Bedtime Battles

Okay, I’m doing something wrong. I know I am. The last couple of nights it’s a freaking scene trying to get Vivien to sleep. I admit it does not bring out the best in me. I just want a little TV/reading time and then to go to sleep.

Just a few nights ago, she told me to beat it, and she went down peacefully all by herself. But the last two nights are indicative of what about 25% percent of my week is with her. I say, “last cartoon.” Then we go and book out picks, have some milk, brush teeth, a little talk or song, and sleep… except she is writhing around and doesn’t want to sleep, can’t sleep. I stay with her while she sleeps. I have since she was tiny. It bugs Mark, but I’m like, hey you aren’t home at bedtime most of the time anyway, so what do you care?

I can stay till she goes to sleep, that’s okay… when it’s a few minutes, but these nighttime battles are making me bonkers.

My neighbor said yesterday that her kids pass out at 7:30. Wow, that would be a dream. Her kids are a little older and no longer have a naptime at school. Okay, so I told Vivien, “You don’t have to nap at school” hoping she would be so pooped I’d be watching “Modern Family” all relaxed with a facial mask.

Mark looked horrified when I said “no nap.”

“But she will come home in a terrible mood.” Let’s try it, I said.

Sure enough.  After school Vivien, my sister Cecily and I all played Zingo till Vivien threw all the pieces down on the ground and rushed from the screaming, “You aren’t going to win, you aren’t going to win.”

Later, dinnertime went fine, last cartoon, fine. Reading books, teeth brushing, check and check. The lights when out.  And “Mommy I do not want to go to sleep.”


I said, fine, take your time, but I’m moving on. I didn’t say, “I’m tired of being your hostage.” Though I thought it. But she follows me out and says, “What should we do now mommy?”

Go to bed, that’s what we should do. Go to sleep. I remember some child development class saying stressing them out about bedtime is a bad idea, but now, I’M STRESSED.

Rex is looking perplexed, but now he see’s Vivien, so he is excited and he isn’t going down. Now I need to nurse him and get her down. And it’s 9:12 and I want to shut my door and watch TV by myself or take a bubble bath, or put a hobo sack over my solider and jump on a freight car.

My Kid’s Nap Is Exhausting Me

Maybe I’ve blown it. I lie down with my daughter for her naps and bedtime; I have to be out of the house for her to allow anyone else to do it. And even then, with babysitter, dad, aunt, grandma… it can be a struggle. I don’t mind doing it most of the time. I am ready to sack out at any given moment, so often it’s fine with me. But lately, I had three days running where she was not going to sleep.  

So I become mommie dearest. If I really can’t get her to nap, then she has to stay in her room for the “nap time” and I go to my room and either sleep – rare – or watch MSNBC.

Preschool Orientation

Well, first off, I look so chubby in this, it’s hard for me to watch. But beyond my jelly roll, this illustrates when I got a little too caught up in preschool and briefly forgot my responsibility as a mom. I taped this a few weeks ago, but thought it was better to run it as we are going through the transition of the start of preschool

Today is D-Day. I can stay a while, but then have to leave to go to work. I am having my sister and niece pick her up, which Vivien is excited about.  I just hope she doesn’t cry when I leave.  Ugh.

My Friends Hate Me

I love the “it takes a village” idea. It’s the way to go. But, sadly my village is just too spread out for me. No wonder there are moms who get depressed or start drinking – it can be isolating. In fact when I was pregnant, my number one fear of being a mom was that I would be home at night with a tiny person who I couldn’t banter with and only the glow of a TV set to keep me warm. In a nutshell, that I would be an isolated woman. Little did I know one day I would start to embrace this.

Travel You Pay For

Not in the money sense but in the exhaustion, dirty house, cranky child way.

We got back to LA from NYC late last night. God, was I glad to leave. Love NYC, but when the urine on the street mixes with a heat wave, the smell fills your nostrils and makes you wonder why people pay so much in rent to live there. (More later on plane travel with a toddler. Oy vey.)

I got up early for work today and was looking forward to that nap with Vivien. Prior to her nap she was in a fit state I have rarely seen. As I was trying to deal with her, my stepson was watching TV and I thought, hmm, no wonder he rarely brings friends over here. You know when your kid is really wound up and you can’t figure out why? Except for the fact that her time clock is off? And there it is, yes, snot out of the nose; Viv has a little cold. It made me stay calmer. I didn’t lose my cool.

Finally got her to sleep and I drifted off to sleep for a few glorious minutes. Then the phone rang. Twice. I understand murder.