DILF

Anyone who knows me my credo is “I’m married, not dead.”  Yes, I’ve gone years in the most unattractive cargo like pants, stains on my shirt as my haggered face drops my kids off at school, having not YET had a shower.  But,  sometimes.. and more lately as my kids get older I remember THIS  ( touching my body) is MINE!!  I forgot about it.

So, whether it’s at a school function, at a park or a soccer game I’m not just thinking about my kids.

Sum recipes, sum changes

I keep thinking, well I USED to be on Food Network.  but, guess I’m still on cause my episode Sum Sum Summertime is on tomorrow.  It’s got some tasty stuff on it.  Chorizo sliders, chorizo slidersfish tacos… rock it!!  All recipes HERE

 

But, since I NOT filming new shows…right now, something else is cooking.. so to speak.  Me.

If this light was always on my I wouldn't have needed an eye job.  And by "need" I mean want.

If this light was always on my I wouldn’t have needed an eye job. And by “need” I mean want.

I’m laying low.. literally I am finally getting my long awaited eye job!  I’ve been wanting one for a long time and I’m not going to that BS of disappearing for two weeks and everyone says, “did you get bangs?  What’s different?”  I’ve been saving my acorns for this for a while and it’s a big middle-aged present to myself. But, I will not be laying low for long.  Oh, no.  I’m not hiding.  Just resting.

So, I’m feeling all Brian Wilson, on my back, on pain killers while my Chef husband hand feeds me home made pasta Carbonara ( for reals).  I’m feeling like maybe I’ll get my own pet sounds out of this.  Need to shut my eyes and rest, but soon enough I’ll show it all to you Fuchsia bruises and all!

As much as I hate when skinny celebs say “yes, I eat burritos and ice cream”, I’m not going lie about this.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all fish lips, change the planes of my face, just got a little “redundant skin” that has been bugging me  on my lids and a bit of “crepe” under.  I know gravity is not going to make better.   NO cheek implants, no over arched eyebrows.  But let’s say I did go all Mickey Rourke, whose to call it?  You know what, gender reassignment, tattoos, piercing, hair extension where is the limit?  Body as art, body as self-expression?  Or maybe just as simple as mom who recently discovered her own body, her own sexual self and is tossing out the granny gowns and doing something for herself.

 

To be continued…

 

Danger of Online Porn

I’m not sure why a porn company sent a mom blogger this press release.  I found it amusing in parts.  Congrats, District of Columbia, you are the biggest watchers of online porn!  Maybe you shouldn’t get state hood, you big pervs.

As I looked over the “data” it appears that “MILF” is the #3 most watched type of porn.  I really should just vlog topless, then maybe I would actually make some money off this thing.

What was DISTURBING was the number one most watched type of porn is “Teen”.  This brings up an issue a friend of mine who is a counselor told me recently.  That because of the internet young men are more messed sexually than ever.  They see so much porn at a young age that they expect their girlfriends to be freaky deaky.  The guys are desensitized to “vanilla” sex and intimacy.  She has women 18 to 20 crying saying their boyfriends expect them to behave like the online porn performers.

Oh, for the halcyon days of the peep show. When one had to make a little effort to consume porn.

My friend said the guys wake up before their parents and watch the porn, clear the browser so it goes unnoticed.

Will males always dig porn? Sure, yeah.  But, I would like to think of ways to restrict access for my kids so one day Rex isn’t making his girlfriend cry ( Vivien is never leaving my side). I want my kids to have healthy, loving relationships… when they are 39.

Top 5 Most Popular Categories of 2012:

  1. Teen
  2. Lesbian
  3. MILF
  4. Amateur
  5. Ebony

 

M.I.L.F.: Flattering or Degrading?

This could be called the “lost tape of Momversation”.  We shot it years ago.  I was about to give birth to Rex or recently had.  I was still in my big, old house and I was a tad heavier. Natch.  Our producer at the time was, still my good friend, Rob Morhaim. I tend to think of Momversation’s as the not as funny, more successful spin off of cool mom, but in this case I was able to have some fun with it.

This vid was shelved for a while.. think it might have too saucy.  But, now it is here and I am glad it was rescued from the vault.

How would you feel if someone called you a MILF?

Momversation: What Does a Mom Look Like?

I think this subject could be its own site. Post a picture and ask on a scale of 1 to 10 “do I look like a mom?”

I think most days I’d be an 8 or 9. But that rare moment when I get dolled up my number would go down… which is what I want. I would rather be a MILF. I feel very un-MILF like (well, except I know most guys don’t care if you are super hot, they just want super willing). I am lucky that one of my jobs is having professionals make me look a couple of times a month for “The Fashion Team” on TV guide Channel. That is like therapy. I remember, hey I use to be a frosty piece of…

This episode started out being a question of whether it was appropriate for mothers to have tattoos, and it evolved from there.

So do you look like a mom?  I’m curious since I’ve seen so few of you!