As if being in back to school re entry wasn’t bad enough, now my little guy is sick.  Get the bucket sick.  For two days!

He feels bad, and I didn’t sleep much.  A couple of times I was the bucket.  Good thing I had my hair up.

We are both toast.

I feel a little guilty enjoying his sweet constant cuddles when he is sick.  But, I hope this ends soon.  He is miserable.

Momversation: Flippin’ Tired

I really loved the momversationalists in this. You Cool Mom viewers/readers started it when you kept adding on to my original “I’m so flipping tired..” with your honesty and humor. So I asked the panel to weigh in.

Sidebar, my makeup and lighting were good in this, but I know I was a tad tired as I didn’t have good jokes… sometime the brain is slower.

I was driving today thinking how now that I do get a bit more sleep than I had for most of 2009, I realize HOW tired I have been. Big things and small things have really fallen through the cracks, and I’m just now trying to attend to. Yet, I’m sort of amazed that any of us with little babies function at all, let alone how well we do.


I’m So Tired, Part 2

That I can’t get the coffee in the pot. Look at that!  I didn’t have far to go.

But I have hope. Last night Rex slept through the night for the FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE!!!!!  (Cue balloons, fireworks).

I didn’t sleep all the way myself. I woke up around 12 to check his breathing. But pretty exciting. I am hopeful that perhaps my marbles won’t be quite so scrambled.

I’ll be playing with a tight deck.

I’ll have enough loafs to make a pyramid.

Wait, these don’t make any sense. Okay… a few more nights, Rex, and then Mommy will be the sharpest tool in the fence.

Wait, that didn’t work did it?

I’m So Flipping Tired…

Morning Rex needed to be extra cute today. Yes, he is such a blessing, but woof. Today was one to muscle through.

I have to fight writing the title of this blog in every blog post. Life was looking a tad rosier of late. I was only waking up once a night to nurse Rex. I could Ferberize him out of that as well, but I also do it for me so I don’t have porn star breasts in the morning and so I can savor these fleeting moments of babyhood. At 3 a.m., I miss the lil guy.

But last night all that Sprout food backfired. Rex woke up every 3 hours. Well, actually a tad more because sometimes I put a pillow over my head. But the guy had a genuine beef.  He was an overnight poop factory. So, not only did I need to get up and change him, but also try to keep his screams down to a minimum so as to not wake the whole household. (Mark’s on a grueling schedule at present so wanted to give him a break).

After I staggered into Vivien’s school with Rex strapped on I thought it was nap time for both of us. And by the way I took so long to walk through the school her teacher said, “Are you still here?” I slowly turned to her.

“I’m moving slow. I’m so tired.” Sadly anyone who approached me heard about my son’s BMs.

Of course HE WOULD NOT NAP. So plan B, which is throw him in the stroller. And I was so irked he wouldn’t nap that he’s lucky I didn’t literally throw him the stroller. I had some work later so I knew the only thing that would get me through a day like this without a nap was a protein heavy meal. Egg dish here I come. Yes, my friendly waitress also heard about the nocturnal happenings. I’m really boring.

And of course my brain is not working so well. This is probably a big part of mom brain.

This is probably a big part of mom brain. But don’t take my word for it, check out this item in the science section of the NY Times this week. See, that sleep debt cannot be easily erased. And I haven’t slept through the night in 8 and a half months, so it’s a wonder I’m walking upright.

Semi-revived, I thought how this is an ongoing theme in mothers’ lives.  Sure, the baby stuff is hard on your sleep, but even later you have to get up early to get kids out the door, then maybe get yourself to your work. Or Susie is in the band and they need drivers for the big competition 200 miles away. And so on.

So, I want to start and ongoing thread.


I would love for you all to post a comment to finish that sentence.

I’ll start it off… I’M SO FLIPPING TIRED I…

…put my daughter’s cereal this morning in my coffee cup.

…Asked my sister if my 8-year-old niece would like to nurse Rex. (I meant babysit, she and her mother babysit. Sheesh.)

…When Rex wouldn’t nap I called him the F word. (I didn’t scream it).

If you are more rested now, maybe you can remember the super sleepy days and share a FLIPPING tired memory.

Like “I’m so flipping tired, I tried to order pizza on my binoculars.”

Look Familiar?

You have served your kids dinner, and you are so TIRED that instead of making something for yourself you FINISH what is on their plates before you clean them and call it a day. Yes, I’m married to a chef, but 5 to 6 nights a week it’s real world around here. And dang it, homemade chicken tenders, leftover pasta, and day old green beans, not bad, not bad at all.

Note the cider donut mix. My friend Ella just brought that back to me from Vermont. She swore they were good, and I was wondering how different they could be from regular donuts.

I have a new project.

Sleep Travails

Okay, so this sleep thing… um, well. Saturday night went great with Rex. He slept from 9:30 to 5 (here he is napping at my mom’s).

I should have had the energy to go to an early morning yoga class, but as life would have it Vivien–not her norm–woke up at around 2 or 3. Not sure, a blur, just realized she was wedged between us, and Mark was saying “She’s had a bad dream.” She rolled on me a few times till I took her back to her room where I passed out briefly and then went back to my room. One wake up after another. I calmly said, “Vivien, if you don’t go to sleep soon, I’m going to be in a very bad mood.”

The next night, my stepson is here, which means Rex is in our room. Well, forget it, you can’t sleep train when the baby smells you. They are like wild animals. So that night was a waste. The next night back into Oliver’s room (aka, where Rex sleeps when Oliver is elsewhere). Went better. I fed him twice in the night and didn’t jump up at every little cry and gurgle. I have noticed allowing him to cry for a few minutes at bedtimes does help him stay asleep longer.

The next night, again the room was occupied with a teenager who doesn’t need to be part of sleep training an infant, so I put Rex down in the play room (and by that, I mean the space off the kitchen).  But we had noticed he had a little runny nose, so I was not tough loving it. I was jumping up and holding him to me when I thought he need it. Or when I did.

I think between the cold and him getting shots tomorrow, I can’t pull another feeding from him this week, right? Shouldn’t I wait a few days? That’s what I think. And I’m not that busy this week so I think I can sack up and do it.

Sleep training can resume on Saturday.

Sleep Training… Sort of

Last Friday night, Rex woke up every 1 hour and 45 minutes. No, not every 2 hours; I know because I looked at the clock. Each time I would sleepily take him out of his bassinet near my bed and tuck him on to nurse. We would both pass out. Sometimes I managed to put him back in the bassinet, sometimes Mark did, and often everyone just passed out for… you know… like 1 hour and 45 minutes.

Now, he has never been one of those great sleepers. And the next person who tells me their kid always slept at least 6 hours at a time is going to get my two fingers jabbed in their eyes a la The Three Stooges.

Saturday morning, I was on the verge of disowning Mark and Vivien as I tried to nap, and their chatter kept waking me up. I finally realized I had to make a mental choice to “wake up” even though I felt awful. All that was left for me to do was to consume a high calorie breakfast. Carbs and fat would have to be my fuel; fortunately there is a restaurant in the family that serves a good brunch.

I also decided, that’s it. Got to Ferberize the kid. I did it with Vivien when she was around 1, and it worked well. But since the move, I haven’t been able to find my book. Then, after brunch, what comes in the mail but the Ferber book! Looking like it had been ordered on Amazon as a used book. I thought, wow, I guess I’m not as totally super out of it as I thought ’cause in a moment of clarity, I bought this.

30 minutes later, my very good friend Bonnie called from Marin county (north of SF), “did you get the Ferber book?”

Good news: I have such a thoughtful friend who has listened to my needs and took care of me.

Bad News: I don’t know if I’m coming or going.

It’s funny how with a second child you sort of think a lot of these issues won’t fell you. You know what’s coming. Honestly, I knew it would be a challenge, so I had planned to hire massive amounts of help. But, um, then there was this Ponzi scheme, so jokes on me!

So, it’s a two part deal. #1 get him off the breast at night. Before we can do the classic Ferber, we need to tackle that. Mark is a trooper at helping, but I need to let him sleep sometimes, so I’m going into the piggy bank–happily this week. Saturday night our sitter/nanny/my real wife Dolly took the night shift. We agree Rex would get a bottle of pumped milk at 1 and at 5. That’s it. She said in her heavy accented voice,

“Missy Daphne, no matter you hear cry, no come in.  My responsibility.” I am a light sleeper and jump to him in seconds. Dolly and Mark said I’m making it worse. Which I sort of resented, but since they are helpful I’ll take it.

Mark took the next night. Thinking we need another Dolly night for his health though. It seems to be getting better. But it is so painful not to take him to my bosom when I hear him cry.

But I’m doing it. I have to. So far.

To be continued…

Please Take a Nap

There was a time when I handed someone something and I said, “Here is your camera.” It really was one.

Now it’s a phone.

There was a time when I said, “I’m in the mood for a kabob!”  I meant it.  But actually I mean a turkey wrap.

I use to say, “Sure, a jog sounds great.”  But I mean lying on my back on the couch.

My brain is not working that well. I know it’s cause I’m just so tired.

In this article they list the symptoms of sleep deprivation. It says some people need 9 hours of sleep. I haven’t sleep like that in over 5 years.  I’m happy with 6. The problem with this article and others I searched for is there was nothing about how one (a mom, a solider, a shift worker) can ever really function well without sleep… ’cause they can’t.

And if I didn’t fold my socks together when they come out of the dryer I would be dressing like a 3 year old. And not in the cute way.

The Anti-Gravitational Force

As Rex is further from my womb this particular affliction is getting a tad better, but it still exists. It’s interesting how when one becomes a mother one sees danger everywhere.  The cracks in the sidewalk, a busy intersection, Hannah Montana.  I don’t know if men get the same affliction.  My husband would throw our kids up to catch them if I didn’t threaten to have a stroke when he did so.