It’s the age old issue…when your kids sleep do you get stuff done or pass out? Do you clean up or go online? Before I do anything, I used to always do a sweep of the house. But, now, not so sure.
I keep hoping Rex sleeping in a room with Vivien will stick. But he is still kind of noisy baby, and their sleep schedules are so different that most of the time I have to keep them separated. Which means Rex is either in Oliver’s room (when Oliver is elsewhere) or in the play room… a.k.a. the kitchen.
Sometimes it bums me out that he sleeps in the kitchen. Other times I think, hey Barack Obama grew up in an apartment; his wife’s whole family lived in a one-bedroom apartment, and they certainly did well for themselves. Look at Michael Douglas’s son; he is facing a 10 year prison sentence, and his mother is selling their 29 million dollar home. So, the physical structure in which a child grows up doesn’t mean that much… as long as they have some structure over their head.
I digress. This is about a crib. And here is my husband making a cameo as… my husband.
Morning Rex needed to be extra cute today. Yes, he is such a blessing, but woof. Today was one to muscle through.
I have to fight writing the title of this blog in every blog post. Life was looking a tad rosier of late. I was only waking up once a night to nurse Rex. I could Ferberize him out of that as well, but I also do it for me so I don’t have porn star breasts in the morning and so I can savor these fleeting moments of babyhood. At 3 a.m., I miss the lil guy.
But last night all that Sprout food backfired. Rex woke up every 3 hours. Well, actually a tad more because sometimes I put a pillow over my head. But the guy had a genuine beef. He was an overnight poop factory. So, not only did I need to get up and change him, but also try to keep his screams down to a minimum so as to not wake the whole household. (Mark’s on a grueling schedule at present so wanted to give him a break).
After I staggered into Vivien’s school with Rex strapped on I thought it was nap time for both of us. And by the way I took so long to walk through the school her teacher said, “Are you still here?” I slowly turned to her.
“I’m moving slow. I’m so tired.” Sadly anyone who approached me heard about my son’s BMs.
Of course HE WOULD NOT NAP. So plan B, which is throw him in the stroller. And I was so irked he wouldn’t nap that he’s lucky I didn’t literally throw him the stroller. I had some work later so I knew the only thing that would get me through a day like this without a nap was a protein heavy meal. Egg dish here I come. Yes, my friendly waitress also heard about the nocturnal happenings. I’m really boring.
And of course my brain is not working so well. This is probably a big part of mom brain.
This is probably a big part of mom brain. But don’t take my word for it, check out this item in the science section of the NY Times this week. See, that sleep debt cannot be easily erased. And I haven’t slept through the night in 8 and a half months, so it’s a wonder I’m walking upright.
Semi-revived, I thought how this is an ongoing theme in mothers’ lives. Sure, the baby stuff is hard on your sleep, but even later you have to get up early to get kids out the door, then maybe get yourself to your work. Or Susie is in the band and they need drivers for the big competition 200 miles away. And so on.
So, I want to start and ongoing thread.
I’M SO FLIPPING TIRED I COULD… ( I ALMOST DID OR I DID)
I would love for you all to post a comment to finish that sentence.
I’ll start it off… I’M SO FLIPPING TIRED I…
…put my daughter’s cereal this morning in my coffee cup.
…Asked my sister if my 8-year-old niece would like to nurse Rex. (I meant babysit, she and her mother babysit. Sheesh.)
…When Rex wouldn’t nap I called him the F word. (I didn’t scream it).
If you are more rested now, maybe you can remember the super sleepy days and share a FLIPPING tired memory.
Like “I’m so flipping tired, I tried to order pizza on my binoculars.”
So, now we aren’t sure the flu fairy did visit us. And by flu I mean REGULAR flu, NOT Swine Flu. Vivien tested positive for a sinus infection. She was only droopy for 36 hours, so I’m inclined to think it was not the flu. As when I had it a few years ago I was on my back… and not in a good way. The nurse said she should still finish the Tami Flu. I felt a little bad since it would give her little tummy aches.
By the way, found the best way possible to get her to take it. I put it in one of those plastic 2 oz containers that people give formula to babies in. Mix it with lemonade, cover with the lid. Then if possible go out to a public place and put a bright straw in the container. Taste isn’t terrible, straw is fun and less resistance in public. When we went to breakfast one morning it was a breeze. Then bribes are at the ready too. “When you are done you can have a cupcake!”
I realize Swine flu is not the same as polio circa 1946, but I’m a little bent to find out a TA at school had told other parents that Vivien had had Swine flu. I was tipped off by another parent, so I said straight out to the kind TA “Vivien did not have swine flu; we don’t even think she had regular flu. Please don’t say that.”
Let’s get our communicable diseases right.
By the way, thanks to all who reminded my sleep-deprived brain about my pack and play. It is working out so well. Even though a few nights a week we still have to make and eat dinner, clean the dishes, get last-minutes snacks, make Viv’s lunch by 730 or 8 so I can put the PnP in the “playroom” and get Rex down to sleep. I even figured out where the power cord is for my monitor so it can’t “conk” out.
See what getting some sleep can do? I feel giddy. I’m so rested. I still nurse him when he wakes up at 1. Yes, partly because by then I look and feel as if I have had implants, but after the nights I’ve had for 8 months, waking up once feels like a gift. And I do miss him.
Sleeping, Viv back at school. Who knows what I can accomplish now! I even took a shower!
Thank heavens for it!
When Vivien was a baby we had a hand me down exersaucer. It was a bit sun bleached, some of toys were missing, but it still use to buy me time to throw food in my mouth or pee. I recently asked Mark to get me a saucer. He came back with a little seat that rolls. Yeah, okay, good for 2 to 3 minutes. But I knew it was the saucer-baby-prison I needed. Not all hunks of plastic are created equally. Somewhere in China my perfect baby activity center awaited.
I needed a prime neglecterzizer. I almost bought one when I was birthday shopping for Viv, but the $90 price tag made me pause. A few weeks ago, my sister Cecily called that she was in a hand-me-down kids shop, and there were some nice ones. Not all beat up or ghettozizer like Vivien’s had been.
So, voila, $55 later, look at how happy Rex is in it. The other day he was happily playing away in his office for 15 minutes.
Almost long enough to take a nap.
Last Friday night, Rex woke up every 1 hour and 45 minutes. No, not every 2 hours; I know because I looked at the clock. Each time I would sleepily take him out of his bassinet near my bed and tuck him on to nurse. We would both pass out. Sometimes I managed to put him back in the bassinet, sometimes Mark did, and often everyone just passed out for… you know… like 1 hour and 45 minutes.
Now, he has never been one of those great sleepers. And the next person who tells me their kid always slept at least 6 hours at a time is going to get my two fingers jabbed in their eyes a la The Three Stooges.
Saturday morning, I was on the verge of disowning Mark and Vivien as I tried to nap, and their chatter kept waking me up. I finally realized I had to make a mental choice to “wake up” even though I felt awful. All that was left for me to do was to consume a high calorie breakfast. Carbs and fat would have to be my fuel; fortunately there is a restaurant in the family that serves a good brunch.
I also decided, that’s it. Got to Ferberize the kid. I did it with Vivien when she was around 1, and it worked well. But since the move, I haven’t been able to find my book. Then, after brunch, what comes in the mail but the Ferber book! Looking like it had been ordered on Amazon as a used book. I thought, wow, I guess I’m not as totally super out of it as I thought ’cause in a moment of clarity, I bought this.
30 minutes later, my very good friend Bonnie called from Marin county (north of SF), “did you get the Ferber book?”
Good news: I have such a thoughtful friend who has listened to my needs and took care of me.
Bad News: I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
It’s funny how with a second child you sort of think a lot of these issues won’t fell you. You know what’s coming. Honestly, I knew it would be a challenge, so I had planned to hire massive amounts of help. But, um, then there was this Ponzi scheme, so jokes on me!
So, it’s a two part deal. #1 get him off the breast at night. Before we can do the classic Ferber, we need to tackle that. Mark is a trooper at helping, but I need to let him sleep sometimes, so I’m going into the piggy bank–happily this week. Saturday night our sitter/nanny/my real wife Dolly took the night shift. We agree Rex would get a bottle of pumped milk at 1 and at 5. That’s it. She said in her heavy accented voice,
“Missy Daphne, no matter you hear cry, no come in. My responsibility.” I am a light sleeper and jump to him in seconds. Dolly and Mark said I’m making it worse. Which I sort of resented, but since they are helpful I’ll take it.
Mark took the next night. Thinking we need another Dolly night for his health though. It seems to be getting better. But it is so painful not to take him to my bosom when I hear him cry.
But I’m doing it. I have to. So far.
To be continued…
There was a time when I handed someone something and I said, “Here is your camera.” It really was one.
Now it’s a phone.
There was a time when I said, “I’m in the mood for a kabob!” I meant it. But actually I mean a turkey wrap.
I use to say, “Sure, a jog sounds great.” But I mean lying on my back on the couch.
My brain is not working that well. I know it’s cause I’m just so tired.
In this article they list the symptoms of sleep deprivation. It says some people need 9 hours of sleep. I haven’t sleep like that in over 5 years. I’m happy with 6. The problem with this article and others I searched for is there was nothing about how one (a mom, a solider, a shift worker) can ever really function well without sleep… ’cause they can’t.
And if I didn’t fold my socks together when they come out of the dryer I would be dressing like a 3 year old. And not in the cute way.
Oh, seriously I do like sex. I really do. But, when I was single I usually chose sleep instead as well. Well, there were a few times where I sparked with some hottie, spent hours talking into the early morning hours before we finally made the beast with a naked back..or whatever that expression is. I would be a bit fried the next as I boarded a plane or staggered into work, but no biggie because I knew at some point I could nap, order delivery and sit in my nightgown watching “Melrose Place”. Ah, the 90’s… But there were plenty of times where I was like, ah, I gotta go back to my place and snooze. Let’s pick this up another night. Once I became jaded enough to realize that fun, new sex feeling would still be there a day later or it might make me realize, Yuck, I so don’t want to wake up next to this creep.
But, as we know there is little chance of a nap so save your survey dollars. Most woman will agree with me. Especially if they are like me and being woken up every 2 hours by a newborn.
Hmm, this shows a tad more breast than I had realized, oh well! I don’t have CGI to place a burning fuselage there instead. This vid underscores that constant yin yang you have as a parent.
You are adorable.
You are the best thing I’ve ever done.
But can you not whine?
Now I know there is a God.
Is that poo on my carpet?