Butt really

We all gaze at our kids when they are little.  Their little noises, lips, legs. All so cute.  So when I saw Rex standing in the TV room with only his shirt on I did what any loving mom would do.  I kissed his butt.  “Oh, you are so cute, baby.”

happy times santa cruz boardwalk

happy times santa cruz boardwalk

“Mommy, I just went poo.”

“Oh”

“And you just kissed me butt!”

“Oh, well, do you need some help with that?” Realizing that he was standing just outside the open door of the bathroom.

“No.”  Oh, good I thought he has been listening to my lectures about how no one will wipe him in Kindgarten and he has to do it all himself.

“I’m not done yet.”

“Oh”. He kept getting less, and less cute and my actions seemed rash in retrospect.

New Moms, win stuff

 

 

"I'm just chillin in my mommy, oh yeah."

Chatted with a pediatrician the other day. Not our own, but Dr. Bhargava …..  She is the spokesperson for Web MD’s new pregnancy app. Which is available for free.

It was well timed as Rex was home sick. He had been throwing up for a couple of days, but no fever.  So, my first question was,  no point in calling a doctor, right?  Basically, the answer was yes, just keep him hydrated.  I told her I was having a “Black Smoke” day, NOTHING was getting done.  I was wiped out.  Then I moved beyond my immediate life

TIRED MOM BLOGGER: As a pediatrician you want to take care of kids, but you end up having to  treat the parents in a sense.  Is that a drag?

Dr Bhargava: No, they are key stake holders.  They have to be comfortable with the information they get.

ME: ( still digging for the parent dig) Is that difficult, because you wanted to help children and now you have to deal with these adults?

THE PERSON WITH WAY MORE EDUCATION THAN I:  I like talking to parents.  It’s team work.  I’m one of the team members. It’s a priviledge.

ME GETTING TO THE SELLING POINT: Now you have this app, which I would have loved when I was pregnant because I was going online all the time to check the size of the baby and check my experience as compared to other women.   It does feel like there are so many more things available to a pregnant woman, than just 4 years ago. Is pregnancy more popular right now, or what? Is there a hunger for information or to curate that information?

DR:  There is a hunger for information on a variety of health issues.  There is a lot of information coming at people and you have to be careful who you are getting it from.  You want it based on facts.  This is a great way to get this.  WEB MD updates there information regularly.

ME WHILE DRINKING MORE COFFEE: What’s one of the big missing component that pregnant women aren’t getting?

DR: ( she didn’t think anything was missing) One thing this helps with is to remember what to ask your doctor during your visits.  It also helps keep your memories of the pregnancy.  What was your craving, things like that.

WOMEN WHO STUDIED IMPROV: Since you are a working mom, what did you do on days you had to go in a practice medicine when you had been up with your child?  When you were having a black smoke day?

WOMEN WHO STUDIED MEDICINE: (laughed) I love the black smoke days.  I’m going to borrow that from you.  I’ve had so many of those.  I thought when my kids were over 3 I was over those sleepless nights, but as they get older you are up for different reasons.  Look, moms need to take care of themselves.  They are the center of households and they need to take the time to destress.

So that was the interview, no here is the giveaway!!  If you are a new parent, or know one.  Leave your name and I will randomly pick a name on Friday to get this new app and other great things to have when you have a baby.

1.     Swaddling blankets:  SwaddleDesign Ultimate Receiving Blanket

2.     Digital thermometer:  Vick’s Baby Rectal Thermometer

3.     Towel & Washcloth:  Aden & Anais La Mer Towel & Washcloth

4.     WebMD magazine most recent issue

5.     Other collateral from WebMD on pregnancy (Note: I don’t know what collateral they plan to send, hopefully not collateral damage)

Leave your name and if you win that’s a white smoke day!

 

Muesday

Wait, isn't it Museday?

As language evolves we sometimes need to nudge it to keep up with us.  Thus I propose a new word: Muesday.  Not a day to look for inspiration, but a day after a school or federal holiday where your Tuesday becomes a Monday.

This Museday had me behind the eight ball.  Vivien growled at me from her nightgown, “where is the Nutella mom?  You said you do the shopping on Monday.”

Yes, I started to answer, it is Monday. But, wait!!  Cut to sharp close up of my face in startled terror.  Oh, no it’s TUESDAY.

Everything gets backed up.  Right after drop off I ran to the store.  I actually had to tell myself when I remembered the calls and tasks for work related things I had to do, “just act like an adult, just bear down.”  I wanted it to be Fuesday.  That would mean the end of the week.

 

 

Working from home ( crock of s–t)

I’m EXHAUSTED from the month long wake and I’ll tell you about the last night of Campanile, but now I need a laugh.   Ironically, the latest episode from my collaboration with Cafe Mom Studios is about working from home.  For the time being at least this is something my husband will also be participating in!

Please watch, enjoy, and share.  I think this one is pretty darn good.

 

How to deal with parents you don’t like

IT’S FINALLY HERE!  I’ve gestated and now I’ve given birth to the funniest webisode I’ve ever done and the funniest video I’ve done since “Moms with Scarves.”   This is the first of 8 episodes with Cafe Mom Studios for the NEW series “How To Be a Mom”.  I’m really proud of it and it was so great to work with a creative team after shooting, editing, feeding all by myself all year.

PLEASE watch, Please SUBSCRIBE to cafemomstudios on youtube to see them all ( and so I can do more).

My friend Sarah Maizes ( “professional writer, amateur mom” lol) guest stars as all the annoying parents that cross my path. Per usual, I couldn’t have done this without my kids, Vivien and Rex!

ENJOY and let me know what you think.

 

Inappropriate kids gifts

Moms put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect.  Moms who feed their kids the right foods, get them to bed at the right time with few cartoons, that I do that, but you know?  We are always keeping track of what we are doing good or not as good.

So, let’s take a break from that for a minute shall we?  Sometimes the satiric mom needs to have her say. I should have also done some “inappropriate things to say to kids”  like:

“Are you getting enough sleep? You say you’re 6, but you are looking more like 9.”

“Nick Jonas is going to dump those brothers in a couple years.  I hope they are saving their money.”

Or “A man and a woman don’t have to love each other in order to make a baby.”