Interviewed by my daughter

If the Washington Post is still around when Vivien is an adult they should take note, the kids a born interviewer.   I only asked her, “would you interview me?”  Figuring that whatever she asked me would be cute/funny, i.e “mommy, where do unicorns sleep at night?”  ”What’s your favorite color?”  But, no, the kid went straight for the jugular.

That a girl!

Friend Dating

You ever notice how old friends take more work than new friends? Often, old friends have accumulated baggage that we must contend with because now, we are in too deep. Or you made them when you were so young or needy you couldn’t screen them as sharply as you do newer friends.

It’s like the difference between dating my 20s and dating in my 30s.  In my 20s I put up with all kinds of nonsense. In my 30s at the first sign on annoyance, I was, “Get your crap and get out of here.”

Here is a thought on my present state of friendships.

Momversation: What Does a Mom Look Like?

I think this subject could be its own site. Post a picture and ask on a scale of 1 to 10 “do I look like a mom?”

I think most days I’d be an 8 or 9. But that rare moment when I get dolled up my number would go down… which is what I want. I would rather be a MILF. I feel very un-MILF like (well, except I know most guys don’t care if you are super hot, they just want super willing). I am lucky that one of my jobs is having professionals make me look a couple of times a month for “The Fashion Team” on TV guide Channel. That is like therapy. I remember, hey I use to be a frosty piece of…

This episode started out being a question of whether it was appropriate for mothers to have tattoos, and it evolved from there.

So do you look like a mom?  I’m curious since I’ve seen so few of you!

Mother Inferiority Complex

Okay, now I don’t often feel in competition with moms. If I see a mom more patient than me, I give her credit for it. If I see a mom more crafty than me I say, “Gosh, I wish I did more art projects with my daughter.” But recently one mom really made me gulp. It’s my new friend Ellen who has FREAKISH AMOUNT OF MILK PRODUCTION.

This photo doesn’t do her milk supply justice. I was at her house, and she was about to move. She said, “I don’t know what we are going to do about my breast milk.” I was confused. She was moving very close by, and I thought, “Well, you throw it in a Coleman cooler with square of dry ice, and you are done.” Then she opened her freezer, and it was about 8 feet tall tower o’ milk. My eyes were saucers. Then she said:

“We have  a freezer in the garage that has the same amount.” What? She works all day 5 days a week and can pump at work. And boy does she pump. She has a lovely big and plump little 7 month old. His nanny says he takes in about 6 oz in a feeding. Woof. “I’m just finishing the December milk”

Now, I am no slacker in the breast feeding department. I nursed Viv for over two years. I have no problem getting milk for Rex, but I have maybe 4 to 12 bags of pumped in milk in the fridge AND the freezer at a given time. I suddenly felt about 2 inches tall in the mom department. I suddenly got how my friends who for one reason or another were not able to nurse their kids. Their milk didn’t come in; they had had breast reductions, whatever. I really think there is an innate confidence that comes with having milk for your baby. Like, yeah, I’m doing my job!

That night I dreamed of her milk. The next few days I practically was walking up to stranger, “You will not believe this woman’s milk supply.”  It’s a good thing she is a nice, modest person, or it could be annoying. You know, like your friend who always got A’s but didn’t brag about them?

Ellen said she was looking into donating the milk. Wonder if there is a tax deduction for that? ‘Cause for a mom who wants to get out of the house for a few hours, it’s as good as gold.

Too Much Mom

Okay people, here is another video I banked in anticipation of the phase I am in right now… mild road kill. It might be funny coming from a “mom blogger,” but sometimes moms can be too much about mommydom. When I first thought of doing this site it was because I wanted to touch on all of the mom brain thoughts that ping through our minds, not just the baby advice type stuff. I’ve been so heartened by the people who visit Cool Mom, ’cause they seem to have that little edge that I knew was out there and that wasn’t represented in the big childcare sites. So, this is about the what a drag it is when you don’t find the edge in real life.

Cool Mom Poll: October Recap

Click here to view this week’s poll!

How is this economic downturn affecting you?

The Votes

50% of you feel it’s more of a topic in the news that freaks you out. While 28% feel it is something people close to you are hit by, but you are okay. Only 22% are screaming Jiminy Cricket! Pack up the car and let’s ride with the Joad’s (ie. Grapes of wrath). I am directly affected.

If you could crawl in the box and be a co host/sidekick for any of these big time syndicated shows which show would it be and why?

The Votes

Twenty-two percent of you want to be Ellen’s sidekick because she is funny and hopefully will dance when you are with her. Fifteen percent of you chose Rachael Ray – I guess you can eat a lot of sammies. Nine percent went to the women of The View, convinced you will get a word in edgewise. Six percent are Oprah fans, the biggest of the big, convinced there IS room for someone else. Finally, 4% of you chose Dr. Phil, feeling confident he will let you give your opinion.

Photo: Warner Bros./Sheryl Neilds

Where I Stand

As for me, it’s one thing to know who your best friend is, another to know who your TV best friend is, or who you would want to co-host with. The big winner in our poll was Ellen. My guess is because she seems fun and has good, self-depreciating humor.

Since Ellen is a stand-up comedian, though, I think there is only room for one cook in that kitchen. Being a stand-up and knowing some far more established than myself, I know that stand-ups are not the world’s most generous performers. My pick would be “The View.” I love that they talk about topical issues at the top of the show, and when I’ve had gigs in NYC I’ve been pretty happy.

Photo: ABC/Steve Fenn

I have a little history at The View – of not being on it. Years ago, in the ’90s, I was doing a couple of shows for CNET in San Francisco which were on USA and Sci Fi Channel. One of the higher ups at Sci Fi told me The View had asked for tape on me and then said they liked me, but they needed a minority. Enter Lisa Ling. Then, a few years back when I was single in Santa Monica, I heard they were looking again. I called my agent. He said they only want to see people who are married, with or without kids, or at least engaged. I couldn’t have been less committed. I told the story to Dr. Dean, who practically shouted, “Why didn’t you call me? My son Adam is divorced with three kids, you could get married for show; it’s worth it for that gig.” Gee, should have thought of that. But, I probably would have been too liberal, ’cause they hired Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

Now, should The View come calling… I’m sure they will. It would be a bit more complicated with my West Coast entanglements. So, maybe Cool Mom will by my online “The View.” I don’t have the same luminaries dropping by, but at least I don’t have to share the couch.

Mom Politics

Moms are supposed to be our buddies, but they can also vibe us and bug us. When I was pregnant with Vivien I asked Mark, “What’s the worst part about being a parent?” since he already had three kids. I was sure he would say, lack of sleep, no privacy, things like that. He surprised me when he said, “Other parents.”