Ah, look at me in all my glamor, as I show my side that’s fed-up with glam mags touting the fab, post-pregnancy bodies of famous moms. Tabloids: they are so delicious, and so annoying.
Since I’ve had an overwhelming response to my new hair cut, including requests for more shots of it (well, 2 actually, but in my mind it’s a riot). If you want more hair shots I will provide them! Not one, but two pictures! It is not short in the back like the popular Victoria Beckham style for which I had a longer version of before. Note, I am showing you my roots as well.
My one correction is that it’s not totally maintenance free. I have hair like fiberglass so I can go 5 days without washing it. To some of you this may sound gross, but I swear it is true. I go to Fantastic Sam’s to get it washed, and then I’m set for most of the week. I tried to do a home job and this haircut looks, AWFUL if not blown out right. Also, it is important to note, I don’t think it would be much on thin hair. If I use a big round brush or curls it looks like I’m on “News at 5,” in Dallas.
My hair is like carbon dating. I’ve done the Dorothy Hamill, the shag, even the Mullet. I did the Jennifer Anniston (and time for her to change it up too) I think the only hair trend I missed was in the late eighties I never got the perm. Missing the eighties perm, probably had something to do with the fact that I was too stoned.
Remember them (Haircut 100)? Loved their hit in junior high. Anyway, here is my new do. I got it cut last week. In the last year I keep getting shorter. Everyone likes it except my husband who misses my long hair. I have hair as thick as kudzu, so it’s nice to have a style without having to style. I had been doing a Katie Holmes/Victoria Beckham kind of wedge, but it was starting to look a little like a Dorothy Hamill (which I also had), so I asked my haircutter to change it up.
I do think I need to grow it again, because in 5 to 10 years I will be that age that starts to look goofy with long hair.
It’s not too much a “mom” cut, right? I don’t want a hairdo that goes with pleated jeans and a mini van. But, gosh it is easier.
I was getting mic’d at work (the process of having a sound person attach a microphone to me), when I spied “Hogan Knows Best,” the reality show was playing on one of the TV’s in the studio. With over processed hair Brooke Hogan was heavily French kissing with some young blond boy who looked shorter and younger than her. Anyway, it was gross.
Then there are the dark haired Kardashians (“Keeping Up With The Kardashians”). The family seems to be all hoochied up, and could Bruce Jenner have done more plastic surgery to his face?
So here is what I was wondering, “what’s with watching trashy people be trashy?” I can kind of get it when it was someone really famous, like Ozzy Osbourne, but who are these people? Talk about shows I want my daughter never to see. I wouldn’t let her have a play-date at their house, why would I want her to watch them on TV?
Here are some of the things all of these shows have in common:
1) Contemporary architecture and furnishings– You will never see a reality show in an Arts and Crafts or Spanish Revival. From the Bachelor on down they are always Mc-Mansions with no taste.
2) Calabasas– It’s the Lourdes of reality TV. For those of you not from LA, Calabasas is a nouveau riche paradise. White people commute long distances for their large new tract homes, “good schools,” and cookie cutter upscale shopping centers. The devil collects souls at the Starbucks.
3) People I don’t care about
4) Editing, Editing, Editing– I’ve hosted a few reality shows (“playing it straight,” “Perfect Partner”), the show is all made in the editing room. You can give someone “conflict” with one slow motion stare and the right music. It is not a myth, producers do coach people what to say in the interviews. It goes something like this, “So, would you say it made you mad when Clare walked in late to the party? Okay, put that in your own words.” Is this reality, I ask?
5) The tears are real– When contestants are eliminated and people cry it’s for real. I cried when hosting. Because you are lab rats, separated from your world and your only “friends” are the other people on the show, so people do get genuinely upset. I have stayed friends with people who were on my shows. So that’s legit.
Remember “The Three Little Bears”? Well, these days Goldilocks would be rejecting noses, not porridge. Check out this new children’s book, My Beautiful Mommy, which explains mom’s plastic surgery to kids.
It reminds me of a story my mom told me years ago. When older sister Carole was little, there was a family on our block, the “Smythes.” Well, Mrs. Smythe was always very made up and had chic little outfits and done-up blonde hair. And she drank cocktails with her husband and friends in their second-floor bar, which was so cool. But she was harsh to her kids and yelled and whacked them. My mom was pretty, but more in a 1970s way. Long straight hair, big sunglasses, tanned with little make up. So, one day after playing with the put upon Smythe kids, Carole said to our mom, “Mean mommies are pretty. You are a nice mommy.”
There’s a compliment in there somewhere.
What do we have in common with movie stars? How about armpit hair! Find out how stars are just like us, and how they are not. Ideally, I think we should live and let live without worrying about how different people conduct their lives… ah, who am I kidding? I judge all the time, and so do you.
Oh, and by the way, scented powder works well, too.