Bomb Threat day

Well, here in Los Angeles us  public school folks have our kids home due to a bomb threat.  Mark and I were doing the “NOW, we really have to get out of bed now” chatter.  I was walking downstairs in my ugly, comfortable slippers and nightgown to make coffee when Rex yelled, “mommy, you have a call.”  He knows if he wakes up really early I’m so desperate to keep sleeping I will give him my phone and he gets screen time.

Who would be calling this early?  Oh, maybe my neighbor to see if we can take her son to school today.

No, a robo call from LAUSD saying school is closed because of a “credible threat”.  All this before coffee. Hey, what??  But, we are in a charter so does this apply to us?  A flurry of calls and texts.  Yes, it does.

I go to tell Vivien who didnt’ want to wake up. “no school today”  Yeah, she cheered from her pillow. The new snow day.

A mom sent an email out that she would be happy to take some kids if moms had to work.  I did the same.  Within an hour two were dropped at my door and my neighbor came down later with her son.  As we tried to get three first grade boys to do homework I thought, as I have thought many times, how do teachers do this?  Exhausting.

I think it’s all a bit creepy and maybe alarmist.  I really hope this is not the new normal.  I hope at worst we look back on this like we do the old ’50’s duck and cover videos. lausd the new duck and cover? Those seem funny not because we now longer have nuclear bombs, but because it seems so foolish to think hiding under a desk would save you.

Course last year  I did hide under a wood lectern when a gunman came into the building I was in.  So I know how terrifying it is to be involved in a shooting.  I bet the schools would have been okay, but I of kind don’t blame officials for being a bit jumpy.

Side note:  I’m doing much better with my pneumonia.. been a month and two days.  I am still deaf in one ear, and have a TB cough, but MUCH better.  Trying to take it easy so I don’t relapse, but I did go to a holiday ball I help put on at our women’s club and it was so fun to get dolled up and feel like a person again.. or at least out of my nightgown!

at dinner with one bf's and "second husband" Jasen

at dinner with one bf’s and “second husband” Jasen

 

brain draino

As I lie in bed.. and I’m not going to lie.. lying in bed for a month, I’ve lost weight and I like it.  Look for my new book “Do nothing, lose weight.”

cover of upcoming book

cover of upcoming book

Anyway as I lie in bed and read the paper and the internet it’s hard to not feel dread and sadness at the shootings, at Trump’s hate speech, feel like the world is going to hell in a hand basket.  What helps me is not to stay in the macro, but to also look at the micro. Let me offer you some brain draino from the negative of the day.

In my micro world I’ve been humbled by the goodness of friends of neighbors helping me and my kids while I have been sick.  The first week when I thought it was a bad cold it was hard to make sense of what was going on .  Mark was still rushing off to work per normal.  I got pretty upset and emotional.  “I can’t do what I normally do.”  I can’t be the one who makes breakfast and school lunches everyday.  I would have filed for divorce if I could have gotten out of bed.  The fevers where making me loopy.  I wasn’t sure of my thoughts. I was so tired I could barely get to the bathroom.

Slowly, he started to step up, but there are still gaps when he is gone and week two I was much worse.  I texted a neighbor, “can you please bring me soup and feed my kids?”  I didn’t know I could do such a thing.

food made with love tastes the best

food made with love tastes the best

So  desperate an ask.  But she came over with soup for me and took my kids to her house for a few hours where she made them dinner and they had a good time.  She continued to bring tea or soup over the next several days.  I just gave her my key.  I wasn’t going anywhere.

I had to punt Thanksgiving to my sisters.  I cabbed over for about an hour, but I was a zombie at the table.  I thought I would have made my creamed spinach, my cheese pinwheels..but was a feverish day dream.

Days kind of blurred. Another neighbor texted, “may I bring you dinner?”  Please.  Meanwhile another neighbor whose son is at our school was picking up my kids almost everyday.how to bring food to the sick

I think people think if people are married they are covered, but “it’s takes a village” is a real statement.  It’s not it takes a nuclear family.  When I’m healthy I need my friendships, I need the camaraderie of the world and certainly when I’m sick I’ve learned my level of need.  I knew I had to go back to the doctor ( I went early and I tested negative for everything).  I decided I would call a cab and get to the Sunday clinic when they opened.  My friend Anya came over with a big tea pot and said, “I will be here at 8am and take you.”  I said, only if you promise to leave because the stress of her waiting with me would get to me.  I don’t want to be burden.

at the doctor's they asked me to put this on. My Tinder photo?

at the doctor’s they asked me to put this on. My Tinder photo?

She drove me the next morning while my family slept and sure enough the doctor said, “pneumonia”. I got some antibiotics and the fevers lessened.

Long story, but I needed to go to my regular doctor the next day to adjust the meds.  An uber took me there and back.  I love just being able to lie down in the back seat.  Money well spent.  I got the right medications.

A friend texted me, “anything I can do?”  Yes, can you get chicken tenders from Vons for my kids?”  I had soup, but I needed a ringer for my kids and I couldn’t stand let alone cook.  Now, at this point you might say, Daphne, aren’t you married to a chef?  Couldn’t he have made a week of meals for your kids that you could heat up in his absence?  But, friends that’s how I ended up with a cooking show on the Food Network.daphne dishes  I am the cook of the house.  Mark is still annoyed that the kids don’t want some fancy multi part dish he would like when they really want butter noodles.  Plus, when you cook for a living I don’t think you do at home. I don’t know.   I needed to figure out work arounds. This same friend brought some take out a few days later which I made about 4 days worth of meals out of.  By the way, ones appetite is pretty dinky on pneumonia.

My  sister Cecily took Vivien to a Christmas event I couldn’t make.

good aunt

good aunt

My mom came and hung with the kids because I started to worry that they were alone too much.  My kids have been so kind to me.  They haven’t complained.  Vivien fills my pot of tea.  Rex gives me massages.  One weekend Mark took Rex to a long planned father son camp.

won the first two heats of the box car race

won the first two heats of the box car race

One of those nights I got Vivien a sleep over so I could totally rest.  I knew I was no fun, not able to help with homework, zippo, so I kept wanting to find my kids fun time, company.

I was also fortunate to be friends with an Eastern Doctor who makes house calls.  So, I got acupuncture which helped open my breathing and relax me. She gave me some herbs and pro biotics that erased some side symptoms I was having.

Week 4.. I’m much better, but weak.  I drove to school for parent teacher conference.  Walking in and out of campus.  Talking for an hour my chest hurt.  I felt light headed. I went back to bed.  The kids and Mark went to get the tree.  “help us decorate the tree mommy?”  I can’t.  I got some boxes out and lay on the couch.  “Okay, unspool the lights and walk them around.”  I directed.  I’m so proud of 2014 Daphne, she organized the lights and ornaments for 2015 Daphne. organized christmas So, it’s not just about taking care of others when you can.  Take care of yourself!  Because you don’t know when you will be broke down and your stronger self can help out.  I was so proud of them.  They did the whole tree. I just had to stand on a chair and put the star on, that’s it.trimming the tree

As this was going on a dear old friend ( more than 20 years) showed up with three different entrees.  Home made mac and cheese ( fab) home made chicken soup and a frozen chicken curry.  Also from her kitchen.  It’s people like this that make me strive to be a better friend, a better person.

So, when you read the bad things let’s remember that most people are good.  That if we ask for help it comes!  For years Mark and later I too have done some fund raising for Meals on Wheels.  Man, I really get it know. Being a homebound, elderly person with no one visiting you but a sweet person bearing food.  That would make quite a difference in your life.   I don’t need any presents under my tree I already got more than I could ask for.

Daphne Dished raw

Okay, this ain’t pretty, but it’s what’s happening.  A little vlog on my life with pneumonia.  I know I’m not the only one suffering with this now, so maybe it can put a smile on someone elses’ face who has a pale, ugly face right now like moi.

Thanks to those who have been asking if Daphne Dishes is coming back for a third season.  I sure wish it would I day dream recipes ( unable to cook right now).  I have heard it’s going to be repeated in Jan.  So maybe that’s a good sign?  My recipes are still at www.foodnetwork.com/daphnedishes

I hope you are well and healthy and I hope to return to being funny and cooking and LOOKING BETTER.. oh and feeling better.

I am SO humbled by the help friends and family have given me and my kids the last few weeks.  We are all in this together.

New-mon-ya

So, this site has been in bed for the last couple of weeks along with me and now I know why.  I have Pneumonia.   Skipped Thanksgiving.  Been challenging.

I’m sure all kind of wit and wisdom will come from weeks of bed rest and tripping on steroid drugs, but until then.. wash your hands.  Check out my friend Shannon’s blog about your brave trip to assist Syrian refugees in Greece  ( spoiler alert Greek helpers and Syrians all seem to be gorgeous.) Shannon is very funny and once guested as my “Stunt Mom”.

Clearly she is a tough cookie, but her writing is informative without being pedantic.

Since I’m in bed and sleeping or watching screens Any suggestions of favorite binge shows?  I’m up to date on Empire ( storylines starting to go south), Indian Summer on Masterpiece Theate, everyone is depressed, but I just want to see the young Indian lead get naked.  Jane the Virgin, good, not as stellar as first season. Watched River on netflix. good, dark.  Grandfathered, loved, funny dead pan, my favorite.  Watching some John Adams, but small pox hard to watch right now.  So, please leave any shows you like… no zombies or vampires or game of thrones.  thanks.