Be aware, you are about to see a radical view of weddings here. I had my legal wedding in my living room, with 10 people. Fourteen months later, I had the big blowout variety, with 120 people. So I think that’s what started me thinking of this. That, and my own cynical attitude at others’ weddings. Tell me what you think.
So if you forgot, Monday’s poll question was, “If you were given 2 hours of absolute free time, what would you do?”
I’m glad I’m not the only one who, given the choice, would prefer to sit on her duff – the winning option, by a cheek.
Now, a close second was “Go to a cafe, like when I was single.” Theoretically, yes, this is what I would do. But, in reality, free time usually means I sit right down.
I feel like I should have qualified the options, on second thought. If I were already out of the house when I find free time, I wouldn’t run home and sit down. I would shop, exercise, or go to a cafe. But, if the free time appeared at home? Down I’d go.
Thirteen percent of you had other things on your agenda, like Attilla the Mum, who wrote, “Mani pedi time!!!!, with extra time in that awesome massage chair. Then I would indulge in a chocolate milkshake.”
Whatever you do with the free time, lucky you!
But 18% of you can’t get that sponge out of your hands. I used to be like that, but then once I realized I was more likely to get divorced if a professional didn’t periodically appear to clean. I gave it up (Mark wouldn’t divorce me, but once I had a baby, if he or my stepson left a dish in the sink, I became Mommy Dearest).
So, the house we recently moved into is the only house I have ever owned (I’ve had condos, and I still have one of those money pits, but that’s another story). It’s only the second place I’ve ever lived where I had a dining room. So I was really excited to create a grand, almost theatrical space. We eat in the kitchen or on the back porch most of the time, but I envisioned the dining room to be a place for special occasions, for adults to gather while the kids are out back.
Note the wallpaper: it’s from England, it was pricey, it took months to arrive. The china hutch is Heywood Wakefield, which I have collected for years (I found this piece for a good price on craigslist); inside it is my wedding china. My wedding china! Don’t I get a room that is befitting my wedding china? Doesn’t a woman who waited to get married get to have the dining room of her dreams?
Don’t get me wrong, some people should get divorced. When my dad moved out, my sadness was tinged with a great relief! But my knee-jerk reaction to hearing that people with children are divorcing is “DON’T!” I can get kind of Dr. Laura about it. So in this video are a couple of issues in regards to divorce that have hit me recently.
Okay, don’t worry just because this is my second vlog in a row talking about issues in marriage don’t think it’s a cry for help! This comes out of the general knowledge that being a mom doesn’t always make me the sweetest partner.
But it also stems from me hearing friends and others, talk about faulty reasoning behind deciding to have a child.
Isn’t funny how when movies and books and music depict romance they don’t cover the real particulars of relationships? For instance, who is more entitled to a day off from the kids, mom or dad?
Well, I have decided where Hollywood and literature have let us down, I will try to pick up the ball.
While I am taking aim at tag-along husbands in this one, the same could be said for good guy friends who want me to be best friends with their wives and I might not be feeling it. Although, if the two women in the relationship don’t vibe well, there probably is not much hanging out.
Take a gander and tell me if you agree.
My recent weekend away with Mark reminded me, oh, yeah, I can orgasm. ‘Cause frankly, as big a nympho as I used to be, my interest in sex definitely took a nosedive post child. In my rocking 20s, when I was fooling around and hearing middle-aged male co-workers grouse that their wives didn’t like to do it, I thought “Oh, that’s terrible, I’ll never be like that.” Ha ha.
One woman who thinks moms should still be getting it on has a saucy and funny site, Sex and the Sippy.
The look of the site is great, very playful, and under Tips, there is a great clip from a mag that says moms need to be practice selfishness in order to be sexual. I hear that. I think one of the reasons I enjoy sex in a hotel room so much more than at home (even if it’s a dive two miles away) is because I don’t have the mom ears up: “Is she crying? Does she need me?”
I think I need to put “masturbate” on the to-do list.
Well, the boogie weekend wound up being pretty fun. I reconnected with the man who claims to be my husband. We actually went out with adult friends both nights and DIDN’T TALK ABOUT KIDS. It was good that some of them don’t have children. I could feel my brain opening up. We bagged out of the Tales of the Cocktail for the weekend. I went to one seminar on Friday and yes, a seminar about booze can be really boring. Even when it’s about hooch, people, you need to involve the audience. They all sound like Ben Stein.
Since Mark works most nights, it was a treat to be out with him. I also enjoyed the heat because I could wear my new maxi dress. This is a trend I am partaking in. (I am a firm believer in picking and choosing your trends; Uggs and Crocs went on without me.) It’s also remarkably similar to the dress I wore when I was 6 (in the ’70s), the first time I went to New Orleans.
Honestly, the New Orleans I saw, French Quarter and Uptown, looked better than when I visited 10 years ago to eat nutria for the Dr. Dean Edell Show. Seemed like there were fewer drunks bugging this time, but back then I was usually walking alone. Our friends who live there had many Katrina horror stories, but they were glad to see tourism was up.
New Orleans is great but I did, however, take issue with the excessive air conditioning. It was hot out, but why the deep freeze indoors? Really uncomfortable. I met one lady who liked it. She said, “It’s an antidote to hot flashes!” My friend Beth came in from Nashville and she said you always need a cardigan in the South. And I was worried about humidity! Silly me.
Vivien was fine with my sister while I was gone, but definitely paid for it the day we came back (at the crack a– of dawn, ’cause I missed her). She was very clingy and needy and wanted to know where I was at all times. Poor baby. By night time she was better.
It was still worth it to go, which I have to remember the next time I resist a similar trip.
I hate uptight, prissy broads. Moms who can’t hang with their sexual side aren’t as much fun to hang out with as the ones that can. Nothing wrong with some PG-rated mind-candy for the mommies…