When your child makes you realize you are as dumb as dirt

He, he, this cracks me up.. I’m humbled all the time being a mom, but never more then when my kids ask me questions that I cannot answer.  Have you been there?  I’m sure you have.  Vivien is now a 5th grader, but I know I’m not smarter than a 5th grader, I was falling behind years ago.  Combined with my spotty, progressive ’70’s education it’s a wonder I’m walking upright.

abused driver

I’m so glad I have been doing this blog since early ’08 or else I would remember NOTHING.  It keeps me honest.  The other day I was really unfair to my son.  He was pelting me with sticks, kicking my seat, shoes were flying into the front seat and I said,

“Vivien never did this!” My daughter smug, “yeah, Rex it’s dangerous to throw things at mommy while she is driving.”

Well, we were wrong. She did do it.  Here is the proof.  Why don’t I remember that?  Why do I think her behavior as a nine year old is how she was at 3?  Am I sexist against boys? Biased towards my daughter?  Am I just brain dead?

If only we had a Stunt Mom

Through blogging I’ve met some very cool woman.  One of my faves is Shannon Colleary. She is funny and writes a lot about how women’s body images and how our sense of self changes through the years.  We feel worse about ourselves when we are young and thin, and finally get some self acceptance when we have parts of our body start to jiggle .  And not in a cute way.  A crude summing up, but you know.  Well, Shannon’s writings frequently get picked up by Huffington Post and on one such occasion she included a video of mine.  It went viral and I said, who is this smart, funny woman who thinks I’m a funny, smart woman?  We had lunch and a friendship bloomed.  I asked if she would make a guest appearance in one of my videos.  She agreed and I came up with the idea of Stunt Mom.  The woman who appears who can do the work you don’t want to do.  It was all improvised and Shannon was spot on perfect.

What would you have your stunt mom do?

 

Movies for kids

When I don’t want my kids to watch anymore sassy, put down Disney shows I redirect them to a movie. I saw lots of films growing up that would be good for them, right? Maybe not. “Back to the Future” seems like a family film. Till you watch it and count the S bombs that get dropped. So does our youth cinema watching brain jibe with our older parent watching brain?

Is it because I was actually older when I watched the films?  Probably.  But, sensibilities can be different.  So which films that I thought would be good for kids were and which weren’t.

Which old chestnuts have you shown your kids?  Which laid an egg and which ones landed?

My favorite funny mom

Okay, when I did the cafe mom studios comedy show ( hit the previous words to see the playlist of the 5 that have posted so far)  end of last year all of the gals were funny.  BUT,  Vicki Barbolak won my heart.  My husband and I keep quoting her jokes. She was very sweet offstage and then brought the laughs on stage.  She won NIck’s “Funniest Mom” contest and for good reason.  Believe me, comics don’t LOVE other comics, and when I see lists of funny mom bloggers, I’m usually like, “eh, not so much”  But, Vicki is the real funny deal.  ENJOY.

Successful Toilet training!

Yes, you heard me right.  Here is how I did it.  ( sort of)  It really worked ( sort of)

I also bribed him with a doggie.  Lots him grunting on the john “mama, ( bearing down, then release) Can I have a doggie now?”

Ironically, once he was fully toilet trained he said he didn’t want a doggie.

Me:  Why not?

Rex: ” I don’t want to clean up their poo.”

See, no one does.