My Dream Diagnosis

You ever go into a drawer, a box, your sister’s closet and find an article of clothing you forgot you had?  Well, sometimes I forget about videos I’ve made.  I’ve done over 500.  Here is one I tripped over and it was never tagged, promoted, etc so it only has 56 views.  That’s probably just from my mom.

In it I do part of bit I did when I was doing stand up when I was pregnant with Vivien.  A big belly is a great sight gag.  Here I’m pregnant with Rex.  You can hear that baby pressing on my lungs.  I’m gasping like Dom Deluise.  What I can’t figure out is why me and my camera man lined up the shot the way we did..right next to the pile of junk on my desk.  Oh, now I remember I knew I was going to be out of commission soon with Rex coming and we shot 20 videos in one day!

Anyway… here is one of the best things a doctor could tell a woman:

 

How Do you write a children’s book?

Author, Author!  My friend Sarah Maizes stopped by Rex’s bedroom so that I could interview her about her new book. You might remember her from her great turn as the parent of your kid’s friend you don’t like in my Cafe Mom series last year.

When I first met her in a comedy class years ago she said she had previously been a children’s book agent.  We were all interested in that field, she seemed less so.  But, now she has written, and even better gotten published, two children’s books.  They are good and easy to read for the parent who wants to turn out the lights.

Sarah says most children’s book authors don’t make much money.  Unless they get a good series going (Captain Underpants, anyone?)  She had tried to sell Olivia and that darn pig got a pass form 26 publishers.  Perseverance pays off because eventually the author struck gold with that. I think she has buddy series herself.

Danger of Online Porn

I’m not sure why a porn company sent a mom blogger this press release.  I found it amusing in parts.  Congrats, District of Columbia, you are the biggest watchers of online porn!  Maybe you shouldn’t get state hood, you big pervs.

As I looked over the “data” it appears that “MILF” is the #3 most watched type of porn.  I really should just vlog topless, then maybe I would actually make some money off this thing.

What was DISTURBING was the number one most watched type of porn is “Teen”.  This brings up an issue a friend of mine who is a counselor told me recently.  That because of the internet young men are more messed sexually than ever.  They see so much porn at a young age that they expect their girlfriends to be freaky deaky.  The guys are desensitized to “vanilla” sex and intimacy.  She has women 18 to 20 crying saying their boyfriends expect them to behave like the online porn performers.

Oh, for the halcyon days of the peep show. When one had to make a little effort to consume porn.

My friend said the guys wake up before their parents and watch the porn, clear the browser so it goes unnoticed.

Will males always dig porn? Sure, yeah.  But, I would like to think of ways to restrict access for my kids so one day Rex isn’t making his girlfriend cry ( Vivien is never leaving my side). I want my kids to have healthy, loving relationships… when they are 39.

Top 5 Most Popular Categories of 2012:

  1. Teen
  2. Lesbian
  3. MILF
  4. Amateur
  5. Ebony