Lockdown! The show

Hey gang!  On the advice of my new producer ( my 14 year old) I need to post longer videos and once a week.  I don’t need to worry about production value since some of the biggest youtubers vids look super janky.   ( my words.

So, here is my late night show… Lockdown.

Quick veggies… I’m back

Friends,  The last couple years have sucked.  I have my health, my kids are good.  Check!  But, dang.  The drama in my marriage- many sources– had worn me down and robbed me of gusto, self esteem, courage… in short, the Daph Master Flash.   

But, with the help of dear friends, white wine and some alone time I woke up the other day with a “hell yeah, let’s do this”.  I had don’t have a crew or pay, but gosh dang it I want to express myself!!  I miss cooking with a camera on me.   So, here is the product of my first attempt at my one woman food network.  Enjoy

 

A tale of two remotes

The age old question, where is the remote?  Eventually we all find it, behind a cushion, under the sofa, out back in some mud.  But, last week we gave up.  This time the remote had had enough of our abuse, dropping, buttery fingers and put a nap sack over it’s shoulders and hit the rails.

We have a 2 story house.  One big TV upstairs, one down stairs.  The days of my kids watching the same thing are rare.  But, not such a big deal because between homework, after school stuff and the random laptop we got by.  Until today….

Both kids home sick.  Vivien upstairs, Rex downstairs.  After I made the jell-o ( Cherry only and non of that sugar free yucky stuff) I got my exercise in as I shuttled the ONE remote up and down.  “My show is done, I need the remote Rex” Vivien called.

Up I went, Down I went

“I don’t like this show” Rex said.  Up I went, down I went.

Cody is overjoyed to greet the new remote

Then the mail came.  Today’s Daphne thanked Daphne of last week.  Because I ordered a replacement remote!  It had arrived.  Batteries in.  Now, I’m just sitting on my tushy till I’m called for the next round of jell-o

is cheese like heroin?

This weekend I’m in another Food: Fact or Fiction on Cooking Channel.   Here is a clip where I tackle the issue of why we love cheese.  ( why would we not?)  In this clip  host Michael Mckean actually says my name!   Been a fan for years.. if only we had been in the same room..and got to be funny together.  That would be an 11.

cobb salad fun

Ever wondered where a Cobb Salad came from?  Well, check me out of Cooking Channel’s Food: Fact or Fiction and find out.  Airs this weekend.  (Jan 14th 7pm PST)

They chyron me as “Home Cook”.  Hmm, host of the previously aired Daphne Dishes too long?  I’ve taped a few of these and I enjoy doing them.  The only bummer is they are all shot in an un airconditioned loft in Downtown LA.  We shot most of them in the warm months.  Because it is a noisy area we have to shut the hip industrial windows when we we tape and I probably had sweaty pits here.

But I digress…

What’s on Hand Pasta! ( and slow jam)

Easy dinner in a dash.

Happy New Year Humans!!

New Year’s can sometimes feel almost as compulsory as Valentines day — a crime against humanity– but this year was ok.  An impromptu party at my sister-in-law’s pretty condo with her exuberant husband, one of my sisters and awesome husband (Kevin Tent who edited Downsizing and directed the hilarious Crash Pad) a couple good girlfriends, one with a date  ( btw they did not follow the dictum that couples never sit next to each  other.  We gave them a hard time but they said because they were not married it was ok.  I judged in silence). Our favorite divorced bachelor (don’t even ask for his contact, his queue is longer than Space Mountain).   My nephew Charlie– 20, handsome, smart– showed up with 10 of his closest friends for a cameo.  Nice group.  I yelled at one kid for being on his phone before greeting us.  I was so proud I knew some of their names!

Damn it 2018, you better behave

I did counsel one young man who gushed that he would marry his present girlfriend.

“No, you won’t” I said.  She gave me a little look that said, “Yeah, tell him.”

“Maybe you can break up and get back together, but you are too young.  You don’t know yourself enough. Just enjoy the moment.”

In ten minutes I tried to impart much of what I have learned about being in relationships.

“Everyone is responsible for their own orgasms.  Woman cannot just lie there and wait for fairy dust.  They need to learn about themselves, know what they want and be vocal. Men do not know what is in our minds or how our bodies work… believe me!”  I think this is when my nephew’s mother (aka my sister) almost spilled her dry martini as she wedged herself between me and the besotted youth.  What’s the matter?  They are 20.

I digress.  We had a caterer because after the last 6 weeks I’d cooked more times than Mario Batali has shoved his junk on women in his restaurants.  ( was that my outside voice?)

IF a woman looked liked that she would be arrested and certainly not be given national TV shows to host.

So, here is a regular night dinner.  No fireworks or sex ed, or unwelcome attention  Just mid week, kids avoiding homework and I’m making dinner.  I want to go to the grocery store like I want to be close to Mario Batali  (oh, the humanity) so I’m a big fan of grabbing what’s on hand and making it happen.  With food, not fatty’s junk.

I hope you enjoy the little vid.