Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

If you have little kids you might not have tackled this, but my step children are largely step adults, so I have had to straddle being candid and being a role model.

Years ago, attending one of my hippie schools, I was riding in a car with my best friend from 7th grade, her mom, two of her mom’s friends, and one of their kids. AS THEY PASSED AROUND A JOINT. I remember my friend’s mom, with total seriousness, asking me, “Does your mom allow you to get high?” Like it was watching a cartoon before bed. “Sure,” I said, wanting to look cool, and I took the joint from my friend. I had no idea what I was doing. But even then, I had the sneaking suspicion that this behavior was inappropriate for parents.

That friendship was short lived.

Children’s Chores

It threw me when I was getting to know my then-future husband and his then-10-year-old son that very little chores were required of the lad. Frankly, I was vaguely appalled, but I certainly wasn’t going to risk being an evil future stepmother by setting up a work-flow chart on the fridge.

Clean Dishes
Creative Commons License photo credit: noricum

A good guy friend of mine told me that when he turned 15, his mom cut him off from laundry services and told him to do it himself from now on. So I suggested at least this compromise to Mark. He said Oliver would figure it out when he is on his own, as an adult. Hmm, yeah, well, not my horse, not my ranch. But I made it clear I’m not cleaning up after someone old enough to do it themselves. Mark didn’t believe me when I said I was doing my laundry at five years old.

I think chores are not only considerate to others in the house, but key to creating a child who is not spoiled and has a good work ethic. This page has guidelines about children’s chores. One of them speaks of giving a child a reward. Uh, I don’t think so. Did John Boy get a reward? Or did he just help his Mama when she asked?

Guilty Pleasure: Super Nanny

Lately Vivien has started to call herself Super Vivien. By extension I am Super Mommy, which I love. Mark is Super Dad. It is empowering for everyone involved. She has gotten this moniker because one of the books I read her is SuperCat. A great story, about a SuperCat who helps little animal people (you know they are animals, but they have human qualities like in all children’s books and cartoons) find their blankies or… I don’t want to give away the ending.

If you are Super like Vivien or Super Nanny, I think it means you are powerful, self-assured and can fix any situation. I’m glad Vivien feels like that. I must not, or why else would I like Super Nanny?