I’m So Flipping Tired…

Morning Rex needed to be extra cute today. Yes, he is such a blessing, but woof. Today was one to muscle through.

I have to fight writing the title of this blog in every blog post. Life was looking a tad rosier of late. I was only waking up once a night to nurse Rex. I could Ferberize him out of that as well, but I also do it for me so I don’t have porn star breasts in the morning and so I can savor these fleeting moments of babyhood. At 3 a.m., I miss the lil guy.

But last night all that Sprout food backfired. Rex woke up every 3 hours. Well, actually a tad more because sometimes I put a pillow over my head. But the guy had a genuine beef.¬† He was an overnight poop factory. So, not only did I need to get up and change him, but also try to keep his screams down to a minimum so as to not wake the whole household. (Mark’s on a grueling schedule at present so wanted to give him a break).

After I staggered into Vivien’s school with Rex strapped on I thought it was nap time for both of us. And by the way I took so long to walk through the school her teacher said, “Are you still here?” I slowly turned to her.

“I’m moving slow. I’m so tired.” Sadly anyone who approached me heard about my son’s BMs.

Of course HE WOULD NOT NAP. So plan B, which is throw him in the stroller. And I was so irked he wouldn’t nap that he’s lucky I didn’t literally throw him the stroller. I had some work later so I knew the only thing that would get me through a day like this without a nap was a protein heavy meal. Egg dish here I come. Yes, my friendly waitress also heard about the nocturnal happenings. I’m really boring.

And of course my brain is not working so well. This is probably a big part of mom brain.

This is probably a big part of mom brain. But don’t take my word for it, check out this item in the science section of the NY Times this week. See, that sleep debt cannot be easily erased. And I haven’t slept through the night in 8 and a half months, so it’s a wonder I’m walking upright.

Semi-revived, I thought how this is an ongoing theme in mothers’ lives. ¬†Sure, the baby stuff is hard on your sleep, but even later you have to get up early to get kids out the door, then maybe get yourself to your work. Or Susie is in the band and they need drivers for the big competition 200 miles away. And so on.

So, I want to start and ongoing thread.

I’M SO FLIPPING TIRED I COULD… ( I ALMOST DID OR I DID)

I would love for you all to post a comment to finish that sentence.

I’ll start it off… I’M SO FLIPPING TIRED I…

…put my daughter’s cereal this morning in my coffee cup.

…Asked my sister if my 8-year-old niece would like to nurse Rex. (I meant babysit, she and her mother babysit. Sheesh.)

…When Rex wouldn’t nap I called him the F word. (I didn’t scream it).

If you are more rested now, maybe you can remember the super sleepy days and share a FLIPPING tired memory.

Like “I’m so flipping tired, I tried to order pizza on my binoculars.”

The Opposite of Momnesia

Hey, I know something that Hillary can take on for me at 3am, my over anxious brain. Despite whatever else I need to get to, the primal “what do the kids need now?” part is buzzing. Men will do the right thing if given a minute or kindly reminded (“Of course she said she’s not hungry she’s 18 months. It’s the same for me, I may say I don’t need a chemical peel, but look at me!”), but it’s not the forepart of their brain. This must be why they can still sleep like the proverbial baby.

A very real part of the mom brain is that rest is harder to come by. After a baby, one is physically more tired, but less able to rest. Hence the addition of bags around the eyes. So, while there is such a condition of Momnesia, I say its the opposite of momnesia that has me up with the weight of the world is on my shoulders. What my sister Carole calls “life in review.” Because why not worry about everything in the world when you are least able to effect change?