here is a TBT. I was super pregnant with Rex. There are always some issues that bother us more than others… for me.. a wet towel on a rug (grr), kid who want go to sleep when you are beat (everyone) and then the good old pee on a brand new couch. It does remind me why I still get this couch steam cleaned every three months..
Clear Channel Outdoors are the worst kind of whores. No standards, or why else would they carry those foul billboards for “American Horror Story”? Does anyone involved with that show have children? Daughters? Because when I’m driving around town with my 8 year old girl and from the back seat I hear,
I didn’t point it out to her. When see stuff like this I hope my kids are busy punching each other or talking about farts. But, if they bring it up, we have to talk about it. It’s so gross and vile to women. 3 women have a Snake coming out of their mouths. No, that’s not sexual. ( roll of eyes), that’s not objectifying to women ( eyes roll other direction). Hey porn and smut and bloody horror shows and movies are all legal. Good for you now, knock yourself out, but kids who are strapped in the back of their parents cars and just staring out the window shouldn’t have to look at this stuff.
I can intellectually say why it’s disturbing. My daughter says so instinctively. I use to rail against the dismembered females bodies that that that stupid show about the plastic surgeons in Miami use to have. Wait, another F/X show! Granted years ago I had a good time when I hosted a show for F/X, before they decided to become the basic cable HBO. Our publicity photos was me and my co shots on a couch with bulldog. The bulldog just sat.
I say to my daughter, “I’m really sorry you have to see that Vivien. It’s immature. They want to shock people with icky imagery. I’m sorry I can’t make it go away.”
If we are never able to regulate billboards content this place is going to look like Pottersville.
All summer it boggles my mind. Little girls in bikini’s and one pieces.
I’m rolling up my big boy pants and wading into JUDGE LAKE. I don’t get the recklessness I see in the sunny months. Why am I often the only parent putting my kids in rash guard style swimwear?
In my lifetime we went from a country that worshipped the sun, let people smoke on planes, made it illegal to have kids sit in the front seat. Let alone on the arm rest like I use to, next to my groovy Ali McGraw looking mom in the 1970’s with her deep brown tan. YET, there is a great disconnect when I see kids at the beach and poolside. Their swimsuits make me look to see a dangling cigarette in the hands of their moms, to hear if people are calling grown black men, “boy”. The world changed, became more aware of cultural flaws and safety issues, subsequently we buckle our kids in a special seat in the back of the car, advanced civil rights, but knowing the dangers of the sun 99% of parents I see dress their little daughters like this when near a body of water.
I don’t get it
NOT to mention the odd sexualization of childhood these suits represent. I’ve long been bothered by little girls dressed as if they have developed bodies. Just looking at this from a health issue, parents are exposing their children to the sun at the worst times to do so. Sun exposure when we are under 25 is the most dangerous for our skin. Later, our goose is kind of cooked. A burn in childhood follows you for life. I had been stewing about this issue of unprotected kids in the sun and today an OP ED piece propelled me to write about it. It’s about the dangers of tanning bed by a doctor who had a scare.
The doctor advocates for warnings on tanning beds. where is the warning on little kids swimsuits?
The other day at a party for a friend of Rex’s a blonde boy was running around playing shirtless. I said something to his father and the father said something along the lines “It’s okay, he was by a lake last week.” I was confused. I think he was using that old myth about if you have a base tan you are protected. The little boy was obviously getting red.
When Vivien was a baby we were given a baby bikini. Barf. We couldn’t throw that out of the house fast enough. We know we have a dirty planet. As Woody Allen said in “Annie Hall”, “Everything our parents said was good for us is bad, the sun, milk, college.” We know melanoma is on the rise, PARENTS WHY DON’T YOU PROTECT YOUR KIDS IN THE SUN. I hear, “I slathered on the sunscreen.” Yes, that’s good, but c’mon it’s not as good as having material covering the body. I put on sunscreen on the exposed legs of my kids and they still get tan. They jump in the water, run around. DO you really keep reapplying every 30 minutes? I doubt it. Plus my son is wiggly and it’s hard to get as much on him as I would like. I have a long sleeved shirt for Rex sometimes, but I’ve been getting push back from Vivien for my Victorian ways because all of her friends are dressed like Kiddie Sports Illustrated. I’m firm. Sun is up, rash guard swimwear is on. She’s lucky I don’t throw her in a burka.
It’s fun to have your kids in cute clothes. That’s what dresses, and little ties and vests are for. Cover up your kids in the sun, humor me.
Is giving parental advice more tender than any other kind of advice? When Martin Luther King Jr. was told to slow down on integration and the civil rights of people of color, was that welcome advice? One can give advice and thankfully, one can always reject it.
What do you do ?
Hey, just in case we need to review this… Momversation.com is another site where mom bloggers send in videos to discuss certain topics in parenting. I am one of the panelists on Momversation. Today Alice from finslippy.com leads the discussion with “What is your worst parenting story?” Heather of www.dooce.com, one of the biggest mom sites out there, and I chime in.
The one bit I taped that I would add to this story (but gosh it can’t go on forever is this). We mostly address the trials of having young children, but from observing friends, cousins, and my husband, the worst parenting stories are with your older children who do things or make choices that are not good or productive for them and you cannot effect change. Lack of sleep and temper tantrums be damned, not being able to connect, reach, or alter what your child is doing on a life choice level, that would be the worst parenting moment.
The topic of OTHER PARENTS has been coming up more and more in my life. As our kids start to form their own friendships outside of our control it looms larger. How do you deal with OTHER PARENTS? And isn’t great when your kids friends also has parents that you like? Sigh, now that is love.
Imagine saying this… “Please don’t load the dishwasher; I’ll do it.”
At 5 a.m.: “No, don’t get up; I’ve got the baby, you sleep.”
These are the kind of things coming through my abnormally kind mouth the last 24 hours as Mark recuperates from his eye surgery. We went back to UCLA this morning at the doctor told him had he not had the surgery it would have been “catastrophic.” Yikes.
Happily Mark is not in any pain. It itches but not super bad. When the nurse took off the patch at the examination he said, “How does it look, honey?”
“You know that last scene in the original Rocky where he is screaming for Adrian? Like that.”
So he can’t leave the house for a week. He can move around, but no lifting, straining, bending over, gardening (there goes that herb garden I was looking forward to).
I was pretty freaked looking at his eye. Our vulnerability can hit us at times and make me shaky. Then you get over your fear and the other self takes over.
We had some nice, mellow moments at home today. Since he has to slow the pace down I said he better be careful ’cause without activity he could blimp up, and I’m not into being married to a big fattie.
He has been watching a lot of TV, and he did make some applesauce for Rex, which he loved. Ahhh.
A FEW HOURS LATER…
Okay, is he better yet?
Yes, he did coach me on how to make a sauce for the petrale sole I was making, but I am so used to him not being here. We just had a fight about the appropriate way to reprimand Vivien, or not at all… which was my vote. And Nosy Nellie decided to update my software thus causing me to lose things I had open on my computer.
I felt like a teenager in a sense saying, “Leave my stuff alone!!” He thinks if the software update thing is bouncing it means immediate action.
Okay, watching “Top Chef: Masters” finale with him was fun. He was really intense. We were both glad that Rick Bayless won. His food is incredible, and we personally really like him.
“I wish I could email him and congratulate him” Mark said.
“You can.” I said without thinking
“But I can’t read.” Oh, right.
I can do it for you. Group hug.
It’s the odd sock of our generation. You are looking for a little relief, and it’s in the form of a round, shiny object. Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but for a woman… a mom… needing a moment of peace, it’s a DVD.
On today’s Momversation, Rebecca from Girl’s Gone Child asks “Why do you care how I parent?” She really had some major buttinskies get in her face as a new mom, so I don’t blame her for being a little peeved. When should we give advice to other parents, or should we at all? And if someone is up in your stuff, how do you handle it?
I feel like my thankful/grateful discussions with Vivien are finally bearing fruit. She asked me today what I’m grateful for. The first few times I asked her, she’d say “NOTHING!” So, this video describes our first breakthrough.