Ballet Recital Part 2

If you remember, a while ago I showed you the sad, forlorn-looking photo of Vivien for her portrait preceding her ballet recital. She was, of course, a triumph in both of her recitals. But, I was conflicted over if I was being too pushy by dressing her up and wanting her to take a cute picture. I know she’ll love to see it 20 years from now. As will I, because I am sure she will never come to visit… Maybe she’ll want it for her senior page, right?

So, I brought her big brother Oliver to help me elicit a positive response. Look how well it turned out! Pushy mom triumphs once again.

Time Out For, Time Out’s? Survey Results Are In!

Okay, here are the results of the FIRST EVER COOL MOM.COM SURVEY/QUIZ. Although this one was a survey, there could be a quiz in the future. I instituted a quiz when I first took the helm of the Dr. Dean Edell show and I’ve been a sucker for them ever since.

Well, here are the results:

I would have loved more “Overrated And Lame” votes. Just goes to show there is no magic bullet. I partly did this because I can’t make up my mind. If I just threaten a time out, Viv doesn’t like it. She definitely doesn’t like it when I actually enforce a time out. After I have made the decision to give a time out I don’t a shift in behavior. If she is at that out of control stage 95% of the time it’s because she’s over tired and no “discipline” is going to help. My only hope is getting her to sack out. The other 5% of bad behavior is usually because I’ve been watching too much Olympics or Democratic convention and she’s had it with my neglect and lack of cartoons.

The 9% who say Time Outs are very effective I wonder what you are doing exactly, to make it work so well?

The other thing that bugs me about Time Outs is, when I was a kid it didn’t have that name. My mom just threw me in my room. So I rankle at what seems like an over precious phrase. I wasn’t able to track down who coined the term. Guess it works better than, “give me a minute before I lose my marbles.”

Day-Off Smackdown

Isn’t funny how when movies and books and music depict romance they don’t cover the real particulars of relationships? For instance, who is more entitled to a day off from the kids, mom or dad?

Well, I have decided where Hollywood and literature have let us down, I will try to pick up the ball.

No Solutions

All parents are looking for the magic bullet to ease their suffering, shut the kids up, not embarrassing ourselves in the process, get some sleep, etc, etc. But is there one? I think if we all realize we can control our children, not really, maybe we’ll (I mean me) get less agro. Of course I am trying to control Vivian a bit this week so I can sit and watch the convention. For a political junkie like me, the next two weeks are like Christmas.

Moving Target

Ah, the joys of parental abuse. Being climbed on, kicked in the shins, and my personal favorite having nails dug into my face is all normal stuff. But, what if it happens when you can’t discipline? Whatta you do?

The bottom line is a handheld cell phone is the only danger motorists face.

Single? Why Not?

This is kind of a vlog version of my “In Appreciation Of Non-Mom Friends

Don’t get all Jamie Lynn Spears on me single ladies and overly glamorize motherhood. Do those cute celeb moms talk about how it’s about 2 years before you can take a crap in private? No. It’s not for everyone and I’ll tell you why.

Airplane People

I can really get in a lather over people who complain about babies on airplanes. It’s a public place. Air travel is NOT a luxury these days. I am far more disturbed by the loudmouth who is YELLING their conversation into the phone before take off (there are no secrets we are just pretending not to hear you), or the loud talkers seated the row behind.

Also, no one feels worse about a crying baby than the parents who are trying, and trying everything to calm it down.

Years ago I was in a geology lecture in college, there was a woman with a baby in the class, and God love her for going on with her education while being a mom of a young one. She didn’t have any help caring for the child and I often saw her with a notebook and baby in hand. One day the baby was fussing, I noticed it, we all did, but we kept on with the lecture. It was a bit distracting finally she chose to get up with her child and walked out of the lecture hall. The professor, who was the sweetest guy, stopped his lecture and said to the class, “did she leave? Oh no, please someone go and get her. She needs to be in class, the baby wasn’t bothering me, was it bothering any of you? (No one was going to raise there hand to that),” “we were all babies once.”

That is the truth.

Goddamn

One of the things forced to go when you become a parent is your potty mouth. Aren’t you more aware of other people’s foul mouth?

Walking along the street or TV where the “F” word is flying. Sometimes I think, “hey, settle down.” Although, when I am in the company of adults only, I like to take the censor off my mouth and go gutter.

The kids really do pick up what you say, I found out the hard way.