very icky relationship with that adversely affected my family of origin.

“You were really angry.”  Mark said.

Then I let him have his first cup of coffee.

On the way to school Vivien asked if I had put the meatloaf I had made for dinner the night before in her lunch as she had asked.

“Oh, sweetie, daddy ate the last of it.  But, today is taco day!” normally a winner.  Not today.

“Waaa, I wanted the meatloaf!”  I had a brief thrill that she was so excited about my meatloaf.  But, she was now spiraling down a sensitive little girl path that meant dropping her off at school would not go smoothly.  I called Mark.

“You ate all of the meatloaf, right?”  He had.  The phone was on speaker so he could hear the sobs.  Yes, he had actually done something wrong for real. Well, eating dinner in his own home when he is hungry might not qualify, but it would have to do.

I assured her I would make the loaf of wonder again tonight.

As good as it is, I hope it doesn’t give me bad dreams.

My Civil War

Hey, thanks for bearing with me. Getting vids up a little late due to spring break. A friend said to me today, “You aren’t tan.”

I don’t tan. I don’t burn. I’m like an android. I get a tad rosey, and that’s it. Anyway, part of what’s fun about a family vacation is you all get to spend time together. No going off to work or school. Just us.

Once we are home everyone falls back into their same habits. And, well…

Look, no marriage is perfect…

I Never Developed My Wedding Pictures

We just passed my wedding anniversary so this is a timely video.

I’ve been married twice, but to the same man.

First we had a “shot gun” wedding as I was 6 months pregnant.  A really lovely ceremony in our living room. We threw it together in 5 days.  Mark’s friend who is a judge married us and we had about 10 people there. Family and two friends.  His restaurant catered a brunch.  In the afternoon we drove down to Palm Springs for our honeymoon. It was Perfect.  My mom said it was one of the best weddings she had ever been to.  I think the only one she liked more was my brother’s which had a total of 5 people attending. We had lovely photos and I put them in a book as I waited for my daughter to be born.

But, I couldn’t leave well enough alone.  When Vivien was a year we had a big, blow out 3 day long wedding redux in Palm Springs.  There was the “Daphne Open” golf tourney.  The “Mark croquet” morning.  You know the kind of thing one can do BEFORE a certain notable Ponzi scheme was found out.

I won’t kid you too, I looked good at the 2nd wedding.  I had lost my baby weight and then some.  The desert color made every one look like a movie star.  So, Why don’t I have ONE photo framed or in a book?

hmmmmm

Momversation: Is An Emotional Affair Cheating?

I’m starting to realize I’m the tart mom in the Momversation line up.  I’m the one bringing up issues related to sex.  Well, that’s how we all became mom’s right? (mom’s who adopted or had IV, be quiet, I’m on a roll). I mean just because we became mom’s doesn’t mean it never crosses our minds, right.

Oops, yeah I forgot, I have yapped about my diminished libido.  Oh well.

This Momversation launches from an essay in Redbook about having an emotional affair.  I think this would be a much easier affair to slide into.  When you cross the line would be hard to know.  As opposed to checking into the Ramada as “Mr and Mrs Jones” and taking your clothes which is a clear tip off… a line has been crossed.

Have you ever been up late writing messages on Facebook to some old college flame?

Do you look forward to emails from a male friend and rush to answer them?

Or is your emotional affair with the latest issues of Sunset Magazine ? ( that would be me)

Don’t Talk to Me, We’re Married

This video was one of those moments where I realized how I have changed over the years. Other than crows’ feet and various colors in my hair, I think, “Hey, I’m the same gal, right?” Nah. Now, I can keep a bit more to myself and I need a lot less validation. Which is good for anyone. But it’s especially good for my husband.

Cool Mom Poll Recap: Husbands That Bug

Husbands That Bug Poll Results - Cool Mom

Well, shut my mouth and cover me with Jell-O! Here are the results of last week’s Cool Mom poll, Husbands That Bug (voting officially ended Thursday). Cool Mom visitors seem to be a randy lot. I thought there would be more of you who felt badgered on the bedroom issue. I hear it enough in my non-virtual life. It’s interesting that the age old equality among chores is the big vote-getter. I know in my upbringing, mowing the lawn seemed to be one of the only tasks Dad was expected to do.  

I do think housecleaning and laundry would be an issue in my home if I hadn’t figured out that paying someone else can help keep the peace. Particularly in our blended family. If I had been cleaning up after my husband and his sons when I had a new baby, I would have become a very disgruntled wife. As in, day-dreaming of divorce. So a pair of gals showed up once a week for a long time. I would get Viv down for her mid-morning nap and then ask them to clean one room first, and then I would go and collapse in whatever room that was. It cost less than marriage counseling or a lawyer. Then when I started working, we had to step up the schedule.  

Sometimes I hear friends say, “Well, our moms did it” – meaning no daycare, no housekeepers. I say, “Well, goody for you. I know I am NOT Mama Walton.” I came into the domestic scene with different expectations than some might have had in 1969.

Oh, and I thought “gross family” was a chuckle.  I’m not from the Kennedys or the Mountbattens myself, so I don’t believe in being overly close to relatives if they aren’t your same food group.

Cool Mom Poll: Husbands That Bug

Even the best, best husbands can set your teeth on edge sometimes – just like a roommate, but harder to evict. Most women will roll their eyes about their man once in a while. It’s always weird to me when a woman NEVER rags on her husband. Instead of thinking they have a perfect union, I think, “What is she hiding?”

It’s just human nature: our kids, our best friends, that fat guy who banged his car door into mine at Target – everyone bugs everyone at some point.

So, what is your chief beef with your partner (man or woman)? What is the one thing that bothers you a tad more than all the other annoyances?

Here are your choices… remember, you have until 5:00 pm, Thursday, October 16, 2008:


To view last week’s poll results, click here!