Post Christmas wish list

There is a reason why the holidays really need to be focused on the kids.  They will love some hunk of plastic for $15 .  I will not.

Anything that is easy to purchase looks like fodder for a white elephant party.

Take these gems I stumbled upon recently. On sale, if you can believe it!

Who doesn’t need an Elvis stocking?
bad gifts

Or better yet, Christmas at Graceland, which was on sale from it’s original $119.00.  Good burnt gravy!  That’s a lot of of after tax dollars for that tribute. Bring me the head of whoever paid full price for that.
bad gifts
What I want can’t be shoved into a stocking.  It’s boring, grown up stuff.  Someone to pay off my mortgage. Botox for life, the usual. How about daily massage?

I would like Santa to drive so much traffic to Cool Mom that I could derive a good income from it. Or whatever one does for such things. ( Dear Santa, why didn’t I go to Law School?).

The best gifts I got I’m paying for myself.  My bannister on my deck.  The steps were pretty scary without them.  This is like a pair of earrings under the tree for me. Except they would weigh me down and catch on a sweater.
wish list

The new roof on our back house.  Now, mind you we still don’t know what to do with this thing, but if we didn’t put a new roof on the “clubhouse”, as I call it, it would have melted in the next few months.  Look at that roofing tile!  Beautiful, like a little black dress.. but made out of fire retardent shingles!
wish list

You can see the front steps to the clubhouse look a bit Tobacco Road.  Well, maybe for my birthday…
wish list
While I’m making my wish list I would ask the present gods for a railing that’s not rusted and a redo of this fine crafted back stairs. They were a homemade job from a couple of owners ago. Each step is a different level. It’s a bit like a fun house.
wish list

This is why I love watching “Desperate Landscapes”.  I keep hoping that hunky dude with  the big arms is going to show up and fix my yard. But, sadly, like “Curb appeal” they only work on front yards.

Oh, of course the very best gifts don’t fit under the tree, but sometimes sleep next to it.

Why I Love Advertising Part 2

I kind of rush the beginning of this vlog, so if you didn’t see my previous video about this (Why I Love Advertising), let me explain. I always wanted to buy Tarn-X when I was a kid, but my mom said it was a waste of money. More than thirty years later (“more than” being the key phrase), I finally bought some. When I mentioned I didn’t test the Tarn-X, several (um, two) people asked me to do so. So, here is my test: will Tarn-X take off the tarnish on my silver like the commercials from the 1970s?

Home Wrecking Improvement

A mommy friend said to me the other day, “I almost divorced my husband over carpentry.” I get it. The mommy blog Dooce recently mentioned the perils of home improvement on a marriage. Not that long ago when Mark and I were house hunting we considered some fixers. I could now get on my knees and thank GOD we did not buy any of them (sort of how I am also glad that lousy boyfriends broke up with me. It hurt at the time, but it led me to a much, much better man). At the time another friend had said that if she and her husband bought a fixer no question they would be divorced. I was like, huh? Wow, really? Boy was I naive, and that was 6 months ago. We just bought a house that only needed some cosmetic help and man, oh man that was stressful enough. This is universal, right?


All weekend I was on a tear to get ready for our move on Monday. While I did the the physical act of preparing to move here were the three things running through my brain.

  1. Is it better to make a day of fun for Vivien during this transition or stick to a routine? As in we go to an amusement park so the move seems like a happy thing or keep it really regular in terms of schedule, oh, and 48 hours later we are somewhere new.
  2. Why, oh, why have I kept all this crap?! Have you ever done this? Find Post-Its with a barely readable scribble on it, or a phone number of someone you don’t know and you think “Why, oh, why did I save this?” It’s like mover/cleaner Daph thinks regular Daph is a messy, eccentric pack rat. Why does it take a move to make me decisive?
  3. I’m not helping Hillary. Tuesday is the Pennsylvania primary and I woke up Saturday saying to Mark, “I have to make calls.” I wasn’t in the mood. I did make one (you can go to and they have a page set for people to call in the primary they are focusing on) and the lady said, “I’m voting for her, but thinking of not cause I’m tired of all these calls.” I decided to be easily discouraged. Maybe I would only hurt her cause. But, I still want her to win and did read a few articles that got my girl defender dander up. Obama is acting as if he is not a regular pol while acting like a regular pol. In the past few months such emotion would have translated into action on my part. Now, I really need to organize.