Oscar ’14

As much as I wish the rainstorm had fallen right on red carpet Sunday, I watched the show with wide eyes.  I can’t help it.  I was born in the Heart of Screenland (Culver City), I’ve commented on the fashion as part of my job in the past and I even knew a couple of people in the big show.  (I’m so 3 degrees from famous)  I’ve eaten the pizza Ellen ordered!  I was on the list for an after party, not Elton’s.  But, after I put on my make up I got a text that the party was a turkey and not to bother.  When a film hasn’t won their party can go like half and  half left out.

At home Mark and I made dinner for our family who had come over and I got Red Carpet (wearing) Ready!

red carpet watching ready

 

Thanks for asking, I’m wearing vintage cashmere sweater and yoga pants.  Oh, no, I don’t buy it.  They send it to me.  Yes, picked the first thing I put on. The real red carpet was a snooze.  Not sure what happened, but I saw 4 celebs and lots of commercials, canned bits, and those weird talking heads on E!  Liked this clip of fashion from Vanity Fair party they sent me.  Miss Jane Fonda looks fab.

Ellen did a great job.  Also, kudos to all these thoughtful acceptance speeches.  Jared Leto, the lady from “12 years a slave”, the guy who wrote the movie.  I wasn’t wishing for a trap door to sink the narcissists till more than half way through the show.  Lame award goes to the director of “Gravity”.  Maybe he should have spoken in Spanish, cause he kind of rambled and didn’t have a point in English.  The director of “12 years” had a dud speech too.  Best picture award ususally does.  Best Short Action Animation in a Festival and Made on their Credit Card has more heart and vulnerability than the guy who will get ads taken out for him in the trades just to congratulate him.  I can’t get over his name being Steve McQueen either.  Do the kids even get that?  Is his wife named Ali McGraw?

Loved that they actually performed the nominated songs.  Didn’t like the years they didn’t. How about Travolta butchering Idina Menzel’s name?  He wasn’t even close.  Maybe he should do a PSA for dyslexia?  All great songs, except my old buds U2.  No “In the name of Love”.  Um, and why did Pink sing instead Liza Minneli?  Also, I like Bette Midler and she looked and sounded great, but do we need a reminder of “Beaches”?  Weren’t Kim Novak’s lips enough?

I found a great way to get through the slower bits of the show.  Oscar Bingo.  It’s a mix of fashion, celebs, and hack words and expressions.  Here is the winning card held by my niece Lily, and my card which did not.oscar bingo Lily’s, (on the right) has “Cuff”in the upper left box, as in worn on a lady’s wrist, metal.  Then anyone from “American Hustle”,  “incredible”, anyone saying that word.  The word “Amazing” was on someone else’s card and was marked fast.  The center box is suppose to be “Bow Tie”, but I wrote “Box Tie”, clearly thinking of what the stars inject in their faces.  Next is “person with accent”

Vivien’s card had  one we didn’t hear, thankfully, last night, the winner telling their kids to “go to sleep.”

Rex was undone.  “Why are you all watching this? It’s so boring!”  As he tumbled on the coach before donning my rain boots, a helmet, clutching a styrofoam “sword” sans pants.   “I know it is Rex.  But, I’m not budging till it’s over.”

 

Real mom red carpet

Why should so called famous people be the ones we ask questions of?  Is the second lead in a sitcom more wise than our real life friends?  I’ve done enough red carpet interviewing of “famous” people that I wanted to see what it would be like if I did  a red carpet interview with real life moms.

Of course, I don’t leave my house and they are all in my head.  But, you get the idea.

Golden Globes

One of the hazards with being an occasional basic cable host is that when you are NOT hired to cover an event you sit at home and “cover” the event in your head. How I would ask different questions, how it would feel. That’s the inspiration for this vid.

Also, people say, “Covering the red carpet must be fun.” It can be, but it can also be brutally hard and humbling. I will never forget covering the premiere of “Titanic” in the late ’90s and yelling, “Tom, Tom Arnold” as he blew past me.

Sylvester Stallone blew me off; I’ve been blown off my Demi Moore. You know, big names, too many to count. But I don’t know if it gets any lower than being blown off my Tom Arnold.

Oh, wait, a few months ago I was blown off by Janice Dickerson, a new low.

Golden Globes

I was twittering like a teletype while watching the pre-shows. I had to have some outlet since everyone else on the TV Guide staff was hired to work the red carpet except for me. (Sigh.)

After two hours of having NO ONE to agree with me how on how good gun metal dresses looked and how improved Jenna Fischer of The Office was, I yelled to Mark, “If I don’t get to watch this with a woman or a gay man I am going to go out of my mind.”

We were invited to watch it with some neighbor friends, but we had to wait while Rex’s car seat was washed and dried. Earlier there had been a rather disgusting accident. I don’t need to draw too clear of a picture.

When Ryan Seacrest tossed to his big forheaded co-host ( Yes, When TV Guide is on commercials, I do flip over to E!, but I always flip back) I ran and separated the car seat from the rest of the wet laundry and popped it into the dryer on high.  I had to get out of here.

I enjoyed watching the show when we got to our friend’s house. I liked Ricky Gervais’s put-down humor, and I thought dress-wise most of the gals wore gowns that favored their shape. They might not have been the best clothes, but for the most part none that cut people in the wrong way.

Least favorites. Julia Roberts. Ratty. Make an effort movie star.

Julianna Margulies, Love my “good wife,” but this neckline was distracting

Rita Wilson’s gown, wow, grandma left some drapes lying around?  Her husband can print money, let’s pick it up.

Kate Hudson, was she trying to steal something as she teetered on her hooker heels?

Diane Kruger, Here comes Kool Aid!

And sidebar, who is Sally Hawkins? She presented and everyone in the room was saying “who is this?” I just saw her name next to the picture of Ratty Roberts.

There was more good than bad, a few highlights:

Oliva Wilde ( “House”), was crazy about her sparkling gun metal, draped so well.

Marion Cotillard, that saucy French wench brought it.  Love the peekaboo lace on the leg. Daring, original, and the color of her dress was amazing with her eyes.

Jeanne Tripplehorn, momma has some junk in trunk and wore a lovely long sleeved black number with bejeweled cuffs that artfully pulls the eye away from any imperfections, and the solid color block is slimming.

And of course they all strutted in the rain, so if their hair survived they had great stylists… and probably enough air spray to finish off the ozone layer.

Rough Red Carpet

No, not the tale of me as a lonely mom… but as a reporter on a red carpet. I was covering “Valentino: The Last Emperor” at the LA County Museum of Art for my TV guide network show, “The Fashion Team.” It was a Who’s Who of who didn’t talk to me… or most of the press. Nancy Reagan, Gwyneth Paltrow, Anne Hathaway (a couple people nabbed her), Rachel Zoe, Tom Ford. (Who, I might brag, I met once, and he told me I had great legs and that I had worn the perfect shoe that night. The shoe was a Sonya Rykyel) It was one of the harder red carpets I have worked. It wasn’t the biggest event but still not a lot of press avail, as we say. In general, working a red carpet is miserable for both sides of the carpet, but far worse for the press.

Here is how it goes: I arrive early and join a producer, cameraman, and sound man. We get in position, which in this case meant being sandwiched between InStyle magagazine and some German reporter. Normal, no prob. But then the stars were few and far between. And normally a PR person comes up to you and says, “Would you like to speak to ___ ?” That way if you say “no,” the star is not offended. But the only rep who was working was for the director of the movie and while he was literate and gave good sound bite, he wasn’t my first pic for my fashion-oriented show.

Part of the problem was being after InStyle. I always wondered how they get those round-up pages in their mag. You know, like “What’s in your medicine cabinet?”  Did they really call up Blair Underwood to ask him that? And it’s a bunch of stars. Well, it turns out, one reporter grabs a celeb and banks enough questions for 6 months worth of issues. By the time it was my turn, the celeb was pooped and moved on.

I was snubbed by Janice Dickinson. What?? Janice who loves press. Janice who is pulled and stretched to the nth. Janice who claims to be the first ever supermodel (not sure about that one). Janice who had a Tyra rip-off model search reality show. She wouldn’t talk? I’ve interviewed her before; she is usually hoppin’ for press. But not tonight. It reminded me of years ago at my first red carpet when I was snubbed by Tom Arnold at the “Titanic” premiere. You don’t know what humble means till you yell in vain “Tom, Tom, Tom Arnold!” as he speeds by. To be blown off by Gwyneth Paltrow I get, but Tom Arnold and now Janice Dickinson?

Who did talk to me? I got a tiny, uncharismatic sound bite from Nicky Hilton. Valentino spoke. But God love him, he doesn’t speak in sound bites but long chapters; don’t know how they will edit it. Joan Collins was lovely, and let me say, she looked great. She was wearing a long, narrow black skirt with a big slit with which she was flashing some fab senior gams. (My dad said if I could arrange a hook up, he was in). Rita Wilson (Mrs. Tom Hanks) was a delight in her Lanvin coat. She was ebullient and our favorite for sure. Very nice to the press.

Seeing all that haute couture and glamour blaze by me was probably a tad harder for me than normal as I am still wearing my maternity clothes.