Hobo’s and random funny

some days I wish I was still regularly doing stand up.  One moment was yesterday as I heard a BBC anchor interview a guy about the America’s Cup race.

“Has yachting always been a rich man’s sport?”  Had a been mid drink I would have shot the liquid out of my nose.  What answer did he expect?

” No, in the 1890’s in reaction to the rigors of the industrial revolution workers collectives formed yachting co-ops.” Or

“At the height of the depression hobo’s would sometimes jump off a freight train and join their ranks on yacht’s near Nantucket.  Here is a picture of Joe Kennedy toasting his fellow sailor.  Yes, that one, the one without the shoes.”

“Wait, rich people have yachts?”  

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I just did a vigorous work out class.  It occurred to me that it would be a lot easier just not to eat.

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Rex was interviewed at school.   “My dad is a chef, my sister is Vivien.  I have no idea what my mother does.  My brother is in college.  He needs to find a job.”  The teachers typed it up and put it in a frame.  So now the whole school can see that I’m inconsequential and his brother is a lay about.

I have to start coaching him and ask for another interview.

” Cmon, Rex, let’s go over this again.  Mommy has been a TV Host for years.  Look here is a photo of when I had a billboard for a show I was on.” I need something to boost me up at drop off.  I can well imagine how this re-interview would go ,  ” My mom use be on a board.  She looks much better in full make up.”  Maybe I need to spice it up.  Something like this, “My mom is a rocket scientist and does EVERYTHING for me and my family. Her legs, did you see how good her legs are?”    As I looked at the frame today one of his teachers laughed,  “kids, they have no filter.”

Ha, ha, you want to hear what he says about you?

Be sure to tip your waitress

 

Back to Working Out

Well, besides wanting to lose the baby weight, I will say that exercising has helped with my “we were robbed” blues. Gotta keep those endorphins up. This is part of the batch I taped right before my move. Enjoy the last looks at my old house. And half of that furniture is in storage.

But, about my waistline…

Madonna Arms

I know it’s tawdry, but I do a have a passing interest in this Madonna divorce. What really caught my eye was a piece that said her super fitness was getting in the way of the marriage. I’ve long said I’ve wanted “Madonna arms” (Note the place they are in now: not saggy, but not Queen of Pop).

Daphne Brogdon flexing

She is 50 and has defied gravity and womanhood to prevent the arm flaps that start to appear in the late 30s (earlier if there is a weight issue). Well, now the truth the comes out: she gets perfect arms ’cause she works out FOUR HOURS A DAY. And she banned sugar and dairy from her home.  

Now, if I was performing in a corset in front of millions, I’d probably do the same thing, but having part of my body on basic cable doesn’t quite warrant such drastic measures. If I consistently worked out an hour a day and put half and half in my coffee, I think I’d be happy with the results.

But the ol’ “don’t envy people” is easy to find here. I do envy her arms, but her hubby allegedly saying the workouts got in the way of their life together is a big bummer. Or that he wanted to cuddle with more flesh.