Kiwi Problem

No, this isn’t about some New Zealander I had a fling with. That was years ago and it was no “problem” – wink, wink, nudge, nudge – if you know what I mean. This is a classic mom-tale.

Daphne with kiwis

It’s the end of a busy day, one in which I think I am getting a cold. The end of the week is busier for me because I work on my TV show on Thursdays and Fridays. I’ve got enough squared away so Viv and I can go to my sister’s and watch the last presidential debate. Well, so I can watch and she can play with her cousins.

Under the pile on the kitchen counter, I see a note from the school. My mother-in-law picked up Viv as she often does, God bless her, so I hadn’t seen the note. In honor of “F” week (each week, a new letter is featured), the class is making fruit salad. Vivien needs to bring – I hold my breath, hoping it’s something we have already – bananas? Grapes? Plums? Strawberries? Apples? Oranges?  I just went to Whole Foods; I have everything! Oh wait, no, I don’t – she is supposed to bring two to three kiwis. Certainly I have a day to accomplish this? No, by tomorrow morning. Grrrr.

I was lucky. Vivien’s babysitter was just about to leave, so I asked her to please go to the store and get me kiwis (I didn’t want to miss the debate). She did. So this morning, I got Viv and myself out the door on time (miracle), with no tears (second miracle). We walk into her classroom and DUH. I FORGOT THE DAMN KIWIS.

My husband is not working this morning, so I just farmed it out to him to go back to school. I’m afraid what else I will screw up!

Bully Kids

Can you control your anger when another kid is mean to your kid? Would you be able to control your anger if no one else was watching? Do you wish you could say, “Hey, saggy pants, you want to take this outside?” I wish I were an animator; I could do something funny with that.

The sounds in the background are a teacher leading some 5-year-olds through a class… I didn’t notice any bullies, though.

Hurting Your Kid, Part 2

When I accidentally harm my child, as I did in this tale, my self-esteem could not go lower. This is my second installment in what I hope is NOT an ongoing series.

Is my equilibrium off? As a result of this fall, my wrist still hurts, and typing is painful.  So, I’ve kept this short.

Mom Politics

Moms are supposed to be our buddies, but they can also vibe us and bug us. When I was pregnant with Vivien I asked Mark, “What’s the worst part about being a parent?” since he already had three kids. I was sure he would say, lack of sleep, no privacy, things like that. He surprised me when he said, “Other parents.”

Gross Bathrooms

Mama is looking pregnant now!

Here’s one of the hidden secrets of parenthood: Gross bathrooms. Kind of like how no one told me I was going to bleed for a week after delivery. Funny, when the glossy magazines are going on about the “celebrity baby boom,” blood and filth in public restrooms seems to be missing from the “I love being a mom” PR spin.

Food Mistakes

It’s always humbling when you realize as a parent you’ve screwed up. Hopefully, it’s something small and not bailing your kid out of jail. Reading a recent issue of the health section of the NY Times told me what I kind of already knew (and my mom kept telling me): that I shouldn’t ride Viv about eating food – any kind of food.

In the video, I say I’m going to link to a study about how picky eaters still get enough calories. I remembered it from my days with Dr. Dean Edell Radio Show. I couldn’t find it, so I emailed him. He said he no longer had it either, but he wrote me this: “The bottom line is, if kids don’t eat lunch at all, they make up for it at dinner… the daily caloric intake is very stable in kids but meal-to-meal is unstable… does that help?”

Take a listen to the other do’s and don’ts.

Blended Family

Hey stepparents! Some of you have mentioned that you’d like me to address our delicate family position a bit more. Well, here’s something to gnaw on.

This is how one aspect of the blended family affects our own children. It is important also to note how Vivien is improving my new haircut.

Stickers On The Window

I never wanted to be that mom. You know the one, the mom with her car covered in stickers? One or both of the backseat windows of my car is so laden with stickers that daylight no longer streams through. But in the interest of getting Vivien in the car for school without a fit, I let her bring in her Hello Kitty sticker book and today I caught her sticking four stickers on the back window of the car. Now, what do I do, give in and say, “Hehe, I’ve cut my hair and am considering a mini van”? I rarely leave my house, who am I fooling? Is it time to give into the dark side, OR do I rip off the stickers when she is not around? How much does it matter if my Cheerio wagon has one more mess in it?

So, my question for this week is…