Momversation: What’s Your Best Piece of Parenting Advice?

What’s the best parenting advice you ever got? I’m sure some was when I was super sleepy so I can’t remember it, but in this Momversation I did mention some gems. Some of the Momversationalists don’t like advice. I don’t mind advice, I mind a snippy know it all attitude which is not the same thing. If someone is tsk, tsking while your kid is in a meltdown and says things like “gee, maybe you should feed her” and you want to scream “Of course I feed my kid dumbass, she is 3 and this is part of being her age. Don’t judge my mothering!”

In the same situation the onlooker could say “I know this is tough mom. If you are ok with it sometimes I give my kids a c-o-o-k-i-e. I have some if you want it.”

Note on the programming: I shot in my dressing room at tv guide on a shoot day so I have pro hair and make up. Not all haggard.

New Mom Excuse: Momversation

This Momversation read my mind. I was a little bummed to realize at Rex’s milestone birthday I was not as thin as I was when as when Vivien turned 1. Not a huge difference, but a difference I covet. Of course I think I can give myself a break. I was a mom of leisure for Viv’s first year and with Rex I’ve been working, moving, salvaging finances, you know… recession fun! Not to mention being 3 and half years older.

How long did you use the new mom excuse?

Momversation:What to Say to Parents who Have Lost a Child

Monday night at 11:25pm Hunter Zen Thawley passed away in the loving arms of his parents. If there is a super something that makes these calls, I can tell it that a mistake has been made. His parents wanted him to stay. This was a strong boy who endured so much and still had the most adorable giggle a little boy could have. He was days away from being 3 and half.

This is the edited version of the long video that I accidentally posted the other day. Heather Spohr was a real champ here. She was candid and honest about her own experiences as a mother who lost a child. I so appreciate her doing that. When I asked this question of Heather, Hunter was still alive. And even though his parents were told he would not survive I still had some magical thinking that there would be an 11th hour save.

The deep pain that my friends, Hunter’s parent’s, are now going through is beyond measure. I wish that I could lift some of that pain off of them. I’m glad they know that in his short life Hunter did not live, laugh, and suffer in obscurity. His tenacity, and the love of his parents, has inspired  a lot of people. He was braver than I would have been, than most would be. By talking to Heather I hoped to maybe figure out someway to offer comfort to my friends and others who have lost a child or at the very least not to make their suffering any greater by doing or saying the wrong thing.

I will never forget you Iron Hunter.  I promise.

The “R” Word: Momversation

There was a lot going on in this discussion and due to time constraints it didn’t all get in.  But you get the gist. I started the Momversation because I was irked that Sarah Palin thought it was okay if Rush Limbaugh called people “retards” but was mad when Obama’s chief of staff did it. She would have been a lot more credible, cooler in my eyes if she hadn’t been afraid of the 800-pound gorilla. And moreover, I think she is a big enough star in conservative circles that she could have. It could have been her Sista Souljah moment. But no she did not.

Morever, the word in general. I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings and I have people in my family who have… limitations, so I wouldn’t want anyone to mischaracterize their challenges by calling them a “retard.” But words with hard consonants are funnier than ones with soft soft.

Cucamonga, funny.

Anaheim, not funny.

So that is why the word has become a “funny” word.  But maybe it’s time to retire it unless it’s for its real meaning as in, “Son’t put sugar on the plant; you will retard its growth!”

Finances and Friends: Momversation

Have you felt your friendships changed because you did or did not have money? Rebecca from Girl’s Gone Child asks the question. Since we have moved, I have noticed a few less invites from some friends with big houses, but real friends stay constant.

I think we have discriminated somewhat against people who have bad taste in food. It’s just hard not to with Mark as my mate. But that doesn’t mean money.   have plenty of friends who cook up some yummy vittles in their small apartment kitchens. But, even so, sometimes you have to eat the crap they want if you really love them.

Watch the vid, and tell me what you think. I liked Giyen’s comment (Bacon Is My Enemy); it rang true.

Momversation Autism Debate

Well, this report hit the mommy world. At I was asked to load up my response along with Mindy and Heather Spohr. When the report first appeared in The Lancet linking the MMR vaccine to Autism, it was a big deal. Now, The Lancet has taken it back citing lapses in the research and a relationship that the researcher had with a lawyer working with Autism groups that was not previously disclosed. I just heard the head of The Lancet on the radio, and he said that because of this they would not longer publish speculative studies, even if they did help further science one day because they are too public and too prone to hysteria.

Does this retraction change your mind about the link? Or about vaccines in general?

Haiti: What Do You Say? (Momversation)

Th launching pad for this discussion on Momversation (a sister site) was the earthquake in Haiti.  Do you allow your kids to see the footage?  What do you say?  But, sadly every few months, it seems there is some big awful tragedy that we have to decide how much of a filter our kids need.  Toward the end of the vid Karen of asked, “What age do you take off the filter?”  My stepson is 16, and he has no filter when it comes to current events. I tried to think when that was lifted. I think it was bit by bit, but he had his own computer at 12. At that age he can go on any news site and see stories. I think there is also a danger in becoming jaded to tragedy.

Now, whether a kid that age should have unfettered access to the net is another question…I don’t make those decisions.  For my bio kids I would think twice about it.

In this Momversation you will learn what kept me up at night as a kid.  What kept you up at night?