66 Year-Old Mom

This was a story from a couple of weeks ago that caught my eye.  Sorry to slag off on the old lady, but come on!

And by the way… this is the debut of my new abode!  It’s a nice house we are renting right now for our “regroup year”.

Post-Pregnancy Weight Loss

Argh, I know! It’s only been 7 weeks, but I’m feeling impatient to not have what looks like a small butt on my lower belly. I know it took 6 months to lose weight with Viv, but I’m worried. And it doesn’t help that I have recently done a red-carpet event staring up close at Anne Hathaway, Nicky Hilton, and the like, and that I just did a shoot with Kim Kardashian (she is selling shoes now at Shoedazzle.com). I feel big and old.

[Sidebar: you can be thin, pretty, and rich, but the humor and charisma meter pin won’t budge. The worst offender recently was Nicky Hilton. Honey, don’t act all shy and meek; you are at a public event for Pete’s sake.]

But I digress. I started trying to do a decent walk everyday. And some mornings I say I will go to an exercise class, but by the time I feed Viv and nurse Rex, class has begun, and I stay seated in my milk-soaked gown. Maybe I’ll just play a lot of hide and seek with Viv.

Horoscopes Are For the Birds

A couple of years ago, I was performing at the Comedy Store on Sunset Blvd. in LA. A male comic came on later and brought the house down, the kind of rolling, “I think I may pee” funny. I wish I knew his name to give him credit. He did a bit where he said, “You know, the only people who care about astrology are straight woman, gay woman, and gay men. Straight men would sooner have a discussion about how much money it would take for them to give another man a blow job than talk about astrology. Which, by the way, for me is $4,800 if I’m drunk, $6,000 if I’m sober.”  I’m sure I’m getting a few words wrong, but this comic had us in stitches. A friend of my husband’s was undone, “OMG, I’ve had that conversation.” I wish I had written that bit because for a long time now this astrology thing has really bugged. about Here’s a vlog I did when I was still pregnant about astrology.

How Dare She?!

Since I have my hands full with a new baby and going back to work, my big sister Carole is going to pitch in with some blogs. She is a witty, wonderful woman who recently drove me home from work. Who knew what she was thinking? Well now we do.

As I was driving Daphne home from work yesterday (doctor’s orders after the C-section), she excitedly pulled up her shirt and showed me her semi-flat belly, at the same time casually mentioning that she had hopped on the scale that morning and had already lost 16 pounds. (I waited about 3 months to attempt this after my son was born, and it took me another 3 months to recover from the number blinking back at me.)

Well, sibling rivalry does not begin to cover the envy and jealousy (and did I mention envy?) that I had after she told me this! I jokingly asked her to get out of my car and then reconsidered when I realized we were on a busy section of Hollywood Blvd.  I have to hand it to Daphne; she only gained 32 pounds with Rex, and I gained over 50 when my son Charlie was born. (He is 11 now.) I was on a non-stop quest for prime rib and hot fudge sundaes when I was pregnant. So what took me a couple of years to achieve, she did in a week and half. Is it just me, or are you thinking it too… how dare she?