Lollipop Tree

Here’s a mommy dilemma: when do you crash your kid’s sweet imagination, and when do you let it ride? Vivien has really enjoyed gardening with her dad. We have tomatoes, strawberries, herbs and lemons. When we planted the lemon trees, it gave Viv an idea of another kind of tree she wants.

I’m thinking of how to rig it…

Baby High Heels

Tarting up little girls has long been a pet peeve of mine. I get that some people don’t see the infant string bikini and such in the same way… but wake up! It’s the ho-ho-hoing of American girls. In this video, I take on another example: the baby high heels.

Time Out Quiz

Of all moms’ modern day nomenclature, one that is stated between parents as a given means of discipline is the “time out.” But, is it? The article I just linked here states that it is “very effective.” I am not so sure about “time outs.” I do use it when frustrated since society has pretty much agreed that flinging your kid across the room is a bad idea. But, I do find giving Vivien a countdown shapes her behavior up, even better. So what I do is something like this, “I am going to count to five and I expect you to be in your car seat…,1-2” She stops climbing through the car and gets in her seat knowing the if she doesn’t get in her car seat, that “mean voice” is coming.

So, here is my first ever mom quiz/survey.  Weigh in on this one.  And watch out, “Play-dates, the time for your reckoning,” is coming soon.

My Dark Places

I know it’s not good to dwell on the bad and sad, but sometimes my mom brain can’t help itself!

On the verge of getting sick the other night I was seized by the desire to watch an adult film. Not porn, but mature themed, the kind you can’t watch with your child in the room. So, Vivien was asleep and I watched “Gone Baby Gone.” It’s a very well made film, Directed by Ben Affleck. The movie has all the ingredients, great acting and all the good stuff, including a plot with lots of twists.  But, a central theme is children who are criminally mistreated (to put it politely). So, it comes as no surprise, that it gave me nightmares. In the middle of the night I had to climb into Vivien’s bed and hold her hand to reassure me. But, then I am worried about all the children in the world who are not looked after. My husband groaned the next day, “I knew you shouldn’t watch that movie.”

Todd Heisler/The New York Times

My friend’s mother is a foster mother. Every child my friend takes in has been severely sexually abused, often by both of their parents. This is unbelievable, right?  I can get so worried about these harmed children it makes my stomach hurt, yet I’m not sure what to do with this worry.  I’m not ready to be a foster mom myself.

WORRY #2

My other mom worry of the day was triggered when I glanced over my husband’s shoulder the other day while he was reading the paper and saw a story about a mom who discovered she had advanced cancer when delivering her daughter. She was a remarkable woman. She fought on until her daughter’s 2nd birthday. There was a photo of this mom hugging her daughter when she was an infant, and you could see that mother love intensity. You know she never wanted to leave her daughter. You can’t read this story without crying your eyes out. That is my second greatest fear in life.

Those are my dark places.

Mother Instinct

Okay, sit down for this one. I usually try to bang these vlogs out in under a minute, ’cause I know my attention span is pretty short. This one goes over 90 seconds – but it’s fast-paced! And it’s a triumphant mom story about how I learned, through my domestic odyssey, that we should not listen to others but follow our guts, our mom instinct, no matter how hare-brained or crack-pot it seems at the time. And ultimately, even when we are right, usually NO ONE will tell us we are, except ourselves.