Message to Expectant moms

I just got word that a dear friend is having her first baby.  I wanted to send her the link to my wildly popular video about what being a NEW mom is really like, but it didn’t make the move from the old site.  So, I’m posting it again.

You can get a new mom swaddling blankets and Boppys.  I’m giving her the TRUTH.

Tell me what I LEFT out.

Please Take a Nap

There was a time when I handed someone something and I said, “Here is your camera.” It really was one.

Now it’s a phone.

There was a time when I said, “I’m in the mood for a kabob!”  I meant it.  But actually I mean a turkey wrap.

I use to say, “Sure, a jog sounds great.”  But I mean lying on my back on the couch.

My brain is not working that well. I know it’s cause I’m just so tired.

In this article they list the symptoms of sleep deprivation. It says some people need 9 hours of sleep. I haven’t sleep like that in over 5 years.  I’m happy with 6. The problem with this article and others I searched for is there was nothing about how one (a mom, a solider, a shift worker) can ever really function well without sleep… ’cause they can’t.

And if I didn’t fold my socks together when they come out of the dryer I would be dressing like a 3 year old. And not in the cute way.

The Anti-Gravitational Force

As Rex is further from my womb this particular affliction is getting a tad better, but it still exists. It’s interesting how when one becomes a mother one sees danger everywhere.  The cracks in the sidewalk, a busy intersection, Hannah Montana.  I don’t know if men get the same affliction.  My husband would throw our kids up to catch them if I didn’t threaten to have a stroke when he did so.

My Kid’s Nap Is Exhausting Me

Maybe I’ve blown it. I lie down with my daughter for her naps and bedtime; I have to be out of the house for her to allow anyone else to do it. And even then, with babysitter, dad, aunt, grandma… it can be a struggle. I don’t mind doing it most of the time. I am ready to sack out at any given moment, so often it’s fine with me. But lately, I had three days running where she was not going to sleep.  

So I become mommie dearest. If I really can’t get her to nap, then she has to stay in her room for the “nap time” and I go to my room and either sleep – rare – or watch MSNBC.

Baby Has Me In Training

I don’t know if it’s my general anxiety or my full bladder, but sleep has become a tad restless lately. Seeing that I’m only 21 weeks pregnant, I think it’s too early for this. But this is the third morning in a row that I am waking up at 5 am, unable to go back to sleep.

From 5 to 6 I have to lay and worry about everything and everyone. Or work up some dormant anger about some past slight. Having some time before the house wakes up is okay. I make my one cup of coffee for the day – a sweet half-cup before I’m forced to switch to decaf. Then I take a walk, read the paper, watch the news, space out online, but dang, I’d sure like more sleep.

I think the baby is nudging me to remember what it will be like when he arrives. No longer the leisure life of a kid in preschool, but growling at my husband if he doesn’t help with the 11 and 2 feedings. Oh, yes, I know what’s coming. Breathe in “miracle of life,” breathe out “someone will care when I die.” I must stay focused on the important things, not that disabled feeling for the first couple of weeks, or months, or year and a half.

If only I could take a sleeping pill!

My Kid Looks Better Than I Do

How many times have you felt like your kid looks a lot better than you do? Could be almost every day. But it really hit me today. Here she is wearing a great dress we got her in Paris, and I am dressed like a slob. I had exercised, but really it’s not an uncommon outfit for me to wear when I am not working.

Daphne in workout clothes, Vivien in a dress

Mommy clothes are either working out clothes, the horrendous mom jeans, or the flowing skirt/dress thing. We went to our Rock Toddler music class and a mommy friend was there in the flowing dress look. I think that is the way to go. Especially in the summer. Comfortable, no tushy showing, still feminine.Cause sometimes I see moms running around in their faux workout clothes, and I am seeing outlines of a body that shouldn’t be showcased. I think, “Oh God, that is me!”

Partly it’s fashion by sleep deprivation, but now that I get more sleep I think I could pull it together. Do I really need to be this casual in order to parent? Do any of us? It feels like it, but maybe we all need a paradigm shift.