The “R” Word: Momversation

There was a lot going on in this discussion and due to time constraints it didn’t all get in.  But you get the gist. I started the Momversation because I was irked that Sarah Palin thought it was okay if Rush Limbaugh called people “retards” but was mad when Obama’s chief of staff did it. She would have been a lot more credible, cooler in my eyes if she hadn’t been afraid of the 800-pound gorilla. And moreover, I think she is a big enough star in conservative circles that she could have. It could have been her Sista Souljah moment. But no she did not.

Morever, the word in general. I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings and I have people in my family who have… limitations, so I wouldn’t want anyone to mischaracterize their challenges by calling them a “retard.” But words with hard consonants are funnier than ones with soft soft.

Cucamonga, funny.

Anaheim, not funny.

So that is why the word has become a “funny” word.  But maybe it’s time to retire it unless it’s for its real meaning as in, “Son’t put sugar on the plant; you will retard its growth!”

Wee Little Notes (& a Coupon for You!)

I love stationery for kids. It might seem funny to get cards made up with my children’s names on them and then write the thank you notes myself, but they can’t, so why not? I figure that over the years they will get that THEY are suppose to write thank you notes when they receive a gift. And they will pick up manual dexterity. I think I should let my friends and family know that I appreciate their generosity and one day, hopefully so will my offspring.

I paid through the nose for Viv’s first set of stationary, but you know that was 2005; we did things like that. It was cute, but I couldn’t figure out what to do with her name. It’s long: Vivien Tiana Brogdon Peel. Peel is legally her last name, although she thinks she has a hyphen last name, and if she ever wanted to change it, that would be fine. So, she has two middle names. I thought it was overkill to have all four names on the note cards but didn’t want to trash can my last name. (This also seems so 2005 that I could spend time thinking about this)

So the cards read:  Vivien T.B. Peel

Yeah, her middle initials are a disease. I should have give her the middle name Irene. That would have been some cool initials.

Well, those cards ran out, and I scanned around for some replacements. I liked the Paper Culture cards. They are modern and pretty. And instead of the long list o’ names I went for this:

Just a a pretty V and her first name. Seems regal… and less complicated. Personal, yet stopping short of her social security number. It’s an old-fashioned-type illustration, but it’s on a one-page card with rounded corners, so its not too fussy.

For now we can leave it at that. I told them I was going to blog about the cards, and they said if any Cool Mom readers wanted to get some, they would offer a 20% discount. Put in the code COOLMOM at check out. They are not pricey to begin with. This isn’t 2005.

COOLMOM code is good through 3/31/10 for 20% off their order (not to be combined with any other offer, and not applicable to shipping & handling or taxes).

Princess Pen

I think part of being a good parent is embracing your dorkiness. I was just at the park with Vivien for her sports class, and I had on a navy hoodie, brown velvet sweat pants, and worn sneakers.  No makeup, no shower (hey, bath the night before). One dad strode into the park with newsboy cap, leather blazer and posture that said, “These kids haven’t beaten me down!”  I thought I wish I had an outfit on. I wish I had clothes that match.  But, then again, why? I’m chasing after Rex crawling through the grass and sand. I’m lugging a bag over my shoulders full of snacks, water and diapers. A bag that would ruin the line of any stylish outfit. So, why bother? Why not just be covered and utilitarian and embrace it.

Yeah, I don’t dress up, I’m in momcognito.

Yeah, my roots are deep, and my nails are jagged because I’m too tired or too busy to leave my kids to attend to that.

And yeah, when I go to work ,my motherhood can betray my attempt at professionalism.

Have you ever had a moment like this at work?

Baby Safety Class

I was pumping my hand into the chest of the dummy kid with purpose and concentration. The instructor gave us a narrative, “Now you hear the sirens…” I was near tears. I was getting so wrapped up in my faux rescue I was nearly shaking.

I was still waiting for the choking talk. It had been 90 minutes since my save a little life class had started, and I was there primarily because of that.

Two weeks ago I was at my mom’s. Rex was on my lap, and my sister Cecily and I were yakking away. Rex was teething on some pizza crust. When he started to choke. Or nearly choke… cough/choke hybrid. Cecily started to push up on his lower belly, I stuck my finger in his throat to make him gag. A combo of the gagging and the coughing produced the pizza crust. They usually get soft in his mouth, but this had a burnt part that baby saliva couldn’t melt.

Rex started crying (a good sign), and I passed him to my sister so I could collapse for a second in hysterics. “He is fine Daphne, he is fine,” Cecily said.

“I know, but I was so scared.” I pulled it together and took Rex to nurse him.

Cecily, always wise, said, “We should take a baby first aid class, because I think what we did was wrong.”

Apparently it was. I learned so much in the class I can’t scratch the surface here. And I’ve taken it twice before. Once in college and once when I was pregnant with Vivien.


Did you know that beats we are now suppose to perform CPR on adult or child match the beats to the Bee Gee’s “Stayin Alive”? True and ironic.

Did you know that you shouldn’t dial 911 on a cell phone? Can take forever. Landline is better. Or program a local police station into your phone for emergencies.

That your kids should NEVER eat in the car. We heard some scary stories about that. One child who nearly died in his car seat on a piece of chicken (a bystander in the parking lot saved his life) and another child who did die eating a tiny piece of apple in her car seat. There isn’t enough time to react.

And my car has way too many cheerios on the floor anyway.

The instructor said, “Has anyone ever seen a child choke?” I raised my hand.

I told the story and, of course, I started crying. The nice RN teacher came and patted me. Then we went to work tipping the kid over, whacking him on the back. The imaginary grape came out, and all was fine.

I went home and drank wine.

Healing Hunter Part 2

I had linked before to my friend’s blog about her journey fighting with her son and husband to save her young son’s life. I have just read her latest entry: “Living life on the edge of fear.”

It’s not good.

I am stunned. I am so sad for them. I find it hard to believe in God when I see a lovely little boy who has fought most of his life, and now his mama is told they are out of chances. I don’t know what to say to them. I think this is such an immense sorrow there is nothing adequate.

I am so sorry to any parent that has gone through a child’s loss. My friend writes beautifully, even now.

Finances and Friends: Momversation

Have you felt your friendships changed because you did or did not have money? Rebecca from Girl’s Gone Child asks the question. Since we have moved, I have noticed a few less invites from some friends with big houses, but real friends stay constant.

I think we have discriminated somewhat against people who have bad taste in food. It’s just hard not to with Mark as my mate. But that doesn’t mean money.   have plenty of friends who cook up some yummy vittles in their small apartment kitchens. But, even so, sometimes you have to eat the crap they want if you really love them.

Watch the vid, and tell me what you think. I liked Giyen’s comment (Bacon Is My Enemy); it rang true.

Bangle Bar

Here’s another kind of bar that would be fun to belly up to. Alex and Ani bangle bar.

They sent me this collection of bangles. One of the many advantages of hosting a show about fashion. I love this combination. The light blue beads with gold is so me. But the site is very fun. You can custom make your bangles. They aren’t giving them away, but it wasn’t out of site either. Fun to make combinations and if you can one day order, great. They go nicely with the statement jewelery that’s been in vogue.

This was well timed for me since I can’t wear earrings anymore unless I want them pulled out of my body. Sometimes necklaces provide entertainment for Rex while we nurse, but sometimes I get choked.

A bracelet might be safer.

American Idol

Despite our best plans to hold Western civilization together realty shows, have become a part of our lives. Well, most of us. From the higher brow like Amazing Race, to those put-a-bunch-of-white-trash-girls-in-a-room variety, at some point we watch them. The Bachelor? No, never liked it. Blech. Talk about setting woman back.

But American Idol? Well, you see where I am going with this. And what do you think of Ellen so far? I think she’s fine.

Hannah Montana

Yes, as a matter of fact I am the best aunt. At least I am pretty sure what my 8-year-old niece Lily thinks. Through friends who are in the biz, I scored two tickets to see an episode of Hannah Montana taped the other week.

What was it like? I just got the feeling back in my thighs. Yes, you do sit a while. Production takes a while. Several takes. Repositioning cameras, etc.

I will say that every one was very nice. The warm-up guy kept us as entertained as one could be by peppering us with trivia questions. Most of which my niece knew. And they served us pizza. Which I wolfed down like it was the first food I had seen in hours.

Oh, it was.

I would have been texting or reading stuff on my blackberry but engaging on your cell phone is verboten. I even knew the security guard, but she was looking just as sharply at me as everyone else. I finally asked permission to check on my kids. Okay, if I walked out of the audience area. I would guess they don’t want any plot twists leaked to the public. You know, like “Lost.”

Some of the cast came and spoke to us which was a huge thrill for Lily. I don’t allow Vivien to watch the show, so apart from Billy Ray Cyrus they were all new to me. Which was probably good because then I was more charmed by the corny jokes and the bits.

“Hey, the kid who plays her brother is a funny actor.”

Near the end it was all worth it. When who climbed up into the audience to take a few questions but


I was screaming right with the 8 year olds. She is a nice girl. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Obviously more mature than I am now, let alone at 16 (or whatever she is now). She made the little girls very happy.

It was all worth it for me when my niece said it was the best day of her life.