a pee too far

here is a TBT.  I was super pregnant with Rex.  There are always some issues that bother us more than others… for me.. a wet towel on a rug  (grr), kid who want go to sleep when you are beat (everyone)  and then the good old pee on a brand new couch.  It does remind me why I still get this couch steam cleaned every three months..

Ah, the toddler years

We just got back from a fun camping trip with families from Rex’s pre school. Rex is part of the “cool Senior set”  4 and 5 year olds who are all about to chuck the sand box for long hours of structured learning.  Oh, they have no idea what a buzz kill that will be.IMG_0670

I have bagged the trip before because it always falls on my birthday ( thanks, thanks), but because it’s our swan song we went.  So glad we did.  Great time, great people and being sung to by a campfire as I look up at stars ( non existent in LA) is a nice way to bring a new year in.  Though why I  had to hear so many times “29 again?” Chortle, chortle.  Hey, why is it SO funny that I would be 29?  Do I look THAT bad?

One bummer was that oddly NOT ONE family had an older sibling Viv’s age.  There was on 7 year old boy, but different universe.  Not one older sister.  Note, to self, if we go again kidnap a third grade girl for the weekend, “don’t worry, we will take care of her and bring back on Sunday.”

family and llamasLOTS of people with little kids.   I loved holding the occasional baby.  That sweet new human smell they have is like NOTHING else.  It’s a primal connection.  Nature knows what it is doing.  I whiff that and I would take that child in and make them my own if needed.  HOWEVER, all the toddlers, 3 year olds only made me pat myself on that back for demanding my husband get a vasectomy. Seeing so many people trying to reason, cajole their 2 and 3 year olds gave a tiny bit of glee.  I don’t have to deal with this ( much) anymore.

The irrational, no reason, OCD, crazy people that rule you.  No thanks.  My fiver old is no walk in the walk.  I don’t want to go through that again.  So, I looked for a snap shot of when I was in that mode.  When all you can do is crack up, or find the comedy.

But, Gosh, look at those curls!  Sniff, sniff.

Momversation: How Do You Deal with a Public Tantrum?

Oh, who hasn’t walked in those shoes… a kid is having a full blown Exorcist meltdown in public.  How do you react if it’s your own and how do you react if it’s a strangers child?  In this I talk about my my dear friend Christine D. who comes to the aid of a mother’s on planes.  Sign, what a love.

Is there a tried and true method you employ?  Is it always out of left field or do you see it coming? Vivien and I just had an issue.  We ran to the mall to buy stuff for Mark’s bday and she was great.  Listening to mom ( as I had prepped her), staying within my sight, helping me with the purchases.  But, when we got in the car I would let her climb up and over the presents-which would have mashed them, through the front seat to the back, while four cars were idling waiting for our car to move so we could get out of there.  Suddenly, Beowulf appeared.

I was stunned, where did this come from? After a few minutes it was over and we were driving home, but I think I need some lozenges for my throat.

Dancing with a Toddler

Here’s what a dork I am. I just frittered away a good ten minutes of my life looking up the bios on Dancing with the Stars, and not just the celebs but the dancers and the judges too. I mean who is Carrie Ann Inaba anyway? I also wanted to know who that hot Latin “star” was. He was in the first season of Ugly Betty. He played the photographer who pretended to be in love with Alexis the transgender sister of Daniel.

As a host I can be very critical of my brethren. Initially I thought Tom Bergeron was a generic, white man, tool. But, he has impressed me with his ability to improvise. Samantha Harris is annoying just because she has great arms and a tiny figure 4 minutes after giving birth. Her job is kind of thankless. How many times can you ask, “The judges were kind of hard on you out there. How do you feel?”

I love DWTS. It’s a show I can watch with my daughter because it’s not scary (she can’t distinguish botched plastic surgery) and we often get up and dance during the show. Lately, DWTS and Ugly Betty are the only shows Vivien allows me to watch –with humans–without whining. It’s hard for me to even get to American Idol this season. After 5 minutes she says, “Momma, I no like this show.” And my old favorite Hardball? Forget about it! Not enough movement.