I Cry Uncle

I’ve been fighting the good fight and soldiering on as my mom would say, but I’m pooped.  Two kids, working, wifeager to my husband’s career, I can keep the balls in the air okay, but Rex waking up like he does is starting to CRACK ME. Crying babies in the night remind me of when I dated an alcoholic. At night is when is when he was his most belligerent, verbally abusive, showing erratic behavior, and then in the light of day he was full of life, smiles, buying me presents. Okay, Rex’s presents come wrapped in a diaper. But when he smiles at me and giggles, it’s like a lobster dinner.

Just called the pediatrician. I told her that after I had nursed him the in middle of last night, he would go down. I had to deal with Vivien having a bad dream and while I did that, Mark gave him a big, full bottle of breast milk. Rex then slept for almost 5 hours. Unheard of around here. So I asked the doctor, maybe I am not nursing enough for him? She said his weight and height are good, but babies go through growth spurts and to give him a bottle extra at night. I asked if I should throw in a little formula (the powder kind, not the pre-mixed stuff; he hates that) at bedtime. I think she said it’s okay, but honestly my memory ain’t what it use to be.

Just now he was fussing for nap time. I had been sucked clean, so I wrapped him up, pacifier, and vibey chair  (my go-to, sure-fire tool),  and he was crying. I did something I haven’t done… walked away. Let him cry. I could hear the chorus of “bad mother” in my head as I stayed away. And after 5 minutes… nothing. I crept in. He is asleep. All in the time it took me to write this.

So, time for Ferber at night? Any clues or suggestions on this time of life I would appreciate because I know I didn’t do much with Viv till she was 1. But then I wasn’t working… and I was able to hire some night-time help to ease the sleep deprivation problem.

Oh, the last picture is just Rex’s copious spit up… I gave up on dressing him by 12. He had gone through 4 outifits already.

Bracing for the New Baby

As my girth enlarges, I’m starting to get a tad bit of new-baby dread. Here’s what I’m thinking about:

1) Worrying that he is healthy. The mind, goes doesn’t it? I was lying in bed last night rubbing my belly, sending him good vibes and chants of “healthy, healthy.”

Big yawn
Creative Commons License photo credit: davef3138

2) Vaccinations. Going through the shots again! I learned with Vivien that I really had to sack up for those. And since I’m having a boy, I’m more freaked out about the whole autism/shot link.

3) Choking. I’m so in preschooler comfort-zone that I kind of forgot until last night about the choking thing. Mashing up food in tiny, tiny amounts, and spooning it in. I saw a little bracelet Viv was given on the floor last night, and since bending over is not my strong suit these days, I left it.  Then I thought, wait! Soon I will have to clear the decks of all little bits, as Junior will be jamming it all in his mouth.

4) C-section recovery. Particularly those first two hours, when I felt like I was sliding off the face of the earth. Pretty uncomfortable.  Not acute pain, but unpleasant. I had planned to have a vaginal delivery the first time, so I had a nice doula who held my hand and that really helped during the transition back to earth as my family ran around with excitement, which at that moment I could not share. When my sister had her C-section, she seemed so happy afterwards. Hmm, I missed that gene. Should I have the doula again? Does it make sense to have one just for two hours?

I’m sure other worries will come…

Pink Yappy Dog

You can’t always be Florence Nightingale. Sometimes you can’t make your kid feel better. Sometimes they get upset and you go to your inner swim up bar in your mind and check out. Even if it’s for 20 seconds. One mommy friend said to me, “They will take everything they can get out of you.” And she’s right. You do need limits sometimes. This video shows why sometimes I power the mom brain down.